


Tapes

by PwoperNinjaElf



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Architect Matt, Body Worship, Cheating (but not between the guys), F/M, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, Kissing, Laughter, M/M, Pining, Real Estate Agent Dom, exes to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-12 15:05:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 72,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7939129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PwoperNinjaElf/pseuds/PwoperNinjaElf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running into Matthew again, after all the time that had gone by since their messy parting, Dominic had thought life was finally smiling down on him again and offering him a second chance. If only it could have been so simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's not finished just yet, but so close. I decided the time has come to start posting it though, Lord knows I've been working on it for enough years, I'd like to see what you all think. This is my favourite story I've ever done and I can only hope you'll enjoy it half as much. This is my dearest baby (even though you should never have favourites - hush, don't tell the others)and I'm super nervous about posting it...
> 
> Also, don't fret, I'm not abandoning PT or CF!
> 
> None of this would have been possible without the never ending support of Evie, who never fails to be there for me! <3   
> Thank you to V naturally as well, for reading along with this as I wrote it and being an awesome cheerleader and letting me bounce ideas off of her <3   
> I also want to say a big thank you to D for her support and love for this series as well <3   
> And lastly thank you to Lou and Jenn who have seen a glance and were just lovely, as always! <3   
> It's because of you guys that I've managed to do as much as I have.
> 
> NOTE - Also, just to avoid possibe confusion, the beginning and end parts in italics are 'tapes', like home movies from the past that the boys, or say Tom, made back in the day.

  
_The camera zoomed in on a couple snogging heavily atop a red and white checkered picnic blanket, the black-haired man practically on top of the slightly larger blond.  
  
"Oi, queers! Look what I got!" a voice called from behind the camera's vantage. The kissing men instantly scrambled apart, both glaring daggers at the man behind the camera, only to then notice the actual camera's presence.  
  
"Tom! Why the fuck are you filming us?!" the raven-haired man demanded, jumping out of the blond's embrace to charge the cameraman.  
  
"Now you've done it, talk about a peeping Tom!" the blond-haired man laughed, as he too got to his feet to run after the other man in order to rescue the cameraman.  
  
"Save me, Dom!" The camera work began to go blurry and jump around as the cameraman tried to escape from his pursuer, but still attempted to continue with his filming.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing?!" the blond called back to the cameraman and managed to grab hold of the slight, raven-haired man.  
  
"Hey, whose side are you on?!" he cried as the two crashed to the ground and the camera work could once more stabilise, danger out of the way.  
  
"You lot are ridiculous," a fourth voice called and the camera swerved to focus on another young man, his height significantly greater than the currently tackling duo on the bottom left of the footage.  
  
"Please, Chris, your jealousy's showing!" the raven-haired man called, as the camera swivelled back then to focus on the two on the ground, before their tackling quickly turned back to their previous activity of sucking one another's faces off.  
  
"Ew, of that? I think not!" the tall man's voice could be heard off camera, followed by the sound of fake gagging. "Can't think of anything worse than snogging another man, let alone Dom!"  
  
In reply, as the camera continued to zoom in on the increasingly publically indecent couple, the blond could be seen shooting the other man the finger, while he continued to kiss the life out of his boyfriend.  
  
"Yuck, I've seen enough! And sheesh, Tom, since when were you into voyeurism? When you said you wanted a career in photography, I didn't realise you meant in the gay porn industry!" the tall man called laughing his head off, as the camera quickly abandoned its filming of the couple – who'd seemingly shut out the rest of the world as they rolled on the grass lost in one another – instead dropping its view to that of the ground and the cameraman's faded old Converse.  
  
"Chris! For fuck's sake! You're not funny! I just wanted to record the two of them, so that I could show them just how insufferable it is to always be around them!" the cameraman's voice could be heard defending himself, while the other man just laughed, before there was a bit of rustling and the screen went dead._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
It all started again when Dominic had gone on his daily run through the park. Having gotten off from work early, he'd decided a late afternoon jog would do some change from his usual weekly evening one. One had to stay fit and in shape after all.  
  
Dom was tired of spending his nights alone, he'd been single long enough and had had more than enough time to get over his last serious relationship, so if he was planning on getting back in the game, he needed to really look the part too.  
  
It was while he was jogging past the kiddies' playground that someone caught his eye though. Many years had passed, but he'd recognise that familiar profile anywhere, endless hours having gazed at it proving their use.  
  
Slowing down to a walk, Dom pulled out his earphones and cautiously walked over to the park bench before the jungle gyms. A whole bunch of children were laughing and playing, their parents and babysitters either sitting back on similar such benches, or playing along and encouraging their kids down slides or pushing them in the swings.  
  
"Matthew, is that you?" Dom asked, afraid he may be making a right tit out of himself in front of some stranger, but when the man on the nearby bench jumped and looked his way, his hunch was confirmed.  
  
After all these years, he'd run into none other than Matthew fucking Bellamy, in the large park opposite his swanky apartment, near the centre of town, of all places.  
  
The other man's instantly recognisable eyes – Dom had never been able to forget that breathtaking shade of blue – widened suddenly, before sparkling with recognition as Dom came closer.  
  
"Dominic?" he asked, even the sound of his voice struck such a cord with Dom, that when the other man got up to shake his hand hello he felt a flood of memories rush him. "God, it's been years!" The feeling of being reunited with those long fingers wrapped around his hand, however brief the contact, made his gut twist and heart ache.  
  
 _Neon bright lights, their bodies grinding to the beat of the music, sweat and narcotics in the air. Spontaneous trips where they'd just get in a car and drive wherever the road took them; as long as they were together, that was all that had mattered. Long days spent lying under the covers and sharing all their deepest wishes, thoughts and darkest secrets. Longer nights spent exploring one another in only the most intimate of ways, both open to anything new and yet to be experienced._  
  
 _Waking up to the sight and feel of brightly coloured hair – his little Energizer bunny having tried them all – beneath his chin and his small body cradled in his arms. Countless shenanigans and crazy experiences bringing them closer, stealing his everything which he had gladly given. That wickedly high-pitched laughter, warm smile and insane schemes and mad theories, which would fill any silence. His crazy meerkat, his manic friend, his attentive lover and his chosen companion._  
  
"Yeah, I nearly didn't recognise you," Dom replied, lingering hurt and sadness resurfacing too, though he smiled, genuinely pleased to see the other man again despite the past.  
  
 _Unexplained absences, before they led to truly being left abandoned and alone. Blood proving to indeed be thicker than water. Rejected and expelled, left to watch as all that he'd offered up and devoted was simply thrown aside. Watching as he'd packed up all his things, half-outgrown peroxided hair not even gelled for a change, reflecting the dilapidated and crushed feeling in his own heart as he watched everything fall apart. Months spent in an empty and broken state of mind, his being and purpose lost, uninspired and locked away. Years spent rebuilding and trying to forget…._  
  
And now, here, his one-time crazy, hyper pixie stood before him once more, several years older, yet that spark he had always felt was still undeniable.  
  
"But I'm glad you did, Lord knows I'd probably not have recognised you," he laughed, sending Dom's stomach into knots at the sound of the admittedly missed noise. "Wow, though, you look good. The years have definitely been kind," he added taking in the way Dom had let his blond hair grow out and was in even better shape than when they'd previously known one another, his lean legs on display in his jogging shorts and his skin now bronzed perfectly by the sun.  
  
The comment made Dominic's skin heat, even after all this time, and he couldn't help taking in Matthew properly too. His hair was no longer some or other crazy colour, but rather its obviously natural toffee-brown – a colour Dom had actually never seen it before, having met him when he'd had pitch-black hair – and it also wasn't as long as it had always been, but was still just as messy. Matthew had also put a bit more meat on his bones. He was by no means fat – Dom unable not to notice his still skinny arms and wrists – but he no longer looked like he'd be blown over by a gust of wind.  
  
"Uh, thanks, you don't look too bad yourself," he replied, a smile lighting up his face and drawing in the brunet's attention. "Though it's strange to see you in normal old clothes that even vaguely match, let alone without some or other mad colour in your hair." Dom's smile only grew when he was rewarded with another bubbly laugh.  
  
"Oi, I've always dressed alright!" Matthew laughed, dramatically giving his current outfit, of a simple pair of grey trousers and graphic tee, a once over. "And yeah, been through the hair dye stage already and grown out of it," he winked, ruffling his tufts of brown hair and nearly knocking off his pair of blue sunglasses in the process.  
  
It was then Dominic's turn to laugh at just how little had changed about his one-time lover and friend, his familiar awkward hand movements and gestures, along with his jerky speech, warming the part in Dom's heart which he'd thought he'd managed to discard years ago.  
  
"So, what've you been up to the past decade or so, and how come you're hanging around the playground like a peado?" Dom joked, laughing at Matthew's mock offended face, until a little girl dressed in bright colours came charging at them.  
  
"Daddy! Elliott keeps eating the sand!" she reported in horror, running at Matthew, who crouched down so that he could be eyelevel with her as she rushed into his arms.  
  
 _'Daddy'?!_  
  
Dom's heart and stomach suddenly dropped as he properly took in the little girl, despite having dirty-blonde hair, her eyes were unmistakable. Their shinning blue an exact replica of Matthew's own bright azure orbs.  
  
"Clearly not a peado then..."  
  
Matthew was suddenly then reminded of Dominic's presence and stood up straight again, though the little girl grabbed onto his hand and hid behind him a bit too, gazing up at Dom suspiciously.  
  
"Uh, well yeah, um, this, Dom," Matthew began, guiding the little girl in front of him and putting his hands over her shoulders protectively. "Is my daughter, Samantha. Sammy, say hello to Dom, he's one of Daddy's old... friends."  
  
 _'Friends'._  
  
Dominic's feelings took a slight hit at that, Matthew clearly deciding it was better if she didn't know everything, which Dom knew wasn't necessarily out of spite, but it still hurt a bit.  
  
The little thing was definitely small and with her wild hair and mischievously shinning eyes, she couldn't have looked anything more like her father. Cautiously, though, she stepped closer and with narrowed eyes assessed Dom critically, while Matthew looked distractedly behind them towards the children playing about.  
  
"Hey there!" Dom grinned, crouching down now himself and extended a hand to her. "It's awfully nice to meet you, Miss Samantha," he said in an overly old fashioned manor, which made the little girl grin and she extended her own hand, a high little giggle echoing around when he gave it a peck and stood up again, bringing Matthew’s attention right back.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
Matthew beamed over at Dom in wonder, but he simply shrugged. "My sister has a few kids, I've had more than enough practice babysitting them."  
  
"Oh, Danielle settled down?" Matthew asked, genuinely interested, remembering the wild party girl Dom had had for a sister.  
  
"Yeah, she and Mark actually tied the knot, not long after... um, after we..."  
  
"Oh. Oh, yeah, I remember Mark. Nice guy," Matthew said awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.  
  
Mark and Danielle had gotten together round about when Dom and Matthew had, but out of the two couples, Dominic had always thought that he and Matthew had stood the better chance of making it through. Instead, now here he was, once again alone and single, while Dani and Mark had happily gotten hitched and popped out a few kids and Matthew too had seemingly found someone else and started a family of his own.  
  
At this thought, the blond's eyes were drawn to the platinum band around Matthew's ring finger. Noticing his stare, the other man self-consciously slid his left hand into his trouser pocket.  
  
Blissfully oblivious to the whole awkward exchange between the two adults, Sammy choose this moment to tug on her father's sleeve and remind him of the little issue at hand, of her brother still eating dirt.  
  
"Oh, shit," Matthew cursed, having completely forgotten and then mentally slapped his forehead as Sam gasped at the word. "Sorry, Sammy, Daddy didn't mean to say that, it was a bad word and you must never use it," he tried to reason with her and she nodded her head, already bored and just impatient to bust her baby brother.  
  
Dom couldn't help but smile sadly at the exchange, amused by Matthew as a father; the possibility never even having occurred to him. At least not in this way.  
  
"Uh, sorry, Dom, I best check this out then. Please don't go just yet, I'd love to catch up some time. I must just go and rescue Elliot from himself; his latest fixation being dirt," Matt called over his shoulder as Sammy, her hand tightly holding his, led him off to the scene of the crime.  
  
So Dom sat down on the bench and waited, his treacherous eyes trailing after the retreating curve of Matthew's arse in his loosely-fitting trousers. He knew he was a taken man, but he couldn't help it, even after all this time it was still such a natural response. He'd always been an arse man, and Matthew definitely had had one of the best, judging through the poor fitting trousers though Dom couldn't exactly tell if the case still remained. It probably did though, he figured with a scowl.  
  
 _Fuck_ , he thought as he sat there. He couldn't actually believe what had just happened; after all this time he'd run into Matthew again, and at first it had seemed like perhaps the unthinkable was happening and that something good might actually be happening in his life. But then, of course, Matthew would have had to have gotten married in the meantime and now even had a small brood of his own. So much for that.  
  
It hurt, he knew that lots of time had passed and that he should have moved on and forgotten about Matthew long ago. Several long years had gone by and he'd dated and loved others since, but in the back of his mind and deep in his heart, he knew that the scars and marks Matthew had left had never gone away.  
  
He'd always thought that Matthew Bellamy was his soul mate, as ridiculously cheesy as that sounded, and that he'd been the one that had gotten away. Some part of him, however irrational and small it had been, had still always thought they would meet again, so when he'd seen Matthew... He'd just never expected things to be so final, so... irreversible. He'd never have Matthew again and it damn well hurt like a bitch of note.  
  
So why was Dom sitting around like a patient lap dog, gazing on as he could see Matthew a few paces away, sitting in the sandpit and talking to a very small child, while Sammy desperately tried to gain some attention too, by attempting to scale his back. What could he possibly hope to get out of this? To have Matthew as a friend once more, but as a friend only, the fact that he'd been pushed away and rejected forever shoved in his face? That Matthew had moved on and had gone on to do fine and well without him?  
  
No. He was being ridiculous, what did he care if Matthew was married and had a hundred odd kids? His own life wasn't any less either in comparison, he looked good, he lived comfortably, so what if he was currently single and spent his time out of the house either at work or working out? Good for him in fact, it showed he was a productive member of society. That he was independent in fact.  
  
For whatever reason, though, Dom found himself rising to his feet anyway as Matthew was now being attacked by his offspring and actually calling out for his assistance.  
  
"Dom!" his voice wheezed, that signature, manically high-pitched laugh that Dominic had truthfully missed sounding out while he dramatically rolled around and let Sammy tickle his sides and the toddler pull on his hair. "Save me!"  
  
The two kids thought the whole game was a blast and laughed along loudly, showing their father no mercy as he frantically kicked about. Dom also knew that it wasn't all just acting either, Matthew had always been a ticklish sort, but the blond had to quickly shake his thoughts, most of his experiences with that particular trait of the brunet's, not quite appropriate to conjure up in a children's playground.  
  
"Dom! Get these little pests off me!" Matthew cried out, wriggling and jiggling around in the sandpit.  
  
"No, Dom, help us!" Sammy countered, and Dominic suddenly found himself swimming in a sea of blue as both sets of eyes gazed up at him pleadingly, Elliot content to just continue with tugging his dad's hair and ears.  
  
There'd never really been much choice of course and soon the calls of "Traitor!" could be heard loudly in the playground, as Dom sided with the kids and took his turn to attack Matthew's sides, much to both children's delight. The sound of Matthew's laugh too addictive not to, also – if he was completely honest – the opportunity to touch the other man again was also too much to resist. He felt appalled with himself, but he couldn't help it.  
  
He didn't care if it was just to be acquaintances or friends again; he'd missed Matthew Bellamy too much and, as bad as he knew it was for himself, couldn't bear to lose him again. So what if he knew it could never be anymore?  
  
Surely this would be enough. Something was better than nothing after all, right?  
  
  
===  
  
  
That evening, when Dom went out to drinks with his two life-long best friends, Tom and Chris, he told them all about the strange, out of the blue reunion with his ex.  
  
"Shit, and you were okay? It must have been hard to see him... not to mention the fact about him being married and having sproglets now," Chris sympathised, rejoining his mates, a pint of beer for them each balancing in his hands.  
  
"Well... yeah, it definitely wasn't easy. To say it was all rather a bit of a shock is an understatement," Dominic admitted, accepting his pint gratefully. "I never pictured him settling down with a woman, let alone as a father too!"  
  
"The lines did tend to blur a bit when it came to which gender he preferred, but you're right... Although, then I did always think the two of you would end up together," Chris agreed before taking a good chug of beer.  
  
"Still, I wonder who she is, he never really mentioned her, we also then even arranged to meet up next week for a drink and a catch up, perhaps he'll tell me about her then?" Dom said with a shrug, the other two looking at him with wide eyes.  
  
"You arranged to meet up again?" Tom asked, surprised by the revelation, but also wanting to steer the conversation away from the mystery woman.  
  
"Yeah, I don't know... we just instantly gelled, you know? It was almost like old times. Like nothing had happened."  
  
"Except for the fact that he broke your heart and left without looking back and that there were two kids hanging around you both today," Chris muttered, the comment helping to bring up exactly what Dom was trying to ignore.  
  
"Well, yeah, we're also not as young either. Plus his kids were sweet, I think I've even made quite the impression on little Sammy. Elliot's only a little over a year old though, he'll be happy with anyone," Dom couldn't help add.  
  
"Oh, Dom," his friends sighed, smiling at him sadly, knowing the look on his face too well.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The man's married, mate. Married with kids, that's like if Tom started to try put the moves on me," Chris tried to reason, making Dom pout and Tom shudder in disgust as he muttered "As if" to himself.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Sheesh, it's not like it's a date anyway. Just drinks with a long-lost friend–"  
  
"That you used to fuck," Tom was quick to add, making Dom glare at him.  
  
"–nothing more. It was nice to see him today and it'll be nice to see him again. I don't care if it's not a romantic relationship with the man anymore, but I still wouldn't mind having him as a friend again," Dom continued, shooting Tom a warning look. "I missed him."  
  
"Dom," Chris sighed, looking over at his mate sympathetically.  
  
"Anyway, like we've established, the bloke's got a missus, so nothing can happen. As long as you're alright with that?" Tom asked sceptically. "'Cause I know you, Dom, you get attached real quick and Matthew was always your weak spot."  
  
"Yes, Tom, I'm not a complete idiot. I can be around the man without trying to jump his bones!" Dom defended himself, offended by his friend's insinuation.  
  
"Relax, Dom, we're just trying to watch out for you. It's been years, but I still remember how broken you were after the whole disaster and the way he hurt you," Chris reminded him, before downing the rest of his beer.  
  
"Yeah, mate. We only want what's best for you, and anyway Leah doesn't seem the sort to fuck with. Sure she's a lovely girl and all, but every rose has its thorn, no doubt the lovelier, the sharper what lies beneath is; through lack of use," Tom said, forgetting himself briefly and leaving the other two to stare at him questioningly.  
  
"Leah? Who's that, is that his wife's name?" Dominic asked, overly curious and shocked by his friend's slipup. "How do you know anything about who he's with?!"  
  
 _Shit, busted._  
  
"Um, well, she's a model turned photographer, so we occasionally run into one another, what with working in the same circles... And I may have been reintroduced to Matt, but as her 'darling husband'," Tom swallowed, not at all enjoying the accusing looks he was being sent.  
  
"Shit, Tom. Why didn't you ever tell us?" Chris asked, confused as to why Tom – who usually blabbered about everything – would keep something like that from them.  
  
"Well, I figured Dom had moved on from that... episode, and didn't need to be reminded of it, let alone the fact that Matt had started a family with some woman..." Tom replied, awkwardly rotating the still full glass in front of him. "When I met him again we both also played stupid, I didn't want to cause a scene and he just kept his distance."  
  
"She would be an ex model, fuck," Dom groaned, dropping his head to the table.  
  
"Well, it's not like she was some major supermodel, she just did some photo shoots and stuff, which is also how she discovered she far preferred taking the pictures instead..." Tom said, trying to make Dom feel a bit better, before finally taking a sip of his pint, if only to do something with himself.  
  
"Well, anyway, at the end of the day what does any of it matter?" Chris said, glad to see Dom lift his head again. "It's not like anything's gonna change; Dom'll see Matthew again for drinks, become or not become friends again, and they'll continue to live their own separate private lives, so who cares who the man's married to anyway? Maybe this is just what Dom needs: a bit of closure."  
  
Of course Dominic nodded and agreed, before the conversation thankfully changed back to something else and he was left alone with his thoughts about Matthew and all that had changed the past several years since their messy break-up.  
  
Friends, acquaintances, or even if they then never even saw one another again, he couldn't help but go to bed that night with a small smile. Closure. Perhaps Chris was right, that's why Dom had run into Matthew in the park. It was life's way of showing him he could finally move on properly and let everything go.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _The camera moved in on tufts of black hair peaking out from under a white duvet, just the top of the sleeping man's face was visible, eyelids shut and dark eyelashes casting long shadows along the just visible tops of sharp cheekbones.  
  
A hand could then be seen coming from somewhere behind the camera as it grabbed hold of the top of the duvet and flipped it open, startling the sleeping man to consciousness.  
  
"Morning, sleepyhead, you've been out for ages," the man off camera's voice soothed, as his hand came up to brush black strands of hair out of the way of two bright-blue eyes, which were blinking open sleepily, a frown creasing above them due to the unexpected wakeup.  
  
"Dom?" a groggy voice croaked from him in reply. "Why the fuck are you filming me sleeping?"  
  
"More like waking," came the other man's reply, before the camera wobbled a bit and the sight of blond hair took over, the unmistakable sound of the two kissing quickly following, before the head of blond hair drew back again and the camera stabilised once more on the raven-haired man in bed, a light blush now gracing his fair cheekbones. "Tom gave me this old thing as a moving out gift, so I figured I may as well use it."  
  
"What, on creepily filming me while I try and recover from last night?" the young man asked, a single dark eyebrow raised, making the blond laugh.  
  
"Hush, Matt, the whole reason why I'm filming all this, is so that when we're grey and old we can look back and smile at the old times; now we can't even show this to the grandkids after that little dose of implication on your part!"  
  
"Naww, is that your way of saying you want to grow old with me? Plus I didn't know you wanted to even have kids one day, let alone grandkids," the dark-haired man giggled and sat up a bit giving the camera a better view of his skinny, bare midriff as he reached out and grabbed the cameraman._  
  
"Maaaaybe," _came a giggle from him as the camera's image blurred while the two men shifted, forgetting briefly about it. "Besides, I've always liked kids; wouldn't be the worst thing, you know?"  
  
"Hmm, I don't know, I mean, let's get serious here, can you even begin to imagine me as someone's father? I certainly can't!" The camera then eventually focused its picture again, to reveal that the other man was now lying down next to the madly giggling raven-haired man on the bed, both lying back and holding the camera above their faces.  
  
"True, you'd certainly make an interesting dad," he agreed, his shorter, blond hair just as messily sticking up in odd directions.  
  
"Well, I still can't see why I can't talk about the fucking amazing marathon shag we had last night!" the skinnier man cheekily added, abandoning his hold on the camera to instead roll on top of the blond, the footage briefly fuzzing as the other man tried to keep the camera steady, although his face was no longer visible. "Surely we'd want them to know the truth then? When people are in love, they have sex. And lots of it. Quite simple really," the dark-haired man added, before leaning in more, the sounds of them kissing again filling the silence, the camera having dropped a bit due to the distraction. It's view now that of his pale back covering most of the blond beneath him, the duvet having ridden low enough to reveal two small dimples at the base of his spine, a tanned hand covering the rest of the pale skin which the duvet failed to.  
  
"So, is that then your way of telling me you love me?" the blond eventually managed to ask, after the kissing had subsided, the raven-haired man now content to just curl up at his side, pitch head of hair resting on his chest, allowing him better control of the camera again._  
  
"Maaaaaybe," _was the only response before the blond dropped the camera, leaving it to stare blankly at the kicking white duvet before it was completely knocked off the bed, the sounds of wet kissing and moaning all that registered from the pair above, before it all cut to black._

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next bit! Just a little warning for het, it's only a small bit and if you really do have such an issue with that, well, then just skip that bit. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, the chapters for this fic are all fairly long! <3

_"Observe the rare homo sapien sapien – better known as the homo homo sapien – in its natural environment," came a voice from off camera, the screen moving to focus in on a man with blond hair, who was busy cooking. "This specific individual, Dominic we shall refer to him as, is well known for its culinary exploits and that it–"  
  
"What are you up to, Matt?" the blond asked, looking up from the greens he was dicing. "Hey, I've been wondering what happened to the camcorder, where did you find it?"  
  
"Under your bed, must've been there for a while. Anyway, you're interrupting my nature documentary on rare and wonderful beasts. So, if you wouldn't mind just returning to your cooking, I could continue my filming." The camera at this point was steadily moving closer to the blond who was laughing and shaking his head affectionately.  
  
"You really are a special one, aren't you?" he laughed, putting down his knife on the cutting board and moved forward, hand reaching out for the camera.  
  
"Oi, you always get to film, now's just my turn!" the cameraman objected as the footage began to blur a bit, hands and then feet coming into view as the two men clearly fought for control of it.  
  
The blond ended up winning, as it was the other man, arms crossed and bottom lip jutted out, that came into view when the camera eventually stabilised.  
  
"Naww, don't pout, Matt. Smile for the camera, love. Want to see your pretty smile."  
  
At this the man with a shock of bright yellow hair struggled to suppress a smile, the camera zooming more on him as the new cameraman's hand appeared and began poking at his sides. Eventually giving up, a wonky-toothed smile broke through as he batted away the onslaught. "You're such a wanker, Dom."  
  
"But you _luuurve _me!" the man off camera sang falsely. "And besides, you also love my cooking, don't you?"  
  
At this the yellow-haired man made a big show of considering the other man's words, scratching at his cleft chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm, it's okay, I wouldn't go so far as to say I _love _it though," he teased as the camera swivelled off. A hand then came into view as it grabbed a cupcake, iced in bright green, off a cooling rack, before it was dragged back behind the cameraman, just catching the act of the blond-haired man stuffing the treat into the other man's mouth.  
  
"Nahmhsnm–Dom!" came his muffled complaint as he chewed and swallowed the forced mouthful. "Jesus, some warning would've been nice! Not to mention the fact that I now have icing all over my face!"  
  
"Well, you liked it, and as for the icing? That can be fixed." The camera was then held aloft, giving it an almost aerial view of both men, as the blond licked at the other man's face, before he was captured into a deep, sugary kiss._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
Dominic was waiting for Matthew at a little pub complete with a small playground in the garden, in case customers had kids, where he sat at one of the picnic-style tables.  
  
With a sigh Dom had to then also take note of the fact that Matthew did indeed now have children. Also that Matthew had sent him a text saying that he'd been given responsibility of said children last minute, so he was going to have to bring them along. So much for their deep heart-to-heart, Dom thought.  
  
Just when Dominic was wondering how long he'd have to wait for the other man and his offspring, he heard a little girl's giggle followed by the painfully familiar cackle of his ex.  
  
"...exactly, Sammy! Ooh, look there's Dominic!" At this the blond turned to see Matthew pushing a black and red stroller, in which a sleeping toddler with tufts of toffee-coloured hair sat, and a little girl, Sammy, skipping alongside him with a bag in the shape of Tigger on her back and dressed in bright, mismatched clothing. "Hey, sorry we're a bit late," Matthew apologised when they reached Dom. "We couldn't find Tigger, and of course Sam refused to leave without him."  
  
"Uh, don't worry about it, it's all good," Dom smiled with a shrug, still perplexed by the sight of Matthew as a father. "Hi there, Sammy," he then grinned down at the small girl, having graduated to nicknames after their joint attack on her father in the park, while deciding to leave the little boy to his nap.  
  
Sammy blushed bright pink and tried to scuttle behind the protection of her father's jeans – which Dom couldn't help noticing were a lot more snug than the last pair of trousers he'd seen the slight brunet in.  
  
"Come on, Sam. There's no need to be shy, remember your manners, love," Matthew tried, scooping up the little girl into his arms so that she couldn't hide, though instead she just tried burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Sweetheart, you're being rude, say hello back."  
  
"It's fine, don't worry. If she's shy, she's shy, I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable," Dom said feeling a bit awkward, but thankfully the little girl chose that moment to surrender and look back at him, her bright-blue eyes stuttering his heart a bit. Their precise similarity to Matthew's still a surprise he doubted he'd ever get used to.  
  
"Hi." And then she was squirming in Matthew's arms, so he put her back down and she ran up to Dom and offered him her hand, making her dad chuckle.  
  
"Look what you've done, Dom. She'll expect that now every time!" he laughed as Dom grinned back and bent to grace her small, dimpled hand with a light peck, making her giggle with glee.  
  
"I don't mind, as long as she's happy," he replied with a smile as she ruffled his hair.  
  
"Dom has pretty hair!!" Sammy laughed as she continued to pet it in his crouching position, which gave her the perfect access to the thick, dark golden strands.  
  
Matthew just continued to laugh as he grabbed her by the waist and swung her around in his arms playfully. "Oi, you cheeky monkey, let's not ruin his hair now. Dom always was a little vain with it," he laughed along with her and winked teasingly at Dom, who dramatically made a show of fixing and fluffing the perfect mop of blond hair.  
  
"Not true, you were always the vain one when it came to hair, Rainbows!" Dom countered, making Matthew gasp dramatically and Sammy laugh loudly as she began to mess up his short, brown locks.  
  
"RAINBOWS!" she cackled loudly, as Matthew plonked her back down on the ground.  
  
"Thank you, Dom. That's just bound to stick now," he groaned before pretending to chase after the little girl and Dom laughed, only for Sammy to charge back up to him and make a show of hiding from Matthew behind his skinny-jean-clad legs.  
  
The three's laughter grew to be all too much though, as they chased after one another around the wooden table, and little Elliot woke in a fit of startled tears.  
  
"Aww, Elliot, I'm sorry, love," Matthew hushed, rushing over to go pick the crying toddler up and bounce him reassuringly in his arms while he held him. "It's okay, hush now. Look what Daddy has." And with that Dom watched as the brunet pulled out a dummy from his pocket and popped it into the sniffling child's mouth. "There, that's better right, hmm?" he asked, stroking the little boy's hair and gave his cheek a kiss as Elliot sucked away on the bright orange dummy, the crying finally having stopped.  
  
At the whole scene, Dominic was impressed by how easily Matthew had clearly taken to parenting, a strange sadness working inside him, while Sammy lost interest in the whole display and charged off to go and play on the small swing set and slide.  
  
"Sorry about that, Dom," Matthew apologised when he was satisfied that Elliot was over his little fit, while he supported the kid up on his hip.  
  
"No, um, don't worry about it. I totally understand, it's all good," Dom smiled, just as a barmaid came up to them.  
  
"Hello, can I get you gentlemen anything?" she asked and Matthew couldn't help but notice the way she rather openly checked Dom out.  
  
"Yeah, sure, that would be great thanks," Dom grinned back blissfully unaware and both men finally sat down opposite one another, Matthew with a very dozy Elliot on his lap.  
  
After the woman took their orders – Sammy screaming from the swings that she wanted a plate of chips, Matthew not surprising Dom at all when he easily gave in to her wish – Matthew chuckled at Dom.  
  
"What?" he asked, puzzled by the other man, a confused smile forming on his lips.  
  
"Our barmaid has the hots for you, my friend," Matthew continued to laugh, only increasing in pitch when Dom's mouth dropped open and a light blush formed on his cheeks.  
  
"Nah, you're imagining things," the blond tried to brush it off, not believing it for a second.  
  
"I'm not, she was checking you out, Dommeh! And I guess she can't really be blamed, 'cause look at you; yet she'll be sorely disappointed," Matthew giggled madly, oblivious of the way Dom's cheeks heated up even more at his words. Unlike with the discovery of the waitress' interest in him, Matthew's offhanded complement made his stomach squirm with butterflies, only for him to mentally chastise himself.  
  
 _Dammit, Dom! He's married, he has kids, kids that are around you now! You can't get like this, sheesh. Come on, Dom!_  
  
But when the woman returned with their orders and eventually gave up on waiting for Dom to say anything to her, and Sammy ran up to claim her chips, he couldn't help but feel that now steadily growing warmth inside him. Matthew's display as a father strangely only added fuel to the fire. How could he be so sweet?  
  
"What do you mean you won't give me a chip, hmm? Don't you love me, Sammy?" Matthew pouted at the little girl as she shook her head with a big smile on her face and continued to shove ketchup-slathered chips into her mouth. “What if I say _please?_ ” he continued to play with her and Dom had to shake his head, taking in Sam's ketchup-covered fingers and mouth, cringing slightly at the thought of eating anything right now when faced with that, so he just sat back and sipped at his beer.  
  
Eventually, of course, the little girl gave in, something Dom was sure pretty much everyone when faced with Matthew's pout did. "Okay, say 'ahh' for the choo-choo!" she grinned, treating Matthew like she did her toys, learnt from the way she'd seen him feed her little brother.  
  
Laughing, Matthew opened his mouth wide for her and did what she asked, "Ahh!"  
  
So, giggling happily, she shoved a whole handful of chips into his waiting mouth, but in the process smeared a good deal of ketchup over his face too, only making her laugh madly, Dom unable to do anything but laugh along loudly too.  
  
The sight of Matthew narrowing his eyes playfully at the two of them, red sauce smeared around his mouth and down his chin, while Elliot giggled in his lap, only made them laugh harder, while Matthew was left to chew his giant mouthful as menacingly as possible.  
  
~  
  
Time passed quickly, filled with lots of laughter from everyone involved and before they realised it, a good three plus hours had gone by and Matthew's phone went off: Leah saying she'd returned home early from work and demanding to know where he and the kids were.  
  
While Dom sat with a sleepy Sammy in his lap, her little fingers playing idly with his own, Elliot long since fast asleep in his pram, he couldn't help but notice how stiff Matthew's posture had become and the fact that his name was never mentioned... but then Dom thought he was perhaps just being silly and that none of it meant anything.  
  
"Ugh, Leah is demanding our presence back home, and it _is_ getting a bit late," Matthew apologised, slipping his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, as he took in the sight of his two exhausted children.  
  
"Yeah, the sun'll be setting shortly, best be home before then," Dom agreed, handing over the light girl, who was well off to dreamland, to her father's waiting arms.  
  
"I feel so bad though, Dom. Sheesh, we were meant to catch up and instead it turned into daycare central, I'm so sorry," Matthew apologised, shifting Sammy into a piggyback position, where she promptly rested her head behind his and closed her eyes, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him like the little monkey he said she was.  
  
"It's okay, you have responsibilities, besides, I actually had a really nice time. You've definitely spawned yourself a nice brood," Dom winked, though deep down his stomach gave a small lurch and was it just his imagination, or did Matthew's answering smile not properly reach his eyes?  
  
"Yeah, I love the beasties, but maybe we can do this properly another time? You know, minus said beasties," Matthew (shyly?) suggested, while Dom watched the other man try and figure out how he was going to push the pram and still hold Sammy on his back.  
  
"Yeah, sure, that could be arranged on my part. And here, I'll push Elliot," Dom offered, batting Matthew away and taking hold of the stroller's handles.  
  
"You sure?" Matthew asked, though neither really knew whether he was asking about pushing the pram or meeting up again.  
  
"Yeah, definitely," Dom nodded, his answer aimed at both instances, as he smiled brightly at the thoughtful-looking brunet, while they headed off to pay, Dom insisting on it being on him and using the fact Matthew had to support his sleeping daughter as an excuse. "You can pay next time."  
  
"Well thank you then, also, um, I'm free on Friday night? If that's good with you, or I could do over the weekend?" Matt asked, not sure why he felt all nervous suddenly, the feeling reminding him eerily of asking someone out on a date, so he felt the need to add. "Um, Leah's taking the kids to see her mum this weekend and, well, let's just say I can't stand the cow, therefore I'm not going, so I have the weekend to myself."  
  
"Oh, uh, yeah, Friday's good?" Dom replied as he followed Matthew into the parking lot, his stomach clenching for some reason too.  
  
 _Relax, Dom, so what if he's child and wifeless for the weekend? It has nothing to do with you goddammit. Control yourself._  
  
"Awesome, how's seven-ish sound?" Matthew asked, unlocking his car and carefully juggling holding up Sammy and opening the back-seat door.  
  
"Perfect," Dom replied, trying his best to control his ridiculous mind which had decided to taunt how it all sounded so much like date plans, as he helped Matthew with the door and the brunet slipped the little girl into the back-seat, before doing up her safety belt.  
  
"One down, one more to go," Matthew sighed, scooping up the sleeping toddler, and walked round to strap him into his baby chair. "You really don't have to wait around, Dom."  
  
"It's fine, I really don't mind," the blond replied, trying to make himself useful by figuring out how to fold up the damn pram. How were these things so complicated?!  
  
"Here, let me," Matthew laughed brushing Dom's hands aside and with practiced ease folded the confounded thing up.  
  
"Wow, since when did you become so efficient?" Dom joked as Matthew – no, _Matt_ , if they were now going to be friends again, he should reacquaint himself with the nickname – stuffed the thing into his boot before closing it.  
  
"Oi, I've always been so!" Matt objected with his trademark pout and Dom burst into giggles.  
  
"Lies, Bellamy, that's definitely not how I remember things!" Dom scoffed shaking his head. "If your head hadn't been attached to you, I'm sure you would've lost it on many occasions!"  
  
"A pack of lies!"  
  
"Called the truth!"  
  
"In your dreams!"  
  
"In yours you mean!"  
  
"Ha! Please, I wasn't the one that used to wake up dry humping the bed!"  
  
"Well at least I wasn't the pervert who used to sit there recording it!" Dom countered, his cheeks still bright pink from the brunet's previous reminder.  
  
"Oh my God, I forgot about that," Matt laughed loudly. "Please tell me you didn't keep them..."  
  
"What, your wannabe-nature-program-presenter videos, proving just how loony you are? Complete with your hushed commentary and all?" Dom asked, a smile on his face but an ache in his heart at the memory of himself locked up in his room and hiding under the covers, while he used to watch and cry along to those damn things on repeat after Matt had left him. "David Attenborough you are not, but I'm sure I have the bloody things lying about somewhere." At the back of his shoe cupboard, along with some of the other trinkets of Matt's that he’d left or that the brunet had given him that he hadn't been able to part with.  
  
"Oh, shit, I don't know who should be more embarrassed by those," Matt laughed, shaking his head in amused embarrassment. "They must be hilariously cringe-worthy to watch."  
  
"I can't even remember them that well, maybe we should watch the fucking things together sometime, if only to then dispose completely of them," Dom laughed, before realising exactly what he'd said and coughed awkwardly as Matt looked down at his shoes and he rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he could take the words back, the whole atmosphere having become uncomfortably thick.  
  
There'd definitely been a good deal of R-rated material on some of those things, and they both knew it.  
  
"Uh, yeah, perhaps," Matt shrugged, thankfully looking back up at Dom. "If, like you said, only to then make sure they never see the light of day."  
  
And just like that the atmosphere was lifted as the two laughed, Dom mainly in relief, though back came that fluttering in his stomach at the idea.  
  
Ugh, hanging out with Matt was very quickly turning into a hazard and it would probably be better for him – for them both – if he were to cancel and just move on.  
  
"So, uh, around seven on Friday night, then?" Matt asked, a strange hitch to his voice, opening the driver's side door.  
  
"Yeah, will definitely be there. Just don't you dare stand me up, mate!" Dom joked, choosing to make light of the fact of what they were both secretly feeling Friday night was.  
  
"I would never dream of it!"  
  
He should cancel it, he should walk away before he was hurt again, but as he waved goodbye to his ex, all Dom felt was that Friday couldn't come soon enough.  
  
  
===  
  
  
Later that evening, after coming home to an annoyed Leah demanding why he'd been out so long, it only got worse over dinner when Sammy wasn't hungry and didn't eat her food.  
  
"Why won't you eat, Samantha? Surely you're not already full, you've barely touched your food," Leah asked the little girl when she just stared at her practically full plate, Elliot having already been tucked in for the night.  
  
"I had chips with Daddy earlier, I'm not hungry," she complained pushing her plate away, while Matt felt his stomach drop when Leah then turned to look at him with an expression that could only be described as 'pissed off' on her face.  
  
 _Oh, here we go..._  
  
"Why did you buy her chips?" she asked, clearly trying to keep her voice even. "You know I want them to eat healthily."  
  
"Well, yeah, but she asked especially and I figured a treat couldn't hurt," Matt defended, feeling his own temper begin to rise. They were his children too, since when did Leah get all the say?  
  
"Oh, real clever, Matthew. Now she's too full of junk food to even eat the healthy supper I slaved away making, well done. Yet, now I get to come across as the bad guy when I don't feed them rubbish all the time like you!"  
  
"What? It was just a treat for God's sake, Leah. I don't do it all the time and no-one's saying that you're the 'bad guy', so you can relax!" Matt shouted straight back, a familiar old argument clearly rearing its ugly head yet again.  
  
"Oh, please, who are you trying to kid? You always take them out and spoil them, so I'm left to do all the sensible, boring things like driving them to school and telling them off. So of course you're the 'cool' parent, while I'm left being the mean one! I also want to sometimes spoil them; do you think I enjoy being strict all the time? I don't, but children need to grow up with some discipline and I'm always left to be the one to do it!" Leah shouted, her frustration evident, as she was tired of always having to do what she saw as the work, while Matt simply got to fool around with the kids.  
  
"Give me a break, woman! Who do you think is always the one on babysitting duty when you have a shoot? No matter what I'm busy with, I always have to drop everything so that you can flounce about snapping pictures of half-naked men and women! You always get to put your work first, so of course the children are going to see me as putting them first! I'm always the one looking after them; they already know my whole staff, having spent countless hours in the office with me, when you were too busy for them!" Matt yelled straight back, and Leah was just about to shout her defence, when Sammy burst into tears, upset by their fighting.  
  
"Oh, great, now look what you've done!"  
  
"Me?! You're the one that started this all!" Matt growled before turning to go crouch in front of the sobbing little girl. "Hey, Sammy, it's okay, there's no need to cry, Monkey," he reassured her, lowering his voice considerably, while he brushed her hair out of her face so that it wouldn't get wet.  
  
"Of course, that's it, go be the one who gets to reassure her. Wouldn't expect anything less," Leah spat, grabbing Sammy's plate and scraping the remaining food into the bin.  
  
"Jesus, Leah, will you give it a rest? We've already upset her, it's got nothing to do with who does what," Matthew replied, doing his best not to shout back like he wanted to. Instead, hands either side of Sammy's face, he brushed her tears away with his thumbs and blocked out Leah's reply as she continued to take off things from the table, her pissed off mood clear in her rough actions. "Why don't we go and brush your teeth and get you ready for bed, hmm?" he asked the little girl when the last of her tears had been brushed away.  
  
She simply nodded in reply and before he could say anything more to Leah, he followed after her. Matt joined in, side-by-side with his daughter and brushed his teeth too, just wanting to calm down and relax himself. He then helped get her dressed into her Pokémon themed pyjamas too, before peeling back her duvet and tucking her in. Samantha never spoke the entire time, despite his best efforts to make her giggle or respond in any way.  
  
Eventually though, he managed to coax her into letting him read her a bedtime story, it was a favourite of hers and she soon fell fast asleep, before it was even finished.  
  
"Sleep tight, Monkey," he whispered and gave her a kiss goodnight, before sneaking out from under her and tucking her up again. "Don't let the bedbugs bite," he added as he put away the copy of _The Gruffalo_ , switched the light off and closed her bedroom door.  
  
With a deep sigh, Matthew went back into the kitchen, where he was not at all surprised to find Leah still waiting for him, everything now cleaned up and a glass of red wine in her hand, as she leaned against the counter.  
  
"What? You want to complain more and have yet another hissy fit for no fucking reason?" Matt growled, in no mood for anymore of her shit.  
  
"Ha! Please, Matthew, if you'd actually grow up for once, we wouldn't be having this bloody argument all the time in the first place!" she shot back as he stood in front of her and snatched the glass of wine from her, before downing the last of it himself. "Oh, nice, way to show your maturity."  
  
"Fuck you, Leah," Matt spat, slamming down the glass on the counter.  
  
"Why don't you?" she countered, pushing him back roughly, but Matt caught her wrists, removing her hands from his chest.  
  
"Maybe I will then," he snarled and shoved her up against the nearby wall, before smothering her mouth with his own and the two began to kiss fiercely, fighting for domination, nipping at each other's lips and snarling as they did.  
  
"You're such an arsehole, Matthew," Leah gasped, as he shoved her skirt up and dragged her knickers down her thighs, her own hands frantically working his belt buckle and then his trousers open.  
  
"And you're a fucking bitch," he retorted, only to break off into a groan as she grabbed hold of his already half-hard cock, before quickly bringing him to full mast.  
  
After that there wasn't much talking, instead he took the lead from there and, while she wrapped her legs around his waist, he found purchase and began to properly pound into her against the wall, her nails dragging his t-shirt up, before he helped her quickly pull it off, over his head and throw it aside.  
  
When he hit her in a specific spot just so, she cried out, only for her eyes to blow wide. "Th-the... children," she gasped while he just continued to thrust up into her.  
  
"A-are asleep," Matt managed to reply though, his hands grasping her arse as he helped keep her up, his mouth then returned to sucking up along her exposed chest, the top buttons of her shirt having been undone at some point.  
  
Satisfied, she shut up and gave in to the almost violent snap of his hips and gasped along with his grunts, both growling and manhandling one another, while he continued to fuck her roughly up against the wall, the pair knocking off a couple framed pictures in the process, neither caring, both lost in the act.  
  
It didn't take long before Leah was brought to climax, their hips moving in perfect tandem and her mouth stealing the last of his air as she joined their lips again in another rough kiss, before he too found his orgasm and came buried deep inside her, both moaning at the heightened sensations and muscle contractions and relaxations fluttering through their orgasming bodies, before they eventually broke apart and collapsed in a heap on the floor.  
  
"Jesus Christ, Matty, I can't even remember the last time you fucked me raw like that," Leah eventually managed, lying with her hair fanned out across the kitchen floor, as she tried to gather the energy to pull her skirt back down.  
  
Matthew didn't say anything though. He just lay on his back panting, the usual release he found when they'd fuck, significantly absent. So what now? After all, that's how they'd always really done things.  
  
Sex.  
  
Sex was always the answer, the thing which they used to sort out their fights and issues. It supposedly brought them closer and made them move past what was troubling or affecting them. After all, post-argument sex was how Elliot had come to be in the first place, after a huge fight nearly two years back about something which neither could probably even remember the topic of, only that that had just happened to be the week when Leah had messed up her pill prescription. Needless to say she hadn't forgotten since.  
  
Instead now, though, Matt was struggling to ignore the foreign sinking feeling he had gathering in his gut. What did it all mean, why wasn't it working now?  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _"On this edition of studying the subject we've come to call Dominic, we look into its strange mannerism of humping the mattress in its sleep, despite the fact that its overly attractive mate offered up his backside only hours ago in a decidedly rough coupling." A voice behind the camera tried to stifle giggles, as the image of a sleeping blond man grinding against the bed he lay in came into view, a slipping sheet the only thing protecting his modestly.  
  
The camera then moved in closer, briefly dipping as the cameraman clearly climbed onto the bed for a better, aerial shot of the obliviously sleeping blond in the dim lighting.  
  
"Granted, it is not too common a sight to see of the creature, as it is a result of increased levels of its sexual drive, the horniness due to no doubt being in heat," at this the cameraman let slip a high-pitched giggle, the camera shaking with his laughter and subsequently waking his 'subject'.  
  
The blond's grey eyes quickly snapped open as the other man's manic laugh could still be heard, and narrowed, taking in the camera before glaring up to a point behind it.  
  
"The fuck, Matt?! What are you doing, you know I've got an interview in the morning, I can't deal with your nocturnal madness!" he demanded, the man off camera spluttering as he attempted to recover from his giggle fit.  
  
"Aww, God, Dom, but you're the one that woke me! You were shagging the bed in your sleep again! I just had to get it on film to show you!" he laughed, the blond's eyes narrowing as he tried to keep serious, while he sat up in bed.  
  
"Shit, please tell me it wasn't another 'nature mockumentary'. That's so embarrassing," the blond groaned, dragging a hand over his face, his golden bed-head framing it. "You better delete it, here," he commanded reaching towards the camera, which was suddenly whipped backwards, the other man having none of it.  
  
"No ways, this is gold!" he cried, breaking into crazy laughter again.  
  
"Why you little twerp!" the blond yelled and, before the other man could make an escape with the camera, rushed him.  
  
"AHHHH, DOM!!" he yelled in fright as the camera jerked back, its operator under attack.  
  
Then the camera's image blurred as it was thrown aside, a high pitched squeal coming from its ex handler, as it landed on its side, the tipped view of an open cupboard door and the corner of the bed all in its vantage when the footage eventually managed to settle. Frantic laughter and squealing could be heard though, coming from up on the bed, before a thud sounded and the top of a mop of purple hair came into its sideways view.  
  
"You're such a cheeky little devil!" growled the man who'd been sleeping, before more purple hair came into view, the other man attempting to crawl backwards for escape, so that his profile and then pale, bare chest could be seen too, only for him to collapse once more on the ground with a loud "Oof!” as the blond came into view again too, his head and torso visible, hovering above the young man beneath him.  
  
"Yet you love it!" the purple-haired man countered, reaching up to pull the blond down on him completely, their mouths quickly finding one another and uniting in a deep, noisy exchange.  
  
"Is that so?" the blond managed to ask eventually, pulling away as they gasped for air. "Then why don't you show me?"  
  
"Why don't you sit your pretty, little arse on my cock then and I will!" the other man shot right back, one of his hands reaching up to fist into the blond's short hair above him, so that he could lock their lips together again.  
  
After that there was shuffling off camera, before the blond pulled away to gasp, the smaller man throwing his head back against the floor. Moaning and panting then became the only noise, aside from sloppy snogging from the two as a distinct rhythm was established between them, blond hair falling over the one's eyes as he moved above the man beneath him, rocking them both.  
  
"W-wa-wait, the c-camera," he suddenly managed, breaking away from the purple-haired man.  
  
"Y-yeah, so?" was the clearly less than satisfactory response he received.  
  
"It-it's still r-recording... I-I can see the red... red light flashing at me!" the blond pointed out, his gaze now directed straight at the camera, which lay only a little way away from their coupling.  
  
"S-so what?"  
  
"Ugh, Matt!" The blond then scrambled a bit, trying to reach for something above the other man's head which was off camera, his contrasting skin covering most of the paler man beneath him in the process.  
  
"Oi, watch it, Dom! My cock's still attached to me too!" came a muffled yelp, before the blond's face came back into the picture, only for him to throw a flutter of colour belonging to a red shirt, which hit its target, blacking out the camera's feed and sound._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next update, trying to post every Friday. Hope you enjoy <3

_"And what have you got there?" a voice asked from behind the camera, as it moved towards a slight man with bright purple hair, who was wearing a faded old Queen t-shirt and track pants. He was reading what appeared to be a letter, curled up on a well-worn sofa. "And why have you stolen my tee again? I never get to wear it 'cause you always do, and then it's in the wash when I want to!"  
  
"_I _am busy reading a letter and, as for your ridiculously gay tee, well... if you must know, it always smells of you," the man on film replied, his cheeks tinting a light pink, looking up for the first time after he'd finished only to realise he was being recorded. "Fuck, Dom!"  
  
"Naww, now I have your little confession on tape!" the cameraman cackled gleefully, earning him a wicked glare from the other man who'd put aside the letter he'd been holding.  
  
"Ugh, Dom," the man with purple hair whined. "Why are you filming me reading and lazing about anyway? That's so _boring _."  
  
"Exactly why I'm filming it, it's cute how cozy and domestic the whole scene is. I mean, what else would I rather record than just _this? _Sure I could film something more silly, or one of your stupid mockumentaries, but just the fact that my boyfriend finally agreed to move in, is all I need to film," the man off camera gushed, making a distinctly pinker blush appear on the man on film's face. "See, now I have a painfully cheesy confession on here too. We're even."  
  
"You're such a sap, Dom," the skinny man laughed shaking his head, but moved up on the couch a bit as the camera got closer, before it dropped lower, now level with the man on film as the cameraman presumably sat down too.  
  
"Says the man who wears tees – which he distinctly calls 'gay' – so that he can be surrounded by his boyfriend's scent. Please, Bells."  
  
"Whatever," the purple-haired man dismissed, pulling his tongue at the person behind the camera. "Just so you know, I'm deleting all this footage when you sleep."  
  
"Like hell you will!" the cameraman laughed, the feed bouncing up and down with his laughter. "Anyways, since when do you read the mail? It's usually only bills..."  
  
"Since I got a response to my own letter, requesting the contact details of the people who gave me up for adoption twenty-four odd years ago," came his response and he shrugged, clearly trying to play down the importance this piece of information carried.  
  
Despite this, the camera then moved away and was placed on a surface opposite the couch with a light _clank _. The sight of the man's tracksuit bottoms and mismatched sock-clad feet, his pale hands resting in his lap, joined by that of the previous camera holder's bare feet and what appeared to be slim, yellow skinny jean covered legs, now appeared on film.  
  
"Seriously, Matt? They managed to get hold of your birth parents?"  
  
"Yeah, they, um, did. Apparently it wasn't even too hard for them to do it," came the first man's rushed speech, his long fingers knotting in the, now just visible, hem of his black tee.  
  
"Shit, that's great news, Matt!" the other man gushed, his yellow legs shifting closer to kneel in front of his counterpart on the couch, tanned hands coming into view to rest on the smaller man's thighs. "So, what are you gonna do with the details? Do you wanna meet them?"  
  
"Uh, I don't know... It's crazy, I've spent my whole life growing up and not even knowing who they were... Anna was all I ever needed, but several months ago... after, you know, she... died," came back a softer reply, his voice breaking slightly, the whites of the bones in his long fingers' knuckles showing as they tangled tighter in the black cloth. "I just got thinking that I didn't have to really be alone – I still do have family. Actual blood relatives at that."  
  
"Matthew," the other man's voice came across just as sad, as he shuffled even closer, his hands reaching out to cover the paler of the pair's straining hands, gripping them in his own. "I'm still so sorry about Anna. For the short while I had the privilege to know her, it was impossible not to gravitate to the infectious love and kindness she just seemed to radiate. It's such a pity that you had to say goodbye to her, but I want you to – no, _need _you to – know just how much I truly love you, and although I'm not her or some blood relative; I *am* your family, at least I see myself as such. So whether or not you do decide to meet these people, please remember that you're never alone. I'm always here for you, and I always will be."  
  
"Always?" came a slightly lighter response, the man now holding his boyfriend's hands back.  
  
"Always."_  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
Dominic arrived slightly later than he'd intended having spent hours picking out the perfect outfit to wear, as stupid as it felt he still wanted to look good, even though the dinner they'd set reservations for via texts was not a date.  
  
It wasn't, and he needed to remind himself of that key fact, he thought.  
  
 _Dom, this isn't a date. Control yourself._  
  
Even as he thought it, though, he subconsciously straightened out his favourite tee, the one with the graphic leopards on, and shrugged his leather jacket nervously, before stepping into the trendy little restaurant with a deep breath.  
  
It was like his eyes automatically gravitated toward where Matthew sat, tucked away in a private corner, his hands fidgeting away with the table settings. He never was able to sit still, Dom thought with a sad smile as he made his way over, one last comb of his fingers through his stylish blond hair, as he showed the hostess he already had a table.  
  
"Hey," he greeted, Matt instantly sitting up straighter and spinning to beam up at Dom. "Sorry I'm a little late," the blond apologised sheepishly.  
  
"Dom! Don't worry about it," he grinned, that skew tooth of his flashing at Dominic. "I already ordered drinks; you still like JD and Coke, right? If not, I can always get you something else?" he asked, his speech rushed as he hurriedly indicated the drink in front of the seat opposite him while he stood up.  
  
"Um, yeah, I do," he smiled, relieved to see the telltale signs he still remembered Matt had when he was nervous; the faster speed of his speech, added with an increase of his usual awkward hand movements, to name but two. So at least it wasn't just him then. He also couldn't help but feel a warm flutter at the fact that Matt had remembered his favourite drink, even after all this time.  
  
"Oh, cool. Good," Matt smiled, as the two then stood awkwardly looking at each other, not sure whether to shake hands or hug one another hello.  
  
"Uh, yeah, so..." Dom smiled back, reaching out a hand for Matt to shake while the brunet moved forward to give him a hug, only then for their roles to be reversed, Matt sticking out his hand while Dom opened up his arms. Laughing at their silliness, they ended up doing an awkward combination of the two, before they both took their seats.  
  
"Well, that wasn't awkward at all," Matt laughed, trying to break the uncomfortable tension, his hand instinctively reaching for his glass of merlot.  
  
"Oh thank God you thought so too, sheesh. We're just being silly, I mean, we've seen each other twice already in just as many weeks!" Dom agreed joining in laughing at the awkward start to the evening.  
  
"Perhaps it's just 'cause this is the first time that we're actually all alone together..." Matt suggested, taking a sip from his glass, the blond doing his best not to stare at the way his small, pink lips wrapped around the thin rim of the glass.  
  
"Uh, yeah... the 'giant elephant in the room' so to speak, can now properly descend on us," Dom agreed, reaching for his own drink now, too.  
  
"Exactly, the question now being to tackle it now or later?" the brunet asked, before subconsciously bringing his glass back to his lips as the blond took the first sip of his own drink.  
  
"Well, I always find that issues are easier to tackle after one's stomach has been filled," Dom suggested, his perfect smile making its second, blinding appearance of the evening. Matt just nodded in agreement, so the two slowly began to ease into a comfortable chat about nothing too earth shattering, while they perused the menu and debated on what order they should place and which meal sounded the best.  
  
~  
  
"So, how did you and, er, Leah meet anyway?" Dom asked after some time, while he cut off another bite of his fillet. It seemed like the natural question one would ask someone who'd gotten married since they'd previously known one another. Well that and Dominic was actually rather curious to know the answer, while still trying to hold up the pretence that the whole thing didn't bother him in the slightest.  
  
Friends. That was the best he could hope for, and friends were pleased for friends who'd gotten married and found that 'special someone'. Even if they'd always thought that they'd be one another's special someone.  
  
"Er, well," Matthew began, looking up from the steaming pasta he'd been swirling around his fork. "We, uh, we met at a shoot she was doing for one of my clients in their house, which I'd designed," he shrugged. "Hit it off pretty soon, although to say it started off as a bit of a storm would be an understatement. To be honest I was actually thinking of calling the whole thing off, only then for her to discover she was, uh, pregnant.  
  
“Needless to say the rest is history and we had a bit of a shotgun wedding just as she was beginning to show; she has a pretty traditional, Christian-based family, so it was quite the scandal actually," Matt laughed dryly, before he brought the pasta-covered fork to his mouth.  
  
Dominic just watched silently as Matt chewed his mouthful and swallowed, his own meal temporarily forgotten.  
  
"Shit, I don't even know why I told you about me wanting to ditch Leah and only marrying her 'cause I knocked her up..." Matt suddenly added, replaying his words in his mind. "Don't get me wrong, I love her – I really do – and heck, it clearly isn't too bad seeing as we've been married for over six years now and have had another kid in the meantime too."  
  
"It's alright, no need to defend yourself," Dom said, offering him a smile. Though he couldn't help but let the circumstances that prompted Matt to settle down invoke a strange sort of upliftment inside himself. Of course he naturally killed it quickly, the spitefulness not like him at all. "Hey, at least now it makes sense why you and her mum don't get along," he offered, trying to return his attention to his food.  
  
"Indeed, I'll always be the bastard that stole her sweet little angel's innocence – but let me assure you though, she was already no such thing when I found her – plus the whole hardcore Christian shit gets to me too much too," Matt elaborated, before taking another large bite of his stringy food. "Hypocritical bullshit."  
  
"Ah-huh," was Dom's softer reply. As pleased as he was with the way Matt easily managed to open up to him still, Leah's less than angelic state was the last thing he wished to hear about. Before he continued, he took another sip of his umpteenth drink of the night, the two both being quite lenient with their alcohol consumption for the evening. "So, er, what does your... _father_ think of her then?"  
  
At the question Matt's posture noticeably stiffened and he reached for his own glass to take a rather generous drink. The deciding switch in the conversation they had both been dreading and yet knowing they still had to make, had finally been broached.  
  
"Uh, he, um, well, he liked her. Obviously. She's a bright, bubbly girl with the looks to back up all the attitude she undoubtedly has. Not to mention the fact she comes from a ‘good, Christian household’. He was always going to like her," Matt eventually answered, his concentration decidedly focused on his almost empty plate.  
  
"Of course, and I’m sure the fact that Leah's a woman didn’t hurt either," Dom couldn't help mutter, part of him actually pleased by the way Matt squirmed in his peripheral at the words.  
  
"Well, yeah," was Matt's soft response. "Though the irrelevance to whatever his opinion is, is even more insignificant now."  
  
At this, despite wanting to attempt to keep the pleasantness of their evening, Dom couldn't help but look up at the other man with a sceptically raised eyebrow. "Since when was what he thought irrelevant to you before, let alone more so now a days?"  
  
The blond's sneer got to Matthew, although he understood where the venom was coming from, it would be stupid to continue thinking the past's wounds were all forgotten and forgiven.  
  
"He died two years ago, if you must know," he replied, his plate now empty as he pushed it a bit forward.  
  
"Well, I can't really say I'm too sorry for the loss." The tally of drinks had of course taken hold of both men, enabling Dominic to say certain things he normally wouldn't. Honesty is found at the hands of a drunkard as they say after all.  
  
Matthew glared back daggers, desperate to defend the man he knew deep down, despite all his positive attributes, had an inability for tolerance towards certain things, namely the act of homosexuality.  
  
"Don't you even try justify what he did, what _you_ let him do, and then now tell me his opinion means so little to you, even before the bigot's death," Dominic said, not wanting to give the other man a chance to respond. Yes, the conversation was definitely heading in that direction now and it had to be had.  
  
"Dominic," Matthew started, fingers fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth as he stared straight back into stormy grey eyes. "You've got to understand, I was young and desperate for the stability of knowing my parents and for their acceptance. Looking back, I know what I did was horribly stupid not to mention completely selfish, but after having grown up without all that, surely you can understand how and why I did what I did–"  
  
"What, leaving me – leaving someone who was willing to give you all the love they had to offer – for virtual strangers, whose only claim was that they were related to you? People who'd abandoned you before? You just simply tossed me, someone you’d claimed to love, aside for people who you didn't even really know. So don't you dare now say that his views didn't mean anything to you, because they were enough for you to abandon everything we had. At least everything I thought we did." Dom was seething, everything he'd locked up and away for the past decade bubbling up to the surface as he glared down the brunet across the table from him. "Obviously all I had to offer just wasn't enough."  
  
"Dominic," Matt began, the blond's words reflecting all the hurt he clearly still felt inside.  
  
"No, Matthew, don't. It's just the truth, what I was giving obviously wasn't enough or what you needed; otherwise you never would have left me. Regardless of what _his_ opinion was," Dom stopped him, his hand held up, to show that that was just how things were.  
  
"But–"  
  
"Matthew."  
  
"Fine, but I did love you. I meant it when I said it. I don't want you thinking it was an easy choice to make, you were my first real love and it killed me to choose..."  
  
"I know you did," the blond sighed sadly, reaching his hand across the table to offer Matt's white-knuckled grip on his glass a comforting squeeze, before quickly drawing his hand back. "But you did choose, and that's alright. We're all free to make whatever decisions we see fit. I was just upset for a long time that I wasn't the one who won your final vote."  
  
After that the conversation took a significant dive, their drinking increasing further, as they attempted to rekindled whatever chance for conversation there was left, now that what needed to be said had been. So it was eventually with a rather tipsy drawl that Matthew insisted upon paying the bill, assuring the blond that it was the least he could do, especially after Dominic had picked up their last tab.  
  
It was when they'd left the warmth of the restaurant, both hanging about as neither wished to leave things off the way they had become, that Matthew finally chose to speak up again.  
  
"I can't say I regret everything, because if all of that had never happened I wouldn't have Sammy and Elliot, but I regret _how_ it happened. I'm so sorry, Dominic, I honestly am. What I did was awful and now just going on, expecting you to act like nothing happened is completely insensitive and foolish," he said, looking up the few inches that separated the pair as they took a walk around the block, both hoping it would help sober them up, as well as provide some extra time to mend things a bit. "I don't want us to end things unpleasantly. In fact, now that we've met again, I don't want to lose contact with you...  
  
"Look, I know it may seem a bit audacious of me, but I really do like you, Dominic, and I would love to have you as a friend again. Though, this time the choice is yours, I will understand of course, if you'd rather see me out of your life once more."  
  
Despite his best efforts at concealing it, even Dom in his own state of pleasant drunkenness could tell that Matt had already had probably quite a bit too much. Aside from the brunet's worsened speech impediment, he was already beginning to stumble quite a bit, yet the way he was looking at Dominic as he expressed his desire to remain friends, had revealed easily enough to be those of genuine truth and... longing. Longing for some semblance of even a fraction of the friendship they had once shared. After all that was how everything had begun in the first place. Friendship.  
  
He didn't know what made him say it or do it, perhaps he too really had had far too much to drink for his own good, because he knew Matt's situation, yet instead of admitting to the truth – that it would be far too painful in the very least to be only friends with the other man – he nodded and grinned.  
  
"Of course, Bells. Of course I'd choose to be friends, I've always loved spending time with you," Dom smiled, Matt's responsive grin of sheer joy and gratitude, nearly enough to break him further.  
  
"Seriously? You really can put the past behind us?"  
  
With big, dopey, puppy-blue eyes and that hopeful, snaggletoothed smile, how could Dominic do anything but agree?  
  
"Like I said: of course," he repeated again, aiming for a nonchalant shrug, but he wasn't fooling a soul, and when Matt instantly yanked him into a bone-crushing hug, the furious blush that took hold of his face in response, spoke volumes of how he really felt. Plus Matt's still undeniably magnificent scent, mere inches from him?  
  
The poor blond had never stood a chance, which is probably why, before he even knew what was what, he was agreeing to continue their evening at a bar not too far down the road.  
  
~  
  
"Okay, I think we've had mor–" _hiccup_ "–more than... enough," Dominic giggled, trying to lead Matthew down the pavement side skirting the large park's boundaries, without crashing into other people passing by.  
  
"Agreed," Matt grinned back, leaning heavily into the blond. "Carry me?"  
  
"Are you mad? You're not as light-looking as you used to be!" Dom laughed, Matt's pleading puppy-like pout instantly fading to be replaced by a joking scowl.  
  
"Rude," he muttered, pushing away from the blond and in the process nearly landing flat on his face.  
  
" _Maaatt!_ Watch out, you drunken fool!" Dom laughed, grabbing his ex by the arm to lead him out of the way of some other people walking past.  
  
"I'm alright! I'm alright! Sheesh, relax, Dommeh," he smiled rolling his eyes. "So, do tell me you live nearby then? Else I'm gonna turn and leave you, I know I said I'd walk you home but... ugh."  
  
"Lazy!" Dom laughed, playfully pushing the cackling brunet. "And I live right... here!"  
  
The pair stopped in front of a rather upscale looking apartment block, which overlooked the sprawling green park.  
  
" _You_ live _here?_ Whoa, nice, Dom!" Matt exclaimed taking in the smart, modern architecture and the place's situation. "Must cost you a killing though to live here. Jesus, you sure you're not just too drunk and mistaking this for your home?"  
  
"My, clearly we still get all rude and sassy when pissed up!" Dom laughed, giving Matt another playful shove, the temptation to touch the brunet constantly at the back of his mind. The smaller man seemed completely oblivious of the blond's increased physical actions towards him though, and instead found himself victim to near constant giggle fits. He'd completely forgotten what it was like to get drunk just for the fun of it with an old friend.  
  
Back in the day of course, he and the blond would do it every other night, hitting the town with a group of their mates and just go mad. Now a days though, he only seemed to get drunk alone, on nights when he'd put the kids to bed and Leah was away on some or other shoot, leaving him with just the liquor cabinet for company. Sure he had other friends, friends from work like Alistair, Morgan and Glen and the rest, and sometimes they'd go out, but it was never the same. Not like this at least.  
  
"Oi, what've you gotten all serious about?" Dominic suddenly asked, breaking through Matt's mind's fuzzy ponderings. "Sad to say goodbye, eh?"  
  
"You wish, blondie!" Matt chuckled, shaking his head as if to try help with the silly giddiness he could still feel bubbling inside of himself. "Just tryina figure out how the fuck you managed to buy a place here!"  
  
"Why through hard work and perseverance of course!" Dom laughed, the two now having come to a stop outside the front entrance. "Don't suppose you want to see what my flat looks like on the inside then, or would that be too awkward?"  
  
For some reason, Matt could feel his cheeks flushing for a different reason other than his generous alcohol consumption at this, his hands fiddling with the zipper of his leather jacket.  
  
Why would it be awkward? Dom and him were just friends, surely there would be nothing strange about the blond giving him a little tour of his fancy abode? So then why did he feel like this? All... fluttery and flushed?  
  
"Earth to Matt! You in there, Bells?" Dom asked, snapping Matt out of more of his mental analysing. That was the thing with Matt that Dom remembered, he always thought through everything too critically, that's why they'd been good together. When they were together Matt used to actually let loose and just live, while also actually helping to ground Dom a bit in the process too. Clearly, though, Leah seemed to be having the opposite effect on the slight brunet.  
  
"Er, yeah. Yeah, 'course 'm still here, Dom," he grinned back, actually looking up at the other man this time.  
  
"So, uh, tour? You want?" Dom tried again, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling completely uncomfortable all of a sudden. Yeah, this was definitely awkward. Why did he have to be so damn adamant on wanting to give his ex a fucking tour of his damn poncy flat?  
  
When Matt made a show of considering his options, though, even going so far as to scratch his head 'thoughtfully' and gaze upwards, before Dom's frown increased and the brunet was once more turned into a heap of spluttering cackles, Dominic didn't need any further explanation.  
  
"Come on, you," he rolled his eyes playfully and dragged Matt through the front doors before heading over to the elevators. "I'm on the fourth floor, it has an amazing view really."  
  
"Ooh, does it now, eh?" Matt laughed following the blond into the lift, his walking definitely not having stabilised very well yet, and his mind still pleasantly fuzzy enough not to properly consider what he was doing.  
  
"Shut up, Bells, you're not funny, ya know?" Dom said, giggling nonetheless, as Matt made a big show of being offended by the blond's words.  
  
When they made it to Dom's floor, the blond opening the door and proudly leading the way in, Matt's drunken wittiness was temporarily left out in the hallway.  
  
"Shit, Dom. This place is fucking well proper! Jesus," the brunet exclaimed, trying to take in all the modern furnishings, tasteful artwork on the walls, the magnificent night-time view outside the large windows, the sound system he could see wired throughout the place, Dom's high-tech entertainment centre... Everything, everything was just so... so _Dom_ and so perfect. The prize of all bachelor pads by far, the brunet even going so far as to declare it loudly, while he stumbled about like a kid in Disneyland for the first time.  
  
"Uh, yeah, it's not bad," Dom grinned, feeling a mix between pride and embarrassment.  
  
"Not bad? Not bad?! Jesus, Dommeh, let's not be modest now, you certainly never were in the past!" Matt joked, slipping around the corner to investigate further, his manners having slightly gone out the window what with his blood alcohol levels. "Fuck, and this bedroom!"  
  
Blushing still, Dom followed after his excitable ex, and into the rather large master bedroom. "What do you mean I wasn't modest though?" he couldn't help asking, just as Matt ran and flopped onto his king sized monster of a bed, his slight body bouncing with the impact.  
  
"What I said; you were always a right vain twat!" Matt laughed loudly, making Dom frown with mock hurt and anger.  
  
"Well excuse you, I can't help it that I like to work what God gave me!" Dom defended himself, though was unable to hold back the smile on his face as he watched Matt continue to bounce playfully on the bed.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose he was bloody generous with you, wasn't he? You smarmy bastard!" At this Dom found himself laughing as he approached the bobbing brunet, who then stopped to instead gaze up properly at him.  
  
"And it seems you're just getting better as time goes on..." Matt said, his voice suddenly sounding far more serious even in his tipsy state. His eyes also then seemed to betray him, as the blue depths dragged slowly over the blond, who'd stopped at the foot of the bed in front of him.  
  
"Are you mad? I have lines on my face already!" Dom protested, sitting down far more gracefully on the white feather duvet. "Yet your skin is still as perfect as it ever was!"  
  
At his response, the brunet burst into disbelieving laughter. "Ugh, my skin is definitely not perfect – I still get zits! For Christ's sake, I'm in my thirties now! And anyway, Dommeh, those are laugh lines," at this Matt grinned up at his one-time friend and lover, not thinking as he lifted a finger to trace the faint lines in the corner of Dom's eye, almost in a caress. "If anything, I think they make you look even sexier. And it's not like you ever needed any help. You're fucking gorgeous, and you always have been."  
  
The words were out of his mouth even before he'd thought them through – a typical trait of his – but their effect was stupendous nonetheless, if not even more so. The mood suddenly switched and Matt felt his skin heating a bit in a blush, as he immediately withdrew his hand, his alcohol consumption noticeably not enough to rescue him completely free of his inhibitions.  
  
The air felt thick and uncomfortable all of a sudden, both men flushing with colour and feeling a strange rush. Especially Dominic, the skin Matt's fingers had brushed now tingling at the memory.  
  
His mind was a hive of activity suddenly, unable to focus on anything specific and sending him for a spin as all he could do was stare back into those impossibly azure-coloured eyes, whatever lay behind them completely unreadable to the blond. His heart's thumping seemed to have intensified to the point where he could feel its thudding in his ears, as he swallowed subconsciously, his left hand going up to rub the back of his neck.  
  
"Uh, you really think so, still?"  
  
Still somewhat puzzled by how the simple choice of words had seemed to breach something unspoken between them, and shocked at the way they'd just sprung forth, Matt just nodded awkwardly. It was the truth after all. How could he possibly deny the fact that he still found Dominic to be sexy. If anything he really was even more so now than he had ever been, especially in that moment, only a few inches away. His golden-blond hair was glinting under the lights and his grey eyes, still impossibly large and warm, despite the confusion and equal shock that was clear in them.  
  
"Of course." The words were barely breathed as a whisper, Matthew suddenly aware of just exactly how he felt about them. He knew he had no right to say it. That he shouldn't. He couldn't. That it should be wrong. But for some reason, deep inside himself, it didn't feel wrong. It actually felt good to say it. In fact he couldn't stop himself. "I mean, look at you, Dom. You're like a fucking sex god. Way to make a man feel self-conscious and inadequate," he continued, laughing lightly in the hope of lifting the tense atmosphere his words had brought. Words he suddenly seemed unable to hold back.  
  
Still rather stunned, a long almost forgotten warmth spreading up his spine, Dom looked back at his ex, unable to hide the shock or blush that had worked their way on his face. His eyes took in the way Matthew's knuckles had gone white, as his fingers knotted up in the hem of his t-shirt – a nervous habit of Matt's he'd once known well – and the way his blue eyes seemed incapable of looking back up into his own grey ones. Even though Matt was clearly trying to play down the importance of his words, Dom knew him too well – even after all this time – to take the compliment for granted.  
  
Could it really be possible that Matt still felt something for him, despite everything? There really was only one way to tell.  
  
"Matt..."  
  
"Uh, yeah?" At this the brunet's stunning blue eyes flicked up to look at the blond quickly, as he tried to grin and shrug indifferently, doing his best to feign nonchalance. Torn between wishing he could go back a few minutes and stop himself from saying any of it at all, and wishing he could say even more.  
  
"Look at me," Dom asked gently, surprising himself by actually reaching out to lift Matt's head up by his chin, so that they were left only to stare into one another's eyes. The contact sent a buzz through both men.  
  
"Ah-huh," was Matt's attempt at a verbal response, what he saw in the other man's eyes rendering him wholly captive.  
  
"I'm going to kiss you." His brashness surprising and shocking even himself, Dom knew he had to follow through immediately, before his senses finally took hold and he could stop himself from doing one of the most reckless things he'd ever done. Something even his, now slight, tipsiness couldn't even excuse.  
  
He had no idea why he'd said the words and not just gone ahead and done the action straight away, but part of him deep down, wanted to be sure it filtered through to Matt that, whatever was happening now, wasn't simply because Dominic had had too much to drink. But that what he was about to do, had involved at least a moment's thought. That it meant something.  
  
At least to Dominic.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _"Shit, you were serious?" The camera was focused on the back of a skinny man as he bent over a bathtub, running the nozzle's spray over his head.  
  
"Ah-huh, I don't joke around, surely you knew it was only a matter of time?" came a reply from him, as he turned the tap off, greeny-blue water swirling down the drain.  
  
"Suppose... Aww, and I was really beginning to love the green hue," the man off camera playfully complained.  
  
At this the man on camera turned around to face it for the first time, having done his best to squeeze as much water out of his hair as possible. "Oi, Big Brother! You could at least give me a bit of warning before you spring that camera on me!"  
  
Giggling could be heard from the cameraman, before a hand reached out from behind the camera to squeeze the annoyed looking man on camera's chin, shaking his head playfully before he rolled his eyes and joined in laughing.  
  
"But seriously," he continued. "Warning, eh? Wanna look my best if these things are for prosperity and all."  
  
"Aww, but you look good now, hair dye all over your shirt and all!"  
  
"Seriously?! Fuck!" At this the camera followed the man as he went to check if the cameraman's words were true, and went over to the large mirror above the sink. "Oh for fuck's sake, I really like this shirt too!"  
  
The camera's new placement could now show the reflection in the mirror, over the shoulder of the man who'd just dyed his hair, his once butternut yellow shirt now sporting turquoise stains on the shoulder in view. In the mirror the stains on the front of his shirt could also be seen better on his reflection, the hair on his head a water-darkened shade of them. The cameraman could now also be seen in the mirror's surface; a blond man, with smiling eyes and a large, white grin on his face as he held the old camcorder, laughing at the other man's annoyance.  
  
"It's not funny, Dom. This shit won't wash out!" the slightly smaller man pouted at the blond's reflection.  
  
"Aww, Matty, it's just a shirt, plus it clashed so badly with your green hair. It's also not much better with this new turquoise shade either. Trust me, it's a blessing in disguise," the blond pointed out, but then switched the camera to his right hand so that he could wrap his left arm around his upset boyfriend.  
  
"Piss off, like your fashion sense is anything to rave about either. You're wearing shiny track pants for Christ's sake!" the smaller man grumbled, trying to push the blond off him, but to no avail, as the hold on him just tightened and he was pulled closer. "Plus I can't believe you're still filming this... Special, that's what you are, Dom. Special."  
  
"Excuse you, I have fabulous fashion sense... Anyway, what I lack in it, I make up for in looks. Fucking gorgeous I am. So damn straight I'm special!" the blond declared, rising in height as he reached up to rest his chin on the other man's head.  
  
"Lucky for you, your looks make up for your lack of brains too, you moron, you're gonna have dye all over your face now!" the smaller man shot back, a haughty smirk firmly in place as the blond finally let him go to look at his reflection.  
  
"Fucking hell, this is gonna take forever to wash off!" he moaned, sticking his chin out to look at the large turquoise marks running up it and to his cheek.  
  
"Like I said: special," the skinny man cackled, only for the blond to dump the camera on something behind them, leaving only the back of their shoulders and up visible on the feed from its new position, as well as the reflection of their fronts in the mirror.  
  
"Cheeky little sod!"  
  
"Ooh, getting all biblical with me, are you now?" the smaller man continued to laugh, encouraging the blond to shake his head before grabbing him and pulling him into a fierce kiss.  
  
"Maybe... but I'm sure as fuck gonna wipe that smirk off your face, Matthew!"  
  
"Oh, really, _Dominic _," he continued to be teasing, prompting his boyfriend to grab him again and kiss him harder.  
  
The two seemed to lose themselves, noisily attempting to steal one another's breath, moaning into each other's mouths, biting and sucking on tongues and lips, before, forgetting about the camera, the blond shoved the other man towards its direction and into it, effectively knocking it off its perch.  
  
The footage briefly blurred, the camera desperate to focus and steady its picture quality, as it fell, before there was a crackle and the feed died._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next part! Things escalate...

  
_Sluggishly the footage of a pair of crossed legs in black jeans came into view. "It lives! It lives! Check, Dommeh! Tom fixed the camcorder!"  
  
The camera's feed then went blurry as it was quickly turned around, to focus up at a grinning man with a skew front tooth and a spiky mop of messy, faded turquoise-coloured hair, who was looking down at the lens.  
  
"He did?" came the voice of another man somewhere off film. "I shudder to wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing..."  
  
At this the man on film burst into loud laughter, no longer looking down at the camera, which now had a view of his chest, throat and chin, as he looked somewhere else ahead of him. "Well I think it could potentially be brilliant, I mean we have yet to use it to its full potential."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Definitely," the turquoise-haired man grinned, as a blond man came into view, leaning over the other man and the camera and looking down at it.  
  
"Hmm, why am I worried by the tone of your voice..." the blond asked, getting closer to the camera as he sat down opposite the other man. The footage now showed a bottom view of both men's faces, mere inches apart.  
  
"'Cause you're a wet blanket, Dommeh. I love you, but sheesh, sometimes ya gotta learn to just step out of your comfort zone for a change and go for what you want!" the turquoise-haired man said, before the camera was lifted and pointed solely at the blond.  
  
The blond just narrowed his eyes and looked back into the camera sceptically. "You're just trying to convince me again to make sex tapes with you, aren't you, Matthew Bellamy?"  
  
"Well, it doesn't hurt to try, plus I know you're just dying to–" came back the start of the cameraman's reply, before the blond reached out a hand and made a grab for the camcorder.  
  
"Give that here, Matt. I'm not having this conversation on tape," the blond's voice could be heard amongst the noise of them scuffling, battling limbs all that came into view.  
  
"Ha, you just don't want proof of the fact that you're a pussy!" the first man argued, the battle for control of the camera still going on, amongst the sounds of grunts and shoving and pulling.  
  
"Oh, please, Matt! It's because I didn't become a porn star for a reason!" with this the second man clearly won, as it was the sulking face of the turquoise-haired man that came into view at last. "And enough of this."  
  
"Dom! Come on, don't be–" The man on film's words were cut off though as the camera and feed went dead, the blond having turned the camcorder off at last._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _"I'm going to kiss you."_  
  
Dominic was looking for a response from the brunet, expecting to be shoved away or for Matthew to kick off, but instead his blue eyes only seemed to widen and his prominent Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Otherwise he made no move of pulling away, his chin still trapped between the blond's forefinger and thumb.  
  
So, before his body finally gave into his brain – which was screaming at him to stop and see reason – Dominic leaned forward and lightly, but squarely, placed a long kiss to Matthew's thin lips.  
  
When the brunet didn't reciprocate, but instead just remained tense and dead still, Dom felt his heart ache and sink, a shadow of the pain he'd felt in the past when Matt had left him, resurfacing. That memory of feeling unlovable, unwanted, undesirable and discarded, slowly reemerging and stealing his breath as he quickly pulled away. He could feel the old scars which had taken years to mend and patch, starting to tear and rip open his heart and soul again.  
  
Shame. It was washing over him. Drowning him.  
  
He shouldn't have done it, why had he done it? Of course Matt wasn't going to respond. What had he been expecting? For the brunet to passionately kiss him back, to forget about his perfect little family, to take the risk and actually – finally – lay himself on the line for Dom?  
  
Dominic would have laughed at his stupidity, if he couldn't already feel the burning wetness of tears starting to fill his eyes and slip down his cheeks. Fuck he was stupid, why had he done it? He'd just gone and hurt himself all over again; ruined what had taken so long to fix. Just because Matt hadn't told him to get fucked when he'd announced he was going to kiss him, didn't mean the brunet was okay with it.  
  
Of course he wasn't. He hadn't been what Matthew had wanted all those years ago, so why and how could he possibly be enough now? The man was married to a – no doubt gorgeous – ex model, who his birth parents had actually been proud of him to choose. A woman who'd been able to give him children.  
  
He had the perfect family now, why would he ever even look at Dominic? He had just tried to be kind, asking Dom to dinner and saying he wanted to keep in touch with him. Of course he knew all along how Dom had felt, he'd always been able to read the blond like a book. Pity, that's why he hadn't shoved Dominic aside and why he now just simply stared back at Dom with the blankest of expressions on his face.  
  
"I-I'm so sorry," Dom finally managed to stutter out as he looked away from those intimidatingly blue eyes, instead choosing to look down at his hands, which were now folded awkwardly in his lap. The sensation of a tear or two rolling across his heated skin, flushed with the undeniable embarrassment he felt, only added to his utter humiliation.  
  
Why had he gone and done it? Everything had been going so well. Why had Matthew said those words? If he hadn't, if he hadn't–  
  
Even as he tried though, Dom couldn't put the blame on Matthew, for he knew it wasn't the brunet who had made him kiss those soft, familiar lips.  
  
But then again, he couldn't help but feel the brunet had also led him on. Sure he shouldn't have kissed him, Matt had a family, but the way he'd been speaking... Could Dom really be blamed? Suddenly he not only felt embarrassed beyond words and his heart breaking, but there was something else boiling up inside of him.  
  
Anger.  
  
He was angry with Matt, for everything, for the past and how he'd been so callous and then with the way he'd managed to weasel his way back into Dom's life (and heart) – unintentionally or not – and also with himself. Definitely with himself. He should have fought harder to keep Matt all those years ago, he should have won over his heart. And then why hadn't he been able to get over Matthew? Sure he'd thought he had, he'd continued on with his life and tried to move on. But he'd always known, despite his constant denial, that there was just no getting over Matthew Bellamy.  
  
His hands forming tight fists, Dominic suddenly saw Matthew move at last. The brunet reached out to the blond, who couldn't help but cower from his touch, fearful of any repercussions. Except though, Matthew surprised them both further, as instead of pushing Dom away and storming out, like the blond and even he himself had expected, he cupped the other man's face and wiped the few tears running down his cheeks away with his thumbs.  
  
And that was all it took, words were no longer necessary. They meant nothing, as grey stared into blue, before suddenly the two were kissing, their fingers lacing and knotting in one another's hair.  
  
This kiss was different from the first, one-sided one. Instead they were both reaching out, all their suppressed feelings finally breaking free fully, as their lips moved together in perfect symmetry, despite the passage of time, both still knowing one another perfectly. The pace wasn't rushed, both men focusing rather on the powerful feelings they were being assaulted with. It was impossible for either to deny that – no matter the circumstances – it felt right. Everything felt so right, as their lips finally parted and they could be further joined in open-mouthed kisses, inhaling the other's breath like it would be their own last.  
  
When they finally broke the panted, hot kiss, both actually now needing to fill their lungs with some much needed oxygen, their eyes immediately locked once more. Dominic began to open his mouth to say something, anything, after what had just happened. He didn't know what he would say, but he felt like something should be said, surely? Before he could, however, Dom found himself being pulled roughly back down, before the brunet nearly suffocated him with his mouth again, yet more urgently this time.  
  
This kissing was suddenly more frantic, harsher and more desperate than before, with Matthew straddling the blond as he stole his breath, his hands travelling across the other man's face and then shoulders, seeking out the feel of him beneath him.  
  
Dominic was in a state of shock and awe, amazed by the sudden flip in Matt and transfixed by the way everything still felt exactly the way it should, that everything else just fell by the wayside. All that mattered was the feel of Matthew's mouth on his and the taste of their tongues finally moving together, brushing and swiping: reacquainting. Even when Matt's fingers started to fumble with the hem of Dom's t-shirt, pushing the garment up beneath his armpits, before throwing his own leather jacket aside.  
  
Dom felt a sudden rush of blood to his head, as Matt finally pulled away, to instead pull Dominic's top the rest of the way off, before the brunet then continued to now shower his newly exposed and heated skin with kisses and sucks. It was as if Matt was desperate to memorise every inch of the blond's sun-kissed skin, his hands and lips frantically seeking out as much of it as possible.  
  
Dom was in a trance, as he then watched the brunet proceed to sit up straight and hurriedly yank his own t-shirt off and toss it aside, revealing his own, still pale and practically hairless, skin. Although Matt wasn't quite as skinny as he had been in the past – and he really had been a sylph-like creature – his collarbones, the ones Dom had spent many hours just worshipping, were still prominent and just as tempting. So much so, that when Matt returned to kissing along Dom's own bare chest, the blond couldn't help but reach out and lick along the defined bones, making the other man's breath hitch.  
  
From there, things began to abruptly speed up even more, with Matthew actually starting to grind down on the blond. When the action was repeated several more times, it prompted Dom to slide his hands under Matt's trousers to firmly grip his boxer-clad arse. At first Dom's rapid heartbeat increased impossibly more, at the unmistakable feeling of the brunet's hardness against his own. The sensation acting as a form of further evidence that this was actually happening and that... more was to come.  
  
That more had to.  
  
So it was with rough breathing that their eyes, now darkened and lust-filled, met yet again and Dom moved away to get what was required from his side drawer, words still not needing to be said. It was like it had always been, they only had to look into one another's eyes to know exactly what was on the other's mind.  
  
Wordlessly, Dominic then handed over the foil package, lying back down on the bed. He was doing his best to appear as calm as possible, even though he was sure his heart could be seen beating madly in his chest, as he kicked his boots off and toed his socks off too.  
  
Having accepted the foil, Matthew put it between his teeth, as he too made quick work of his own footwear, before joining the blond on the bed again. Any tears Dom may have had were long forgotten.  
  
Dominic began undoing his belt then, but struggled a bit to pop his trouser button, before Matt then just pushed his hands aside impatiently and continued to unzip the fly and tug on the trousers until Dom, lifting his hips, made it possible for them to be removed. Dom looked up at the other man, the condom wrapper still trapped between those thin, pink lips, as Matt, eyebrows pulled together in determination, hurriedly moved to undo his own belt and trousers, getting up briefly to carelessly toss them aside like he'd done with his top.  
  
Now, only wearing his red plaid boxers, he then settled back on Dom's thighs, long fingers already slipping towards Dom's own boxers' waistband. The fluttering sensation that just seemed to keep building in Dom's stomach, made his head spin, but somehow he managed to abruptly grab Matt's hands, startling the brunet somewhat out of whatever trance he'd seemed to be absorbed in.  
  
"Are you sure about this, Matt?" he asked, his words sounding rushed as he tried to force them all out. The last thing he wanted now was for Matt to rethink everything and leave him hanging, effectively walking out of his life all over again. This would be more than sex. How could it not?  
  
At least for Dominic.  
  
In response though, the brunet's eyebrows just pulled together before he swiftly tugged Dom's boxers down his toned, slim thighs, the blond's swollen length immediately springing free. Matt then proceeded to get up briefly, before ridding himself of his own boxers and returning to his position on top of Dom's thighs. Removing the foil package from his mouth, he then finally answered.  
  
"It's too late to go back now. Also, I don't think it takes a genius to figure out that this is what both of us want."  
  
And he had a point, as Dominic lay there, propped up on his elbows, the sight of Matthew's own cock, standing thick and hard for him, exactly as he had once taken for granted, helped silence any of the last remaining doubts he had. At least in that moment.  
  
Matthew's eyes were then soon returned back to Dom's own cock, closely relearning every single detail of it as the blond lay back down, waiting for Matt to get on with things. The brunet didn't even know how he'd managed to stop looking at the other man's perfect cock long enough to respond to Dom, after he'd uncovered the – admittedly missed (no matter how hard he tried to deny it) – sight.  
  
 _Fuck._  
  
Matt could feel his insides twisting and squirming, this should all be so wrong. So completely and utterly wrong. Yet instead of regret or remorse, he could only feel the sense of a long established cloud being lifted. There was nothing he could possibly want more in this moment than the man beneath him. And wrong was the furthest of anything this felt, and that wasn't just the booze, he could still feel helping to supply a pleasant buzz to his usually hyper analytical mind, talking.  
  
So, it was with a deep breath that he finally ripped open the foil package and removed the condom within, before reaching out to roll it in place over Dominic's erection, stomach twisting and turning even more at the thought of what he was about to do. But he'd been speaking the truth: it was already too late to stop now. There was just no going back.  
  
As he proceeded to then roll the latex down his ex's rock-hard shaft, he couldn't help the pleasant excitement touching the blond like this once more brought to his already buzzing and conflicted brain. Its heat and weight something he would always find reassuring, regardless, having spent too long getting comfortable and used to it in those years he'd never been able to forget.  
  
The brunet's actions surprised Dom, Matt had never been averse to not always being top – in fact Dom had suspected he enjoyed bottom just as much, if not more (not that the stubborn bastard would ever admit it) – but he had definitely not thought for even a second that he would straightaway choose to let Dominic take him now, especially after all these years. Then again, though, he hadn't expected to be in this situation – both of them bare-arse-naked and about to fuck – with the brunet in the first place.  
  
He, of course, tried to just go with it, while also attempting to avoid from staring too blatantly at Matt's cock, which he could've sworn twitched after the condom was finally secured perfectly. Matt evidently did not bare the same qualms, as his darkened blues were unabashedly trained on Dom's own throbbing length.  
  
Dom supposed though, that if Matt hadn't strayed from his revised path, that his was perhaps the last and now first cock – disregarding Matt's own of course – the brunet had gotten to handle in years. So it was small wonder he was staring. Besides, if Dom was a little self-complimentary, he couldn't deny the fact that he had a pretty damn decent cock, hey, he'd certainly been told so enough.  
  
Condom now in place, Dom couldn't help the sudden drop of his jaw at the once thought to be long lost sight of Matt sucking three elegantly long fingers, before reaching behind and starting to finger himself. His left hand was squarely pressed on the centre of Dominic's chest and his slim thighs tightly clenching either side of Dom's own, as the brunet lifted himself a bit in order to get a good enough reach.  
  
The blond could have sworn to the fact that, in that moment, there was just no better sight in the world, than Matt's expression right then; thin, kiss-swollen lips parted slightly, eyelids fluttering over deep-blue eyes which attempted to maintain his eye contact and facial muscles completely slackened, while deep, hushed moans escaped from him.  
  
There was only so much control the blond could sustain, before he was hastily presenting Matt's agape mouth with three of his own fingers, and after unsuccessfully attempting to hold back a throaty moan at the sensation of that clever mouth working them, he was quick to pull Matt's right hand aside and fill the brunet with his own, slightly thicker, digits. The other man's sudden cry as his back arched at the intense sensation of someone else's fingers after all this time, all the reward he needed.  
  
If Dom couldn't so easily feel the warm buzz drinking had given him, or smell the heady, addictive scent of Matt's skin, which felt smooth and warm against his own, he would have sworn he was dreaming. Though, then again, he'd never, in his wildest dreams, have thought that he would ever get to touch Matt like this once more. The brunet's forehead was now resting on his shoulder, the unbelievable thrill he got at the feeling of the other man's hot breath against his skin undeniable, as his fingers deftly finished their work, scissoring in and stretching Matt's body open for him.  
  
It took everything in him not to moan at the sensations himself, the unbelievably tight heat of Matt's velvety inner walls pulling and squeezing down on his fingers, doing his head in.  
  
When he thought Matt was ready, Dom pulled his fingers out, only to push the other man off himself and onto his back, barely-still-blue eyes wide and fixed on him, as he pushed Matt's thighs more apart and settled between them.  
  
The overwhelming state of arousal, excitement and tipsy bliss Dom found himself in, seemed to become too much and he was left staring down at Matt in disbelief, but the brunet was quick to cut him off, his words calling for no more analysis or logic to be used. But rather for action.  
  
"Just fuck me already, Dom. Fuck me like you used to."  
  
And with a last, steadying breath, Dom set to doing just that, lining himself up just as Matt swung a leg up onto one of the blond's shoulders.  
  
 _Shit, how's he still so flexible?_ Dom couldn't help think with a sense of resentment and jealousy, though if it was more toward Matt or 'Leah', he didn't know.  
  
Oh fuck, who was he trying to fool? Of course he knew.  
  
And just like so, before anything could separate them once more, Dom pushed forward, the indescribable feeling of once again being sheathed within Matthew making his head spin and struggle to maintain lucidity. Of course the brunet's loud cry – the most agonising mix of pain and pleasure – didn't help matters at all. Dom felt as though the last grasp he had on reality was slipping.  
  
How could this really be happening? How was it possible for something – someone – to feel so perfect and divine? What had he possibly done right to be able to have this honour once more?  
  
Matt, similarly, was feeling high as a kite in ecstasy. Again, he knew that this was all kinds of wrong, on so many levels, yet... How could something that felt so unbelievably right ever even be considered shameful, let alone sinful?  
  
The once familiar burn that came with Dom's penetrating force, was now enough to make his eyes tear, but then there was the next layer; the all encompassing layer.  
  
Pleasure.  
  
It seared a pathway through his body, through his very veins and synapses, as it coursed through him, starting where the pain did, but bubbling in the fiery pit of his stomach too, where it flowed and seeped all around; leaving not a single nerve without the most extreme and unadulterated form of true pleasure to transmit.  
  
Suddenly, all control of his voice and body had left him, his entire being now subject to being a slave to the pleasure alone. He was sure he could hear himself cry out, especially when Dom pulled out most of the way, only to then instantly slam back into his willing – almost desperate – body.  
  
It wasn't long before, one leg still over Dom's shoulder and the other wrapped around the blond's waist, the heel of his foot pushing hard into the other man's lower back, that Matt found himself crying out for more.  
  
Dom was of course only too happy to comply, after all, how could he deny Matt anything? Not when he found himself looking down at the brunet, his hand clasping a pale, slim thigh tightly as he continued his well-timed and precise thrusts, while the other man threw his head back, long, pale throat on full display, and cried out so beautifully.  
  
"Harder! Faster! Deeper! Fuck me proper, goddammit!"  
  
So lost in the moment and by the brunet's demands, Dom responded accordingly, but failed to think exactly what he was about to say, before he offered up a verbal response too.  
  
He grabbed Matt by the hips and pulled out, before, having untangled from his pale legs, the brunet then suddenly found himself flipped and on his knees, gripping the headboard for support. And then, suddenly, Dom roughly pushed back into him, making him cry out the loudest yet as the blond’s cockhead dragged right over his prostate, Dom's arms instantly snaking around Matt's narrow hips. The action distinctly possessive.  
  
"I can bet you've missed this," Dom panted in his ear as he repeated the snapping action of his hips expertly, Matt crying out loudly just as before. " _She_ can't fuck you like this," he continued, leaving himself balls deep as he licked up the side of the brunet's neck, gathering the lines of perspiration, which had slid down his pale skin, with a keen tongue. "And at the end of the day that's not good enough... you want to be fucked." Another deep, hard thrust and another loud cry. "No, need to be." After this, Dom roughly grasped Matt's hard length with his left hand and gave it a rough, but skillful pull, his thumb brushing up to swipe along the ridge of the head and then over the brunet's slit; his movements precise and knowledgeable. " _She_ doesn't know how to touch you like I do."  
  
Matt, though, was incapable of any form of coherent speech at that point, his arms and legs trembling as he struggled to maintain his position, his body now unused to this assault of inexplicable stimulation, while his mind had gone to be replaced simply by sense alone. Touch, smell, sight, hearing, even the taste of the droplets of sweat, which slid into his open mouth... What else did one need after all? In that moment, as far as Matt was concerned, all else could be fucked right along with him.  
  
Feeling the weak trembling from the other man's smaller frame, Dom pulled Matt backwards onto his lap then, before repositioning again, so that the two were facing; both now kneeling, ensuring an easier way for them to work together, even though he knew neither of them would last much longer.  
  
In the new arrangement, Matt had his sweat-dampened forehead flopped down onto Dom's shoulder, his hands clutched at the other man's upper arms. The blond on the other hand held Matt’s sweat-darkened head of hair to him with one hand, while the other applied good pressure to Matt's clammy lower back, drawing out even more from him, encouraging the downward thrusts.  
  
In hindsight, as Dom could feel the practically pulsing, solid length of Matt's cock trapped between them, a different position which would have allowed him more access to the rigid member may have been smarter. What he wouldn't give to touch Matt like that some more... but then again, their current *embrace – to put it lightly – just felt so... intimate and _perfect_ already.  
  
At the thought, Dom, his fingers having laced into the sweaty, dark strands of hair, pulled Matt's head back so that he could have access to that addictive little mouth, which now hung open with Matt's desperate pants and moans.  
  
He seized it and sucked Matt's tongue into his mouth, suckling on the slick, hot muscle as suggestively as he felt Matt's own body suck on his cock.  
  
After claiming the brunet's breath once more, Dom drew back again. "Come on... scream for me, Matthew. I want. To hear. You cry. For me. Some more," Dom grunted, their hot breaths mingling, mouths just inches apart, before the blond gave a sudden, hard thrust upwards, instantly earning him yet another, loud and high-pitched cry from the other man. "Show me how much more you enjoy this... enjoy being *fucked* by another man. By me!"  
  
Matt's fingers dug even deeper into Dom's leanly muscled upper arms, the pain going completely unregistered as the blond just kept snapping his hips upwards, meeting Matt's downward ones, the grunts, moans and cries rewarding their efforts and driving them wild, bodies alight with incredible heat and maddening pleasure.  
  
"D-Dom, noth-nothing – _nothing_ – compares... to this... D-Dom, Dom..."  
  
The rough, husky undertone of the brunet's words were clear despite his gasps as Dom proceeded to devour his collarbones. The blond lapping and sucking the almost delicate structures, as the two continued to work perfectly in tandem, bodies seeming to have disregarded all the time which had passed since last they were this intimate. Dom knew that voice, his ears still so fine-tuned toward it. Matt – much like himself – was close.  
  
He, of course, wasn't wrong, the brunet could feel the telltale white-hot, addictive burn building at the base of his spine and gut, the back of his mind already beginning to spark and tingle, his balls tightening and dick absolutely overwhelmed by it all, tightly wedged between their sweet-slicked middles, the pressure near unbearable.  
  
At this point, though, feeling himself beginning to give into his orgasm, Matt let go of his death grip on Dom's arms, to instead clasp onto the blond's face, so that he could bring their mouths together in another steamy, wet kiss. Their tongues rolled together, exploring the other's mouth, tasting and touching in only the most intimate of ways, as they breathed in one another's moans and grunts.  
  
It was then, of course, not a huge shock when, with one final, deadly accurate and fierce drive from Dom's skillful hips, Matt's entire conscious mind finally could hold on no longer and exploded into blinding white stars and – as ironically gay as it sounded – sparkles, as his prostate was assaulted with only the most precise thrusts.  
  
" _Fuuuuck!_ " was all the brunet could gasp out as he came, head pulled away and thrown back, his hot release dousing the tight space between them and his entire body feeling more alive than it had in as long as he could remember.  
  
The rippling pull from within him naturally led to Dom immediately following suit with an almighty cry of Matt’s name. Usually he would've been embarrassed, but he was so buggered from the whole mind and body-altering experience, aftershocks still rocking through him and bringing forth exhausted, yet startled, yelps from the smaller man atop him, that Dom quite frankly had not a fuck left to give.  
  
Both came down slowly from their climaxes, remaining in their embrace-like position, Dom still inside Matt, who's head had nestled into the crook of the blond's neck, while Dom's face was buried in his damp mop of dark hair. This allowed him to breathe in Matt's long missed and lusted after post-orgasmic scent, whilst both men attempted to calm their breathing.  
  
Matt let out a soft, tired hum as Dom lazily drew circles with his finger on the clammy, pale skin of the brunet's effortlessly flawless back.  
  
Eventually though, it became too much and, uncomfortable and unspeakably weary, Dom attempted to pull out of Matt as gently as possible, the brunet still ending up wincing in the process, regardless.  
  
"Fuck." It was hushed and barely an utterance, but Dom had heard it come from the other man, as he pushed the covers the rest of the way down so that he could crawl properly into bed. His need for sleep no longer debatable, even though he could no longer feel a single trace of alcohol left in his system – not after that. No, definitely not. He knew sleep would still do him the world of good though.  
  
Matt didn’t make any move to join him though.  
  
"Matt?"  
  
"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _The camera focused on a blond man sitting on a bed in just a pair of yellow boxer briefs, a very sceptical and unsure expression written all over his face.  
  
"Oh come on, Dom. You can do far better than that! Remember, I won the bet!" a voice called from off camera.  
  
"Ha! Last time I ever attempt to outshine you in grossness. I should've known you'd take it to the next level..." the blond responded as he wrapped his arms uncomfortably around his naked torso.  
  
"Hey, I ate that earthworm, a deal's a deal. So, please – I mean, it's not like you've never watched a porno before, right? So you should know the gist, which certainly isn't what you're doing now," the other man replied, the camera footage veering a bit before a distinct *click* could be heard and the thing was locked.  
  
"Ugh, can't believe I kiss that mouth," the blond said shaking his head, this time his voice sounded lighter and he uncrossed his arms.  
  
"Tis 'cause you love this mouth!" the second man's voice said, as a skinny man with a shock of bright blue hair came into the picture. He too was also only wearing his own, black, boxer briefs, as he went in and plopped down next to the blond, before pulling him into a deep kiss. "Now relax, I mean it's only us who are gonna watch _these _tapes anyway."  
  
"Jesus, Matt, since when were you so determined to become a fucking porn star?" the blond asked, trying to bat off the other man's attempt at yanking down his last shred of decency. "Besides, sex tapes never remain secret, one only has to look at Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, to name but two!"  
  
"Ugh, Dom!" the blue-haired man sighed in frustration, as he gave up his attempts and instead sat back to frown at the blond. "I hate to break it to you, love, but you're not famous or fabulously wealthy. No-one's gonna really give a fuck whether or not you have a sex tape."  
  
"My parents and sister certainly will!"  
  
"Eh, so what. Family's family, they're not permitted to judge, it's their job to continue loving you no matter what. Anyway, like I said, no one else is gonna see this. So just get with the stripping of those pants already! Look," the blue-haired man continued, as he laid back a bit to pull his own boxers off, before throwing them carelessly aside. "If I can do it, so can you!"  
  
The blond's eyes had grown wide in disbelief at the other man's complete nonchalant approach. "Yes, well, we can't all be savages, Bells."  
  
"Oh shut up, Howard, 'nd show us your balls," the smaller man laughed as he pounced on the blond, swiftly parting him from his precious boxers. "Aww, don't get all awkward now," the blue-haired man pouted as his boyfriend blushed brightly and squirmed. "You always love giving me a show, so why not now?"  
  
"Um... maybe because there's a fucking camera in the vicinity?!" the blond exclaimed, hand waving madly toward said camera.  
  
"So? I've already said it a billion times, only we'll see the end result. So basically, you're just ruining the show for our future selves," the blue-haired man reasoned, his voice having dropped to a low and seductive tone as he pushed the blond onto his back, before crawling over him, giving the camera the perfect side view of their overlaying forms, naked flesh contrasting perfectly.  
  
"This is still... I feel so... awkward though–" the blond complained, but his head instantly tipped back and he moaned, as the other man ground his hips downwards.  
  
"Hush, Dom. There's no need for you to feel awkward, if anything, I'm the one that should. I mean, just look at you, Dommeh, you're fucking gorgeous; with your blond hair and perfectly tanned skin – despite, might I say, the fact that we live in fucking England – and I'm just a bony, pale git with a wonky nose and stupid hair."  
  
"Rubbish, you're the gorgeous one, Bells. I love your lovely, pale skin and so what if you're a wee bit on the skinny side? I still think you're hot as all hell! Plus I adore your nose and you certainly love your 'stupid hair' so don't even try pull that with me!" the blond pointed out, a shy smile on his face as the other man giggled playfully in reply, before leaning in and kissing him.  
  
After that it was as if the camera had disappeared and the two men on film continued to kiss madly and go down the path the blue-haired man had been aiming for, both losing themselves entirely in the other.  
  
Soon the blue-haired man was riding his partner, slight frame misted in a light sheen of sweat as the muscles in his lean thighs worked, his hands clasped tightly on the other man's upper arms, as they still continued to practically devour each other's faces. The blond's strong hands were firmly holding onto his partner's hips, helping the movement as they both attempted to hold back moans and cries, but to no avail.  
  
Grunts, moans, whines, cries, panting, heavy breathing; all led to giving the footage a distinct sort of tone. They were the sole sounds, until a distinct bleeping sound, coming from about the camera could be heard, it's chime reminiscent to that of a warning of sorts.  
  
"D-Dom," the blue-haired man panted, further disrupting the cliché adult film soundtrack, as he attempted to flick darkened azure strands from his eyes, while he gazed down at the blond.  
  
"Y-yes, Matt?"  
  
"I-I love you – _fuuuck _, yes! – so much," he continued, relinquishing hold of the arm closest to the screen, so that his hand could instead, sweetly, push aside a sweat-dampened, blond fringe. "So – ungh! – goddamn much."  
  
"I know," the blond replied, reaching up to peck the other man's nose. "I love you too."  
  
"Yeah, but – whoa, watch it, get-ting c-cl-close!"  
  
"But?" the blond urged, the blue-haired man's eyes having shut and his mouth hanging open in a silent scream of pleasure.  
  
"B-but, what I-I mean... is that I always will... I could never stop – GUH! – loving you, Dom!" And with that he was gone, his head falling down heavily on the blond's shoulder, as his slight frame shuddered violently.  
  
It appeared as though the blond wished to say something else, in response, but instead his hold on the other man visibly tightened as he cried out loudly, hips giving a few last rolls before he too seemed to shudder to a halt, body going limp.  
  
Just as the gaps in time between bleeping seemed to have sped up, a muffled "I could never leave you," came from the smaller man, as he attempted to lift his head and place a kiss on the blond's lips. "You're stuck with me."  
  
"And I wouldn't have it any other way," the blond smiled tiredly back, returning the kiss. "I'd be broken if you did and yo–"  
  
But before all the words could leave the blond's mouth, the camera footage suddenly cut out._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, in this bit guilt reigns supreme, apples are dropped and Tom's a nosy bastard, while Chris doesn't know what to think... Hope you enjoy!

_"On today's episode, we are going to view how the homo homo sapien, Dominic, goes about his cleaning rituals," a hushed male voice whispered conspiratorially.  
  
The camera footage showed the cameraman's view as he walked forward, his pale hand briefly coming into picture, long fingers turning a door handle and opening up the white door, revealing the room he was walking into to be a bathroom.  
  
The camera instantly zoned in on the shower, which was currently running, misting steam billowing around, with a lone figure standing and showering in it, his tanned back facing the camera. The blond man, his hair wet and plastered to his face, instantly spun around in the shower, only to hastily shove his hands over his crotch.  
  
"What the fuck, Matt?! Why are you filming me showering?!"  
  
"Note the creature's initial hostility, these species are well known for their inherent shyness when caught doing such daily rituals. They are also known to–"  
  
"For fuck's sake, Matthew! Cut the crap and turn that fucking thing off!" the man in the shower yelled, his expression showing clearly that he was not amused in the slightest.  
  
"Ah, and another characteristic is that the species reverts to full names when attempting to be serious or intimidating. Zoologists believe this is due to the beast–"  
  
"Oi, that's a bit rough! I'm no beast! Jesus, Matthew, what is your–"  
  
"–thinking that one will listen more carefully and–"  
  
"ENOUGH!" the blond yelled again, this time opening the glass shower door, forgetting momentarily about the running water, as he grabbed for the cameraman.  
  
"DOM! YOU'RE WET!" yelped the cameraman's voice, before the camera footage blurred and the camcorder appeared to have been dropped, as it suddenly hit the ground, the film momentarily buzzing and blurring before it managed to settle down again.  
  
Its footage was now simply of the plain white ceiling, tendrils of steam dancing over it as the sound of the two men fighting and struggling could be heard from off camera.  
  
"STOP IT! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! I'M WEARING CLOTHES!" the man who'd been holding the camera could be heard screaming, rather panicked and hysterical.  
  
"No ways, you need – OOF! – to be taught a lesson, Matthew!" the other man yelled back. "Now stop hitting me! – OUCH DAMMIT! – that's it!"  
  
"No wait, I'm sorry! Put me down, please! Look, I've stopped! I won't film mockumentries of you again! Please don't!" the first man begged desperately, but it was all to no avail. "_ DOOOOOM! _" a sudden, high-pitched and hysterical cry rang out, before the slam of what must have been the shower door was heard.  
  
"Stop freaking out, Jesus, Matt, it's only water. By the way you're yelling you'd think I'd thrown you into a shower of acid!"  
  
"FUCK YOU, DOM!" was all the first man had to say in reply, banging on the glass door clearly audible.  
  
"Aww, did I upset you, Bells?" the second man cooed, before the sound of the shower door opening could be heard. "Here, I'm sorry."  
  
"I fucking hate you right now, don't even touch me."  
  
"Oh, come on, Matt. It was just a bit of fun; you can't seriously be angry with me. I mean, you did start it technically."  
  
"Well I am!" Suddenly the face of a thoroughly pissed off looking man with dripping wet, powder blue hair and an equally soaked shirt came into view of the camera, as he reached out and picked it up, the footage moving to now film his drenched socks and the bottom half of his equally wet trousers.  
  
"Seriously, Matt?" the other man's voice asked, a pair of tanned bare feet and lower legs coming into frame now, too. "Can't you forgive me? I promise to make it up to you..."  
  
"Hmm... depends. How exactly do you plan on making it up to me?"  
  
"Well..." At this, the bare feet moved right in front of the socked ones, their toes now touching.  
  
The sound of the two kissing quickly followed suit, before the camera switched views, the first man clearly handing it over to the other one. In the camera's limited view, it still managed to pick up the brief flash of colour before a black t-shirt hit the ground in a wet heap.  
  
"Oh, the camera's still filming!" the second man exclaimed, the view of a pale, skinny torso now coming into picture.  
  
"Well then, turn it off, I know how pissy you get when I try film us fucking. Besides, there's nowhere to support it so that it can record me fucking you in the shower like the whore you are."  
  
"MATT! It's still on!!"  
  
"Turn it off already then!"  
  
Before the footage went dead, the sound of metal clanging could be heard, sounding suspiciously like the sound of a belt being undone, before the unmistakable sound of a zipper could be heard.  
  
Then everything went black._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
"Wait, you what?!" Chris demanded, his mouth gaping open as he stared back at Dominic in utter, horrified shock.  
  
"I said that I slept with Matt," Dom repeated, his voice going a mile a minute and his ears having turned bright pink.  
  
"Whoa, Dommeh! What a dark horse!" Tom guffawed, as he gave his best mate a round of applause. Chris still looked far less than impressed though.  
  
"You 'slept' with Matt, as in married-with-children Matt?!"  
  
"Uh, yeah..." Dom nodded, definitely feeling the embarrassed flush his skin was so kind to grant him with.  
  
"That'a man!" Tom continued to cheer. " _Aaaand_ , what was it like? He still have all the moves? As good as you remember it? And what about his–"  
  
"SHUT UP, TOM!" Chris shouted, instantly silencing the shorter brunet. "This is serious. Shit, Dom, what were you thinking?! I can't actually believe it..."  
  
It had been well over two weeks since 'the incident' with Matt and Dom was truly beginning to fret, as he hadn't spoken to the slight brunet since; Matt refusing to answer any of his calls or reply to any texts. After they'd... well, they'd had _sex_ , Dom had thought they'd sleep things off and face it all the next day, only for Matt to hastily start getting dressed, saying that he had to go, refusing to stay despite the blond's best efforts to get him to calm down and stay.  
  
Now? Now there was just silence from the other man's end and Dom was in a tiz, so had turned to his best mates for some form of distraction. Of course he hadn't ended up managing to keep things secret, it had only taken twenty minutes into the football game they'd gone to watch at Tom's for him to spit it out, the guilt of it all just eating away at him.  
  
"Well... not much," Dom admitted with a sheepish shrug.  
  
"So I take it that pub date you arranged went over well then?" Tom asked, unable to hold back a grin.  
  
"Er, you could say that? Well... the kids had been dumped unexpectedly on him though, so we hadn't gotten to catch up or–"  
  
"Right, 'catch up'," Tom chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, before Chris wacked him on the head. "Oi!"  
  
"Anyway," Dom continued, frowning at his friend. "We then arranged to meet up on the Friday night for dinner–"  
  
"Holy shit, you're kidding right? How could you possibly not have seen this coming?! Hello, it's called 'date night' for a reason!"  
  
"Tom. Shut. Up. Before I shut you up," Chris growled in final warning, wanting to give Dom a chance to finish explaining himself. He knew that his friend was a good man. Dom wouldn't just callously mess around with a married man – especially one with children – if he didn't have some kind of reason. "And anyway, I thought you knew Matt's missus, why the grin?"  
  
"Hey, I said I knew her, not that I liked her," Tom replied with a simple shrug, before both men turned to Dom, expectant.  
  
"So... basically we went to dinner 'cause his family were away at his mother-in-law's and so he was free for the night and then we got talking and it was amazing again, 'cause we still get on so well, but then we spoke about why he left me all those years ago and it got super awkward, so then we drank a lot and drank even more at a bar after and became rather pissed so decided to walk around the block to sober up, only Matt ended up walking me home and then I wanted to give him a tour and he agreed and then, before I knew it, we were kissing and then we were fucking!  
  
“And I was left going 'Holy shit I can't actually believe I'm fucking Matt again!' And it had felt so unbelievably amazing – completely next level, out of this world shit – but then he'd left in a hurry and wouldn't talk about it and hasn't answered my calls or texts now since and I'm going mad 'cause it's been over two weeks and I still can't stop thinking about him! I've showered a million times but I can still smell him on my skin and I want – no need – him! But he's married and, and... Ugh!" Dom gasped after he'd finally finished, having just spewed everything out in a jumbled rush, before Tom could interrupt again or he chickened out.  
  
When he looked up again, it was to find his two friends staring back at him in a mixture of shock and pity.  
  
"So... yeah, I don't know what the fuck to do now..."  
  
  
===  
  
  
Unable to sleep, his conscience and mind fucking it all up for him, Matt was left to simply spend yet another sleepless night, tossing and turning.  
  
He felt awful; disgusted with himself. How could he have broken his vows so easily, pushed aside his endless love for his children and that for Leah? Of course the two of them were rather more in the way of the perfect storm, than the happily ever after kind of couple, but he still loved her. Dearly.  
  
At least, he was sure he did.  
  
Except that, when he lay in bed like now, next to her sleeping form, mere inches from his own, the guilt he felt was not for what he'd done, but for what it would do to her. Surely he should hate himself for having enjoyed what had happened with Dom, because he loved Leah and would never want to touch anyone else but her? He shouldn't just feel guilt because he knew she'd be upset...  
  
He took an unsteady breath, trying to calm himself down, still staring at her peacefully asleep face, her blonde hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.  
  
The worst, worse than the hurt and confusion he saw in her eyes when he avoided physical contact with her and pretending that nothing had changed, was looking at his kids.  
  
He couldn't afford to be selfish anymore, they came before anything and he had a responsibility to them, to continue raising them in a safe and stable home. They didn't deserve to have their father running around behind their mother's back with some other man from his past. Yet that was exactly what he'd done, he'd betrayed his family's trust and had put their well being after his own selfish desires.  
  
"You're such a fucking selfish bastard, Matthew. You don't deserve them," he whispered to himself, stomach dropping with unbearable guilt as Leah reached out for him in her sleep, her hand settling possessively around his waist as she snuggled up closer.  
  
He wanted to push her hand away, her touch burning into his skin. It wasn't her fault though, he had to remind himself; he was the one to blame, so why did her touch 'burn'?  
  
His mind was a confused mess, as he tried to breathe in deeply and calm himself down. She hadn't noticed anything when she and the kids had returned from their weekend away, he should just relax: he'd gotten away with it. He'd gotten away with cheating. Cheating on his wife. His children.  
  
Dom.  
  
What he'd done had no doubt also hurt the blond, his texts and calls still as frequent and as desperate, despite the lengthening period since _that_ evening. Of course Matt let his phone ring, deleted the messages... He couldn't. He just... couldn't. He had to cut this all off; he had to stop whatever had happened from continuing to consume all his thoughts and dreams. He had to also stop Dom from lingering, thinking there was even the slightest possibility, 'cause there wasn't.  
  
He couldn't build the blond's hopes up again, only to shatter them once more, 'cause there was no way he would ever abandon his children. Sammy and Elliot gave his life meaning, he couldn't just drop them to run off with a blast from the past. Responsibilities. Maturity. Marriage and parenthood. Matt was no longer his own person. What he did didn't just affect him anymore, but had repercussions for his family too.  
  
With this thought, Matt rolled over, attempting to distance himself even just a little bit away from Leah, he couldn't look at her when she was like this, calm and peaceful, it just reminded him how much of a fraud he'd become. Giving her false security, by misleading and lying to her.  
  
Her hand flopped off onto the bed as his body turned and he felt his heart lurch, only for it to stutter suddenly when he'd turned to look straight into a pair of bright-blue eyes, their colour unmistakable despite the darkness.  
  
"Sammy?!" he yelped, clutching his chest, the face of his little girl, mere inches from his own as he battled his inner turmoil, the last thing he'd expected.  
  
"Daddy, I had a dream and got scared, can I sleep with you?" she asked, and Matt could see the tears still lingering in her eyes and the scared expression on her face, his eyes having had more than enough time to adjust to the darkness.  
  
"Er, love, I'm not so sure. You know Mummy wants you to be more independent and deal with this sort of thing on your own," Matt replied, reminding Sammy of the chat Leah had had with her, after having informed Matt that he babied her too much. She had a bit of a point, but Matt couldn't help it, Sammy _was_ his baby girl and always would be.  
  
"B-but, please, I'm scared. Just t-tonight, Daddy?" Her voice tore at his already sensitive, guilt-ridden heart and so, without a second's thought he lifted the duvet before him.  
  
"Okay, sweetheart, c’mon," he smiled at her.  
  
Thankful, the little girl eagerly climbed up into the bed and he pulled her into his arms, as she reached out for him, snuggling into his embrace.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered and gave him a quick kiss, before burying her face in his chest, small hands clutching at his t-shirt.  
  
"It's fine, Monkey. I don't want you to be scared. I'm here for you. Nothing will hurt you," he reassured her, stroking her hair soothingly.  
  
"I love you, Daddy."  
  
"Love you even more, Monkey."  
  
He'd deal with Leah tomorrow. As he heard Sammy's breathing slow down while she began to fall into a peaceful sleep, he knew he'd made the right decision. Above everything, he would try to be a good father and make it up to his kids.  
  
Reminding him of something else he had to do.  
  
Careful not to disturb the sleeping child nestled against his chest, Matt reached over to his bedside table, one arm still wrapped around Sammy, and grabbed his iPhone.  
  
Unlocking it, his background picture that of him sitting with Elliot in his lap and Sammy, her arms wrapped around him from behind, with her head on his shoulder, all three smiling away, taken by Leah on a family trip to the zoo a month ago, he knew that this would be the right decision too.  
  
Taking an unsteady breath, Matt typed out a message and sent it to Dominic before the selfish side of him could talk him out of it.  
  
**I can't**  
  
The ache he felt inside as his thumb traced the little bubble of text wasn't unexpected, but he knew it was necessary. He hated that he was hurting Dom again, but then the blond had known – just as well as he – that nothing could _really_ ever happen between them. The unexpected heartache that he felt though himself, was simply a just form of punishment and what he deserved for the selfish night of passion.  
  
He hadn't thought the blond would still be able to have such an effect over him after all this time, but if anything, he was sure he affected him even more now.  
  
No, he definitely couldn't even be friends with Dominic Howard. They could never just be friends.  
  
  
===

  
Dominic was staring at those two little words yet again. Apart they were small, insignificant, but together? Together they had served to tear and shred what little of his heart had been left.  
  
He knew it was ridiculous, stupid even, but he hadn't been able to not get attached to Matt all over again, despite the bloke already being taken. They should never have gotten drunk like that, maybe then they would never have slept together again... Perhaps it would've hurt less now, the guaranteed rejection and impossibility of a proper relationship always having been there.  
  
Even then, drinking had only given them a little freedom from their inhibitions. Something would've ended up happening between them eventually. There wasn't a way anything couldn't have.  
  
So Dom was left to shake himself and put away his phone, ignoring his now near constant bad habit of checking the text since he'd gotten it at least a week ago. It was doing his head in. Instead, he came back to reality; stuck in the fresh produce isle of his local M&S, trying to remember what he needed again.  
  
Was it more lettuce? Tomatoes? Apples?  
  
_Probably the apples..._  
  
"DOM!"  
  
Hearing his name being called out suddenly out of nowhere, Dominic dropped the bag of apples he'd been checking out in fright, before spinning on his heel to see whomever on Earth had called him. Before his eyes had time to adjust, however, he was suddenly under attack, skinny arms and dark blonde hair everywhere, as a little girl – Sammy, he quickly realised with an excited flutter of his heart – grabbed him around the waist in an overenthusiastic hug.  
  
"Er, hey there, Sammy," Dom smiled, awkwardly patting her on the head in response, his eyes looking up and searching for a certain familiar someone.  
  
When he couldn't immediately see the other man anywhere, he looked back down at the little girl currently secured to his lower half, her bright blue eyes trained up on him and shimmering away happily. Well at least one Bellamy wasn't upset to see him...  
  
_Now where was Matthew?_  
  
"Samantha! Come back here!" Dom looked up again, this time to see a skinny, blonde woman balancing easily on extremely high heels, while in a pair of jeans, which looked painted on they were so tight, as she marched toward them. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into her. She's usually far better behaved," she apologised, this time addressing Dom as she reached out to extract the child off of him, looking genuinely apologetic and a bit embarrassed.  
  
"Uh, it's okay, don't worry about it," Dom assured her, his cheeks flushing as he realised whom she must be. "I really don't mind."  
  
He felt completely embarrassed. Of course, he also shouldn't be surprised either by the guilt that followed too. It was one thing doing something bad to a faceless name, but now that she was actually here, now that he could see her in person? She just seemed all the more real and the gravity of what he'd done came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. The fact that Sammy was also still stubbornly draped on him didn't help matters either; it was also her happiness that he'd endangered with his callous actions.  
  
"But, Mummy, it's Dom!" Sammy insisted, looking at the man in question for some assistance, as her mother pried her off of Dom's leg.  
  
"'Dom'? I'm sorry, how do you know that?" she asked, looking from Sammy to Dom, her perfectly tweezed eyebrows furrowing.  
  
"Er, well, you see–" Dom began, but was cut off by an indignant Sammy.  
  
"He's Daddy's friend!"  
  
"He is – I mean – you are? You're friends with Matt?" she asked, her expression giving away her shock and confusion easily enough. "Really? I don't believe I've ever met you... I've never heard mention of a 'Dom' either."  
  
"Um, yeah, I'm an, uh, old friend. We only recently bumped into each other again," Dom shrugged in response, trying to play everything cool and indifferent. She clearly still had no idea what Matt had done the other night.  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, um, I'm Leah, his wife. I hope he's already told _you_ about me," she said extending a perfectly manicured hand toward him, her smile warm and genuine. Dom felt like utter filth.  
  
"Of course." Dom forced a smile and politely shook her hand. She had a strong grip for someone her size and Dom also couldn't help but notice the fairly large rock on her ring finger. She wasn't short, by no means, in her heels she was even a tad taller than him, so must be taller than Matt even minus the sky-high heels. She was just... small and skinny, definitely a model type.  
  
As he took her in a bit more, he also noticed that she had full, lush lips and that her eyes were fairly similar to his own, bluey-grey ones, her legs too, seemed to go on for ages. Matt clearly had a type then...  
  
"Er, well, it was nice meeting you... Dom. We should all maybe go out together sometime soon, you could bring your girlfriend or wife or whatever," she smiled brightly, but Dom could tell she was still hung up on the fact that Matt hadn't told her about him and that even Sammy knew him. "But, for now, Sammy has piano in a bit and we still need to finish our shopping."  
  
"Oh, uh, sure. Perhaps," was Dom's response, choosing to leave out that, no, he didn't have a female partner of any sort. And then, looking back down at the little girl who was reluctantly standing next her mother, Dom smiled at her. "I didn't know you played piano, I hope you enjoy your lesson. Say hello to your brother for me, okay?"  
  
"Thank you! Okay, I will," she smiled up happily at him, before quickly rushing off to offer him her hand in their – now customary – form of greeting.  
  
Only too aware of Leah's owl-like gaze trained on them, Dom shook Sammy's little hand instead, much to the little girl's confusion, as he didn't know how Leah might react to the usual kiss he’d give it. He already felt uncomfortable enough in her presence, he didn't need her thinking he was suspicious by misinterpreting things.  
  
"Dom, you have to kiss my hand!" Sammy, however, clearly had other ideas and Dom could feel a light blush spread over his cheeks, when he noticed that Leah had lifted her eyebrows curiously.  
  
"Er, Sammy..." But the little girl's expression was so expectant and Dom felt bad enough as it was about everything, so that when she gave him her impression of big, blue puppy dog eyes – all too similar to Matt's for his liking – Dom hadn't stood a chance. "Okay, fine," he smiled, doing his best to block out Leah from his peripheral, as he then bent down and lightly touched Sammy's upstretched hand with his lips. "There you go, love."  
  
"Eeeh, thank you!" she grinned and then Dom awkwardly waved goodbye to the two Bellamy women, before returning to his shopping, sure that he was as bright as the apples he was picking up from where he'd previously dropped them.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
_"Hey, Dom, isn't that your boyfriend over there?" a voice off camera, the cameraman's, asked the blond on film, who was busy pushing a shopping trolley down what looked like a fresh produce supermarket isle.  
  
"Oh fuck, shut up, Tom! And he's not my boyfriend! We've only been on like two dates!" the blond, clearly panicking, flailed, looking over his shoulder, as the camera swung round to film another young man. This one had thick, messy hair, dyed black, and a skinny frame, he was going about his own shopping, the camera zooming in to film him examining the produce on sale at the end of the isle.  
  
"Aw, but you said they went well and that you really liked him!" the cameraman insisted, zooming in the furthest he could and dragging the camera slowly down the dark-haired man's body teasingly.  
  
"Tom, what the fuck are you doing?! Shit, put your camera away, I think he's spotted us! Please let's not freak the bloke out," the blond's voice could be heard, as the camera zoomed out a bit, taking in the sight of the raven-haired man waving in their direction.  
  
"Ooh, you see, you do really like this one," the cameraman teased, bringing the blond back into picture, his cheeks having flushed bright pink. "And don't look now, but I think he's headed over here!"  
  
"Fuck, Tom, put the camera away, shit what do I say? Tom! The camera, oh my God, you're so embarrass–"  
  
"Hey, Dom," a voice off camera greeted, the blond on camera jumping, his already pink cheeks flushing even more as he turned to look off the camera's vantage in the direction of the other man's voice.  
  
"Uh, hi, Matt," he grinned nervously, the camera veering to zoom out more and show both the blond and raven-haired man.  
  
The dark-haired man, his own cheeks a light shade of rosiness, turned and looked straight at the camera nervously.  
  
Seeing where the other man was looking, the blond quickly spoke up. "Um, er, you remember Tom, right? You'll have to forgive him; he's having one of his 'must run around filming everything!' days. Sorry," he shrugged apologetically.  
  
The other man just nodded and shrugged back. "Er, sure. Hi, nice to see you again, Tom."  
  
"Same to you," the cameraman greeted cheerily.  
  
The two men on film then just stood awkwardly, eyes flashing between the camera and each other.  
  
"So..." the dark-haired man began shyly.  
  
"Ditch Tom and his camera?" the blond suggested.  
  
"Stole the words right out of my mouth," he grinned back, a skew front tooth making itself known.  
  
"Well, I'd happily steal a whole lot more out of it," the blond replied, returning the grin, clearly having gotten over his shyness.  
  
"Ew, Dom! Behave yourself! And why are you gonna leave me, that's rather a bit rude, you know," the cameraman whined, but still continued his filming, the men on film just ignored him though, both focused on staring at the other, their grins still in place.  
  
"So, about what else you'd like to steal..." the raven-haired man began, reaching his hand out for the blond's.  
  
"Well..." the blond giggled, choosing to instead wrap an arm around the other man as the two began to walk off, the blond abandoning his trolley with the cameraman.  
  
"Oi! Are you seriously gonna now leave me with the shopping?! Forget it, I'm not doing this alone and when Chris is pissed that there's no food in the flat, I'm blaming you, Dom!" the cameraman yelled after them, cursing under his breath.  
  
But the blond just ignored him, the dark-haired man's skinny arm around his waist tightly, while he allowed his own hand to drift lower, briefly squeezing the smaller man's jean-clad arse.  
  
"Ugh, disgusting," the cameraman continued to complain, the camera dropping to film his old Converse trainers, before there was some rustling and the footage cut out._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. Life got a bit in the way...
> 
> In this bit there lies confrontation, lots of nudity and risky times... Hope you enjoy!

_"Remind me again… why you insist... on filming this?!" a man with powder-blue hair, panted, the camera zooming out to show that he was busy jogging on a treadmill.  
  
"To show you just how unfit you are!" the cameraman responded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"You don't need to... show me that on... film, I can feel... it, for myself," the skinny man on film argued, his face flushed pink and sweat glistening on his forehead, the strands of his blue fringe damp and sticking to it. "Plus people keep looking... over here."  
  
"Matt, this is another reason why I need to film you, I mean, have you seen the way you run? Trust me, it's not because I have a camera that they're staring," the cameraman pointed out with a giggle, the man on film shooting him daggers, as his skinny limbs indeed flailed about as he ran.  
  
"Fuck you, Dom!" The blue-haired man was so busy focusing on glaring at the camera, that his long feet faltered and tripped over one another, sending him skidding and landing chin first onto the treadmill, just in time for it to swiftly send him flying straight off of it.  
  
"Shit, Matt, are you okay?!" the cameraman asked, trying his best not to laugh, as the footage got closer to the fallen man.  
  
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, my chin, shitting fucking, I hate you so much right now, Dominic!" the blue-haired man swore, clutching at his chin, his knees pulled up to his body, the skin badly grazed on them.  
  
"Ouch, I'm so sorry, Matty love. Here, let me see?" the cameraman asked, the man on film still swearing like a trooper and telling him that he could 'fuck right off' for giggling, before there was some rustling and the camera was switched off._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
It was as Dominic was slowing down to a stride from his morning run (having decided to switch his evening runs for morning ones – best to just get it over with early on), having arrived outside his flat, that he spotted a familiar figure sitting on the front steps, his expression anything but pleased to see Dom.  
  
Dom tugged out his earphones and approached as the brunet stood up, having seen him now too.  
  
"Er, hi," Dom said, he was still attempting to process the fact that Matthew had shown up in front of his flat, after weeks of having ignored him solid.  
  
And damn, if the sight of the slight man, in a pair of snug, dark jeans and that red periodic table print tee – _He still owns that?_ – that the blond remembered distinctly from his past, wasn't enough to send his heartbeat racing all over again. Of course the memory of their last encounter, instantly flooding back too, didn't hurt in helping reboot the thudding muscle after his run either.  
  
When Matt didn't greet him back, Dom knew something was up. Something had clearly upset the brunet.  
  
_Obviously, else he wouldn't be here, right?_  
  
"What did you say to Leah?" His voice was cold, cut and to the point, his face stern and void of emotion.  
  
"Um, excuse me?" Dom asked, taken aback by Matt's question and uncharacteristic tone. He'd never heard him speak like that before, let alone to him, not even when they'd had their final big fight all those years ago. Of course, then it had only been Dom arguing, Matt simply repeating the cliché 'it's not you, it's me' line, until he had left without looking back.  
  
"Leah, what did you say to her? She came home the other day saying she'd run into an 'old friend' of mine and that she hadn't known who the hell he was, yet our child had. I had to spend ages trying to calm her down and listen to her shout at me for 'never letting her in'," Matt explained, his brow only succeeding in furrowing more.  
  
"Nothing aside from just that, honestly. I didn't mention anything else... How come she doesn't know, though, about your past I mean?" Dom asked, folding his arms and matching the other man's frown. They were on his home turf, he wasn't about to be blamed and shouted at here, of all places.  
  
"Hmm... well, that's beside the point, as now she has it in her head that you should come over for dinner, 'cause 'If Sammy is so smitten, I feel like I must be missing out on someone great'," Matt groaned, rolling his eyes as he imitated a high-pitched attempt at a female voice.  
  
"Well, you've only really got yourself to blame, mate," Dom shrugged, his attention more focused on the sight of Matt's Adam's apple bouncing as he spoke. His own frown did, however, soften at Matt's impression. Now that was more like the man he knew. It quickly returned though.  
  
"Listen here, Dominic. It doesn't matter who's to blame! If you even think about telling Leah anything, I will personally ensure that you will..."  
  
Dammit, he knew he should be listening better and taking things more seriously, as Matt continued to go on about something or other – Dom just tuning out his defensive retort – but... It had been weeks since the last time he'd seen Matt, after having spent the entire time with the brunet never far from his thoughts and always starring in all his dreams. Could he really be blamed for his current state of... distraction?  
  
At this point he didn't even care if he looked like he was paying attention, his eyes trailing over the rest of his one-time lover. They couldn't help instantly picking up certain characteristic tics which gave a lot more away than he supposed the brunet would ever admit to by himself (or to himself).  
  
His long fingers were twitching at his sides – instead of their usual, mad animation – and that vein in the centre of his forehead, between his brows, was straining: stress. That was a given of course, but when Dom noticed the way Matt kept biting at the bottom of his lip, he knew it was a whole lot more than stress, or at least made it partly clearer where the stress was coming from.  
  
"...are you even listening?! Fuck's sake, Dominic, you're impossible! This is my family – my life – at stake and I don't appreciate–"  
  
"Shut up, Matthew," Dom finally interrupted, a switch having flicked in his mind; of course, and there he'd been thinking the brunet had thought differently all along. He could've slapped himself in the forehead it was so obvious now.  
  
"Sorry, what?!" Matt asked incredulously, knocked from his train of thought, another habit Dom remembered he had: being easily distracted. Perfect. "Did you honestly just tell m–"  
  
Dom shut him up though, before any more hollow threats and challenges could escape from his mouth. The second the blond claimed Matt's lips, the rest of his sentence and words died in his throat, his mouth instantly reciprocating instinctively without thought.  
  
All the pent-up stress and confusion rushing and fucking Matt around just seemed to fade off, out of thought. All that mattered was the unbelievable feel of Dom's soft, lush lips on his own, his strong arms anchoring Matt back down to earth.  
  
He quickly felt his mind drifting and all thoughts of repercussions could go fuck themselves as far as he was concerned, the instant Dom's forceful tongue pushed its way into the slicked inside of his mouth. Of course he gave as good as he got, lacing his fingers in the other man's still somewhat sweat dampened locks of blond hair, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss even more.  
  
The two were lost in the kiss until they heard some whistling from a group of teenage girls walking past, both men instantly springing apart, their cheeks flushed a bright pink.  
  
"Shit, Dom, we can't do this," Matt muttered, trying to block out the catcalls from the passing girls.  
  
"Oh, but..." Dom's heart felt like it was dropping like a lead balloon, just as soon as it had soared from Matt instantly having returned the breath-taking kiss. Yet, now he didn't want to even kiss Dom anymore? Had he been reading all the signs wrong?  
  
"No, relax, um... I mean, we can't kiss out here – in public – it's too risky. Can we, um..."  
  
"Go inside?" Dom risked, finishing Matt's sentence, the brunet looking flushed and embarrassed.  
  
He just nodded in reply and, before Matt – or himself for that matter – could properly reconsider what they were about to do, he grabbed onto a pale, skinny wrist and pulled Matt up the stairs and inside, the sound of the group of girls cheering and hollering carrying out behind them.  
  
Barely managing from just shoving Matt up against a nearby wall and snogging him into a coma right there, Dom finally reached his front door and began patting the inside of his shorts for the key. When he did manage to locate it, the tricky hidden pocket on the inside of his shorts always alluding him for a bit, Dom noticed Matt staring at him with raised eyebrows as he retrieved the key from within the jogging shorts.  
  
"Oi, don't judge. There's a pocket in them, where else am I meant to put the damn thing?!" Dom defended himself, not at all appreciating the mocking look the other man was giving him, as he quickly unlocked the wooden door.  
  
"I said nothing," Matt raised his hands innocently, before following the blond into the apartment after the door was finally opened.  
  
"Home sweet home," Dom grinned, quickly closing and locking the door behind them and then dumping his iPod and key by the entrance hall table. He then wasted no more time in grabbing ahold of Matt's wrist again and dragging him toward his bedroom, where, in his opinion, the slight brunet belonged. There was no point beating around the bush.  
  
As Matt obediently followed, his eyes roved as much of the place as he could, the furnishings and surroundings appearing different – clearer – in the daylight and with a sober state of mind.  
  
Though, that was just it. He was sober. Positively free of being under the influence of any substances, yet here he was, following after Dominic, his ex, the man he'd, drunken and mistakenly, let fuck him again the other night... He was married, he had kids, he wasn't some dumb twenty-something year old with no commitments anymore, he wasn't just treading dangerous waters, he was fucking drinking and bathing in them.  
  
He loved his kids, his wife, his house and his job. He led a fulfilled and charmed life.  
  
So then what the hell was he doing here? In Dominic's apartment, following him into his bedroom, sitting on the bed with him, kissing him again, moaning into the other man's mouth, fisting his hands in his hair, feeling the crotch of his jeans tighten, those familiar hands palming him, making him mewl with want... This was not what someone who was satisfied with his life did. Someone who already had everything they wanted. Needed.  
  
Yet, as Dominic slid to the floor, his hands dragging down Matt's thighs, which hung off the bed with his feet resting flat on the ground, the blond situating himself between them while maintaining eye contact, Matt knew that something must be lacking. There was a hole, untouched and shoved aside before, which was finally making itself known once more. The want and need tearing at him, screaming for him to acknowledge the fact.  
  
Matt had been lying to himself, for all these years. His life wasn't complete, nor was it anything near perfect. Not without the man before him; the ripping and gaping longing in his heart, baring only testament to the complete and utter mindfuck Matt had just been dealt.  
  
He loved Dom. Then and now _and_ in between. He'd never stopped loving him for even the merest hint or fraction of a second. His love had never faded or ebbed or even diluted with the birth of his children. His heart had simply learned to increase in capacity; its designated, never-ending love for the blond only ignored, but never replaced or destroyed.  
  
"Matt? Oi, Bells, you still with me?" Dom's voice called bringing Matt back from his mind-altering revelation.  
  
"Y-yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry, just kinda... well, I don't know, hard to explain really," he replied, shrugging embarrassedly. "Sorry, didn't mean to zone out on you like that."  
  
Taking in the other man's light blush, its colour pinkening those sharp cheekbones of his, Dom chose to let it go. Quite frankly he was still in shock that things still seemed to be going the way he wanted them to. Sure he felt like the biggest arsehole when thinking of Leah and the kids, but it was just easier to push that all aside and simply get lost in this exciting new universe that seemed to be enveloping just the two of them; shutting them off from the rest of the world and all the responsibilities that came with it.  
  
"Nah, s'okay," Dom smiled back, so enamoured with the other man, that explanations weren't necessary.  
  
So, choosing to simply continue in their previous direction, Dom returned his attention to the sizeable bulge in the front of Matt's jeans, the zipper's teeth having become more pronounced as it was fighting the pressure from within. He wasn't exactly surprised by the immediate level of excitement he'd managed to work Matt's body into, his earlier body language having given off one thing that Dom had learnt to recognise many years ago: desperation and raw want.  
  
As vain as it felt for Dom to think it, he knew that it had taken a lot for Matt to uphold his coldness earlier, the signs had all said the same thing. The brunet had been trying his best to maintain his false sense of disinterest and dislike, when all he'd clearly wanted to do was jump Dom. He'd been reacquainted with what he'd lost when he'd left Dom all those years ago and connections had been remade, going further than just the physical.  
  
At least that explained everything, it had been why Dom had just taken that gamble and grabbed onto Matt and pulled him into a kiss. He'd understood. Understood the reason behind the blatant way in which Matt had simply ignored him and why he'd left in such a hurry that night. Whether it was on a conscious or subconscious level, he still wanted him. Matt still desired and wanted him, for more than just some drunken one-night stand. He may even still care.  
  
So, without further thought, Dom reached out and carefully popped the button of Matt's trousers open and then slowly, teasingly so, caught the zipper of Matt's fly between his finger and thumb and carefully began to pull it downward, tooth by painfully slow tooth. Matt's adorable sigh of relief from the release of the restrictive pressure, only helped further aid Dom's adoration for the other man and he leaned forward to gift the tent in Matt's red plaid boxers a gentle peck.  
  
The brunet's breath momentarily caught audibly at the action, before Dom, giving an eyebrow wiggle to Matt, who was propped up on his elbows to get a better look, reached forward to pull Matt's jeans down his thighs, taking his boxers with in the process. Matt lifted his hips up a bit to assist and groaned now with more relief, when his hard arousal could finally spring free and was hit with the cool air.  
  
At the sound, paired with the welcoming sight of the other man's cock, Dom abandoned Matt's pants around his calves, to instead kiss and lightly lick up along the brunet's inner thighs, which seemed to turn to jelly under his expert touch.  
  
"That feels so amazing," Matt sighed, spreading his legs further open, prompting the blond to look back up at him briefly.  
  
Matt, with his lazy, pupil-heavy eyes trained intensely on him, made him have to hold back a grin as he gifted the crease between the brunet's crotch and inner thigh with feather light kisses. His stomach was aflutter with warm little sparks, which felt like tiny flames, lapping and licking at his insides, their warming effect letting him know that what he felt for the other man went far deeper than simple lust.  
  
"Amazing... but..." He didn't have to say it, as Dom easily took in the way Matt's impatient cock twitched, the close proximity of his mouth not going unnoticed.  
  
"But you'd rather I sucked you off?" Dom grinned up at the brunet, Matt's cheeks tinting rather a bit.  
  
"Well, you don't have to, seriously. I don't wanna–"  
  
"Relax, Matt. Sheesh, since when are you so selfless? It may have been a while, but I still remember your sexual appetite quite vividly – plus the other night proved the fact to still hold true," Dom pointed out, not quite sure if he would ruin the mood entirely by mentioning their previous illicit act. The last thing he wanted was to spook Matt off, not when he had him like this, so vulnerable and open to him.  
  
"True, can't exactly argue with that, now can I?" was Matt's answer instead, the brunet choosing to shake off any awkwardness. This was Dom – his Dom – he could say anything to him. Be anything around him. He didn't have to deny or hide anything from the blond.  
  
"S'more like it," Dom grinned, before looking back down at the tempting, engorged flesh before him. "So beautiful." The words more slipped past his filters than were intentionally spoken, as he allowed a finger to trace along a prominent vein, which practically pulsed below his touch, exciting and tightening his trousers' crotch impossibly even more so.  
  
Not completely sure what he should say, Matt was trying to think of something, when suddenly the blond's pink tongue stuck out and licked up a wet line from the base of his cock to the darker head, before repeating the step and making Matt whimper with want.  
  
A self-satisfied smirk threatening to take over his face, Dom then moved in for the kill, curling his left hand around the base of Matt's dick so that he was able to hold it in place in order for him to drag the tip of his tongue through Matt's slit, knowing that it used to drive the brunet wild. The action prompted an immediate cry from him and Dom just grinned internally. Yip, he still knew how to work Matt better than anyone. He suspected even better than a certain other blonde, after all she lacked certain... assets. But then the same could be said about him in other aspects too...  
  
"You enjoying yourself?" Matt's teasing words brought him swiftly back to the present and, looking at the other man's amused expression, he realised he'd frozen mid thought with his tongue sticking out of his mouth and hovering just above the tip of Matt's dick.  
  
"Sorry, my thoughts ran away with me," he grinned back sheepishly, and before the brunet could come up with something witty to mock him with, he quickly shut him up, by spitting into his palm and then bringing it to support the other man's shaft, sucking the tip of Matt's cock into his mouth.  
  
The sight of Dom's full, pink lips sucking over his cockhead, made Matt moan. If there was one thing the blond could do well, it was give head.  
  
Dom tightened his hold on the base of Matt's cock with his left hand, before he began to suck his cheeks in and take more of Matt's length into the hot, wet cavern of his mouth. His mouth now having formed the perfect vacuum, he then let his right hand cup the brunet's balls in turn. He was of course rewarded with breathy mewls as his clever fingers worked the silken skin of them, gently kneading, while his teeth began to drag teasingly over Matt's rigid shaft.  
  
Dominic then allowed his tongue to travel up along the hard, sensitive skin, tracing along a pulsing vein, as he took Matt in as far as he could, before pulling back a bit and then establishing a good bobbing rhythm in which to work the brunet's cock with his mouth.  
  
It wasn't long before he felt long fingers slide through his hair, trying to find purchase as their owner moaned and cried out, quickly beginning to lose control of himself. Dom could feel the way Matt's balls seemed to tighten in his hand, while the other picked up the pace of its pumping action on the base of Matt's cock.  
  
The brunet was positively thrusting up every now and again when he couldn't hold back the coil in his hips, the natural instinct too strong to fight and Dom's mouth far too inviting. At one stage Dom couldn't help an instinctive gag as Matt's dick hit a bit too far back. He knew how to give amazing head, but being able to deep throat had never been one of his many sexual attributes, though, however, he couldn't help but recall the fact that the man he was currently pleasuring had an uncanny gift for such a thing.  
  
"S-sorry," came back a breathy gasp from Matt, raspy with lust and clearly on the brink, if the sound of his voice was anything to go by.  
  
"S'mmookay," Dom tried to grunt around Matt, the resulting vibrations around his cock only helping to make the brunet shudder more, as he already found himself teetering on the edge.  
  
So, smiling to himself, Dom began to hum sweetly, as he increased the pumping on the base of Matt's cock, squeezing tighter and corkscrewing his fist, and then scraped his teeth gently along its shaft some more. He may not be able to sing in key, but he could certainly hum.  
  
" _Uunngghhh,_ s'that you humming?" Matt gasped, the tightly wound coil in his gut dying to release and his lower spine feeling on fire. He needed to come, badly.  
  
"Mm-hmm," was all it took and suddenly Dom felt warm, creamy cum shoot down his throat. Matt crying out Dom's name, as his fingers knotted tightly in the blond's hair and his body was left an overwhelming, tingling mess of sensations that all led to one thing: pure pleasure.  
  
Matt's load came slightly earlier than expected and at such a rate that Dom didn't have much option except to just swallow. Not that he wouldn't have anyway, mind. As he sucked every last drop, milking the last from him, he felt Matt go limp beneath him, his dick beginning to soften between the blond's beautifully swollen lips too.  
  
"Enjoy that?" Dom eventually asked, finally letting the other man's cock fall from his lips. His jaw was aching a bit if he were honest, so Matt's slightly early climax had at least rescued him from an even more embarrassingly stiff jaw.  
  
The brunet just grunted in reply, his arms now stretched up above him on the bed, causing his beloved and faded periodic tee to ride up, the skinny trail of dark hair leading up to his navel, now more visible to the blond's hungry eyes.  
  
"'Cause you certainly came rather quickly, not to mention hard – caught me a bit by surprise," Dom grinned, resting the side of his face on Matt's warm inner thigh, his left hand lightly caressing the soft skin of the opposite one.  
  
Matt just groaned, rolling his eyes in his head, eyelids still shut, the only movement he could manage at present. He hadn't been sucked off like that in years, nor had he come quite so powerfully – not to mention so soon. His last orgasm had been with the blond, but that had been about two or so weeks ago and he'd felt too bad to even rub one out – thoughts of Dom all he was capable of – let alone touch Leah since. He'd been punishing himself, only to end up like this, coming at Dom's hand (well, mouth) in the end anyway.  
  
Smirking at the utterly fucked state of Matt, without having to even be fucked, Dom allowed his hand to travel higher, tickling along a prominent hipbone. Gifting the tip of Matt's still sensitive cock, which was inches from his face anyway, with a sweet peck, he then lifted his head and began trailing kisses and tugs from his teeth to the crisp, dark hair around the base of the other man's dick.  
  
"W-what are you doing?" Matt finally managed to ask, one of his arms flung over his eyes, his hips slightly squirming at the foreign sensation. "Are you gnawing on my pubes?"  
  
_"Maaaybe,"_ Dom grinned, curling his tongue a bit in the hair as he followed it toward Matt's happy trail.  
  
"You're bizarre," Matt grumbled, but there was no mistaking the affectionate undertone, making a familiar heat spread through the blond.  
  
Dom just hummed, rather taken that he was actually able to now properly reacquaint himself with Matt's body, the other man's finished state having reduced all his usual fidgeting too.  
  
Matt had definitely filled out the sharp angles a bit, Dom thought, as he tugged and lapped at the trail of hair which led from those of his crotch. Yet he couldn't help noticing that he'd only succeeded in rounding his stomach a bit really, his limbs and the rest still as sharp and slender as before.  
  
As he got higher, nearing the other man's bellybutton, Matt lowered his hands and tried to tug down his old t-shirt.  
  
"What?" Dom asked, confused by his sudden rejection.  
  
"Don't want you to do that," was all Matt said, his posture now looking anything but relaxed, as he eyed Dom down the length of his body.  
  
"But why?" Dom asked, still completely lost, but Matt only muttered a reply. "Pardon? Come on, Matt, why not?"  
  
Matt took a deep breath and looked back at Dom as he sat up, the blond still positioned between his thighs. "It makes me uncomfortable," he finally replied, quietly.  
  
"And why's that? It never used to," Dom asked, genuinely still clueless.  
  
"That's 'cause I wasn't... fat then." His words were barely a whisper  
  
"'Fat'? Oh come on, Matt, you're not fat. I don't know what planted that ridiculous thought in your head, but you're not," Dom assured him, completely taken aback.  
  
Matt just raised an eyebrow. "Let's be serious, just look," he said, grabbing his stomach and bunching it up under the red t-shirt. "And then you, well fuck, yours is flat an' all! You're looking impossibly even more fucking amazing and I've just let myself go."  
  
"Oh, Matt," Dom sighed, " _You_ look fucking amazing and you always have. The small bit of softness just adds to making you look even cuter," he argued, putting his hands over the brunet's, which were still pinching the softness of his stomach.  
  
Matt just looked down at their hands and the slight protrusion of his stomach, which sitting hunched had only added to.  
  
"But... I'm not supposed to look cute. _Cute_ is for little animals and kids. I'm in my thirties for God's sake! I should look _sexy_ , not... cute," he pouted, fingers tightening their hold meanly.  
  
"Oi, you're both and one's never too old to look cute. I think it's an extremely attractive characteristic," Dom insisted, pulling Matt's hands away to stop the self-inflicted punishment.  
  
Matt just continued to raise an eyebrow sceptically, unable to see what the blond saw. "You really are bizarre."  
  
"Oh stuff it," Dom laughed, getting to his feet. "I used to always have the puppy squidginess, now it's just your turn," he grinned, pushing Matt over onto his back again. "Besides, I do recall you poking fun at it too – oh the irony."  
  
"Shut the fuck up," Matt grumbled, but couldn't hold back a smile, even when Dom began rolling up his tee with one hand, the other restraining Matt's hands above his head now.  
  
"Always so silken and flawlessly pale," Dom grinned at Matt, before leaning down and nuzzling his uncovered stomach, placing soft little kisses to the alabaster skin.  
  
Matt wriggled a bit beneath him, but didn't put up anymore protest. That is until Dom ran his tongue around his bellybutton before dipping it in. The brunet instantly shot up in the air, squealing and giggling, the sensation too ticklish for him to bear, his skin also still hypersensitive from having come to orgasm not too long ago.  
  
"Ah-huh! Also always so ticklish!"  
  
"No, don't you dare!" Matt squealed, but to no use, as he was then under attack, Dom's fingers hunting down all his ticklish spots which he'd mentally mapped out years ago.  
  
It didn't take long for Matt to be reduced to a similar state as his earlier one: breathless, his heart hammering and chest rapidly rising and falling, before Dom let him be. The sight before him went straight to Dom's already previously hardening cock, and when he shifted in his position straddling the brunet, he was met with an answering hardness. Now this was more the sort of tickle fight he recalled having with Matt.  
  
"Still a kinky little pixie then?"  
  
"Ugh, I told you then, like I'll tell you now, I don't appreciate being called a pixie. I'm not that small, and besides, do these look pointy to you?" Matt protested grabbing onto his ears for emphasis.  
  
"They may not be pointy, but most of the rest of you is," Dom grinned back, moving down to sit on the brunet's thighs, so that he could rub the two prominent hipbones to prove his point. "And I hate to break it to you, but you are a slight little thing."  
  
"Oi, Howard, traipsing on thin ice you are," Matt growled, suddenly finding enough strength to bowl the blond over to the side and switch their positions.  
  
"I'd like to see you catch me though, you still have your pants around your legs," Dom pointed out smugly, bucking his hips upwards.  
  
"Well you still have everything on, which I don't quite believe is acceptable, considering my junk's already hanging out," Matt countered, getting up to remove the last of his clothes.  
  
"Ha, s'not like it ever stopped you from sauntering about starkers before!" Dom pointed out with a smirk, as he pulled his trainers and socks off, before starting on the rest of his jogging clothes.  
  
"Hey, I don't see why you're complaining, we both know you liked it," Matt laughed, gallantly offering his services to help undress the blond.  
  
"Ugh, I stink," Dom said, wrinkling his nose as he gave his underarm a sniff, instead of answering as they both already knew the answer. "How did you let me be all over you like that?"  
  
"My cock was in your mouth – I was hardly about to complain about much. Besides," he replied, moving over to circle his arms around the blond's waist, his nose nuzzling the side of a bronzed neck. "You smell hot, manly, eau de Dom... missed it. Fuck, I missed you." As he said it, Dom could feel the evidence of such pushing up against his lower back, in the form of Matt's very much reawakened dick.  
  
As soon as Dom's shocked brain managed to process the brunet's words, Matt suddenly found himself pushed up against the wall, the blond's full lips pushed hard against his own, a strong hand knotting in his dark hair and the other curled tightly (possessively) on a hip.  
  
The way Dom thrust his tongue into the other man's mouth was nothing short of direct, before, regaining his senses, Matt came to the party too. The brunet latched onto his tongue and sucked, his hands travelling down Dom's smooth back, grabbing onto his firm arse and trying to pull him even closer, their hardened arousals rubbing in a way that made both men cry out.  
  
"Wanna fuck you so bad," Matt panted into Dom's ear, when the blond had moved to suck and lick at his sharp collarbones, squeezing the nicely muscled mounds of flesh in his grip.  
  
Dom's cock twitched in response and he groaned, lifting his head to look back at the brunet with his pupil-filled greys. "Well, what are you waiting for?"  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
_The image of a skinny man, who was curled up on a sofa, his back facing the camera, came into view. He had powder-blue hair and not a stitch of clothing in sight to cover his porcelain-white skin.  
  
"Oi, Matt! You fell asleep watching TV again," a voice behind the camera called, rousing the sleeping man, his arms sticking out to stretch as he rolled forward onto his stomach, his ghostly white bum making itself known in his new position.  
  
"Mmm, s'not my fault, not after all the running you've been making me do," the man on camera replied, beginning to stretch his limbs out, popping his joints. "Now I guess I've missed my show?" he yawned, turning his head, only for his eyes to stare directly at the camera. "Dom, surely you're bored of that damn thing by now?"  
  
"Ah-uh, wanted to show you how you always streak around the place. Keep the memory for prosperity, you know?"  
  
"Thought you wanted to show this stuff to 'the grandkids'," the man on film giggled, voice still sleep heavy, as he lazily stretched out like a cat, peachy arse in the air.  
  
"Well... seeing as we already have some, er, private material, why not add a little more to it?" the cameraman reasoned, walking forward as the camera image grew closer to the blue-haired man.  
  
"Hmm, and how 'private' would this particular video be?" the man on camera asked, now curled up in on himself, the curve of his arse still pointing upward.  
  
"Well..." the cameraman began, coming to a stop a little before the sofa the man was on.  
  
"This okay?" the blue-haired man grinned mischievously, before suddenly flipping over, throwing one leg over the back of the couch, but with his long, fine hands covering his crotch.  
  
"Well, uh, y-yeah, I can't see why, er, not–"  
  
"And this?" A dark eyebrow was raised cheekily as the man on film's hands abandoned their task, now covering his mouth in mock shock.  
  
"Hmm, definitely not showing the masses now..."  
  
"And how about now?" the man continued, bringing one hand down, to allow his left index finger to circle a dark nipple.  
  
"Well, I–"  
  
"And if I were to..." with this, he then dragged his right hand down his body, before curling his index finger and thumb to circle his hardening cock.  
  
"Oh God, Matt," the cameraman groaned, the footage shaking a little. "Fuck, you're shameless."  
  
"Hmm, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, speak to me, Dommeh," he encouraged, bringing his right hand up to lick a long line down the palm, before returning it to now tug and squeeze himself, watching the way he grew and hardened under his touch with arousal heavy eyes.  
  
"You, sir, are a complete _ slut _," the cameraman commented, but the way he drew out the 'S' in a moan gave away his attitude toward the developments.  
  
"Your slut," the blue-haired man winked, biting down on his fuller bottom lip, as his hips bucked into his hand.  
  
"Fuck, Matt," came another groan from off camera, as the cameraman fumbled with the camcorder, the image blurring a bit as it moved.  
  
"Are you just gonna stand there and talk? Why don't you come and join me?" the man on film coaxed, releasing himself so that he could start sucking on his first three fingers instead, eyes fluttering shut, as he himself, now began to moan too.  
  
"Fuck it."  
  
The footage blurred some more, the camera being lowered as it was dumped on something. A table. The camera now had an eye level view of the blue-haired man's skinny torso, as his left hand continued to circle and tweak his nipples, his stomach muscles fluttering, before the backs of skinny, tanned legs and an arse clad in white shorts that went down to the second man's mid-thighs got in the way. The cameraman taking up his boyfriend's proposition.  
  
"You best take these off," the first man's voice suggested, the sight now of his naked torso beneath the other man who was wearing a grey tee with his shorts, his long, skinny fingers pulling at the white shorts' waistband.  
  
The clothed man just ground down on the smaller man beneath him, as those long fingers tugged the shorts low enough for a flash of the curve of the man above's arse.  
  
The man on top just grunted, sitting up a bit on top of the blue-haired man, the camera only managing to fit in the view of his chest and down. His fingers curled on the hem of his shirt before he pulled it up and off. The sight of his tanned torso came into view, just before the flutter of his grey t-shirt came sailing at the camera, before cutting out the image of the two lovers entirely._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so good news and bad news. Good: this is one of my very favourite chapters and is pretty damn long. Bad: I won't really be able to keep up with the weekly updates as RL is getting hectic and I'm trying to finish off my degree now. I will do my best though. I hope you enjoy this x

_The footage came on to show a young man with messy, pitch-black hair, lying spread out like a starfish in a field of wild flowers and lush green grass, his eyes closed and expression that of one daydreaming, cheeks flushed pink.  
  
“You’re filming me, aren’t you?” the man asked, one of his eyebrows lifting suspiciously, but eyes remaining shut, as the footage zoomed in a little onto his face and upper body, revealing a sheen of sweat along his forehead.  
  
“How’d you know?” another man’s voice asked from off camera. The cameraman.  
  
“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are. I saw you stash the camcorder in your rucksack before we left. Ugh, I’m all sweaty and no doubt bright pink too.”  
  
“You look cute. Besides, I told you this place was special, didn’t I? Definitely worth the little hike,” the cameraman’s voice said, the footage going wobbly and even closer to the man on film, as he clearly walked over.  
  
“‘Little’ hike? We walked for like two hours, Dom,” the black-haired man grumbled, finally opening his eyes to reveal bright blue irises, as he brought up a hand to shield them from the sunlight streaming down.  
  
“Worth it though,” the cameraman insisted, the footage dropping level, before then just blurring as he could be heard grunting. When it stabilized again, it was to show a close up on the black-haired man’s face, as well as that of a man with bright blond hair – the cameraman, holding the camera above them – now lying beside him in the lush grass.  
  
The black-haired man turned his head to face the blond, only to roll his blue eyes. The affectionate smile that curled his lips though, gave his true feelings away.  
  
The blond turned his head to face him back, his answering smile was toothy and wide. “You love it here.”  
  
“Hmm… I suppose the view’s not too bad,” the black-haired man offered with a shrug, his eyes not leaving the other man.  
  
“You’re so full of shit.”  
  
The two men just burst into giggles then, before the black-haired one craned his neck forward to capture the blond’s in a tender kiss.  
  
When they pulled apart, both grinning stupidly at one another, the black-haired man reached out toward the camera. “But, yeah, it’s beautiful here. You picked a lovely place for a weekend away. You’re like the best ever boyfriend. Oh my God. You should always choose where we go from now on.”  
  
The blond gaped back at the other man, who was positively grinning wickedly away now.  
  
“You’re the worst,” the blond grumbled, as the camera footage wobbled a bit and the muffled sound of him switching his hold on the camera could be heard.  
  
“I’m the best. Now, c’mon, let’s put this away and properly explore…”  
  
There was then some more muffled fumbling sounds as the footage struggled to remain stable, before just cutting right off._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
After finally getting round to having that much needed shower, Dominic, a powder blue towel slung low on his hips, walked back into his bedroom, his skin still steamy and glistening with water perspiration. He felt sore and could already sense the following day's stiffness, but it was all only in the best of ways.  
  
It had been a while since he'd been so thoroughly fucked and brought to the most satisfying of orgasms by someone who just seemed to fit him so perfectly. But then it had been Matthew. He'd forgotten – perhaps more accurately: made himself forget – just how amazing it was to have the brunet inside him. The sensation like nothing and no one else he'd ever experienced. Matthew was a tentative and generous lover, with an undeniable gift in matters of the bedroom. Not to mention the fact that he was also gifted in certain other, proportional, areas...  
  
Smiling, perhaps a bit too smugly, to himself, Dom found that Matthew had barely moved since their brief separation, the brunet clearly having just fallen asleep on Dom's comfy bed while he'd showered. The past few weeks of sleepless nights had clearly caught up.  
  
His smile quickly turned to one of affection at the sight. Matt's mussed toffee-coloured hair poofing all over wildly and hiding most of his face, which wasn't smooshed into the pillow, his small lips parted ever so slightly. Of course the fact that Matt was also still buck naked and in his bed, the sheet only covering one of his legs still, leaving the rest of his creamy skin vulnerable to Dom's – very much interested – eyes, meant that he _could_ only smile.  
  
The sight of Matt's small, but peachy backside and the cute dimples above it, which the blond had always loved, had Dom biting his full bottom lip. His smile only grew more mischievous when his gaze then travelled to the one long, uncovered foot, its unprotected sole just crying out to him.  
  
Trying to resist going straight for a well-known vulnerable spot of the brunet's, Dom decided he should rather choose a different approach. So, being as quiet as possible, he crept over and bent low to place a soft, chaste kiss to Matt's uncovered ankle, the pointy bone easy to locate. When the action didn't immediately earn a response from the sleeping man, Dom just proceeded to leave a trail of similar such kisses, up along Matt's slim, pale leg. This time, the brunet stirred some, his leg twitching a bit under the blond's adoring lips.  
  
"Hmmm," came a sleepy hum, muffled somewhat by a pillow, as Dom then planted a sweet kiss to each of the twin dimples at the base of Matt's spine, before dragging his tongue over the same spots, causing the brunet to raise his bum somewhat in reflex.  
  
Sensing that Matt was most definitely waking, Dom decided he couldn't resist any longer and finally turned his attention to one of the small, temptingly juicy globes before him.  
  
"DOMINIC!" came a high-pitched squawk, as Dom sank his teeth into the supple, yet firm flesh of Matt's right arse cheek.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist," Dom apologised, yet chuckled, completely unrepentant, as the brunet huffed and blindly swatted at him.  
  
Dom simply caught the defensive hand's delicate wrist and pressed a kiss to the inside of it too, before he then began to repeat the trail of kisses up along Matt's arm, as he hopped up onto the bed and allowed his lips to travel up the way to kiss along the other man's shoulder. Matt couldn't help but wriggle in a mix of ticklishness and pleasure under the unexpected onslaught, which had awoken him from his short nap.  
  
Eventually he flipped onto his back, Dom still leaning over him, as he pulled his arm out of the blond's grasp and used it to cover his sleepy eyes. "Was tryin'a sleep, wanker," he grumbled, but Dom could see a smile was threatening to break through, Matt's lips twitching.  
  
As Matt brought his other arm up in an attempt to hide the smile he couldn't hold back anymore, Dom seized his opportunity and nabbed both arms and pinned both either side of the brunet's face.  
  
"Ugh, Dom, you're a menace," Matt insisted, but when his sleepy blue eyes finally opened up to look back up into the smiling grey of the blond's, he could only smile back.  
  
"There's that smile," Dom grinned triumphantly and leaned down the last couple inches to press a firm kiss onto the now positively smiling lips of the slight brunet.  
  
After a brief mingling of slow, wet kisses, tongues lapping and stroking one another tenderly, they parted to breathe and simply look back at one another, both still not quite believing that any of this was actually indeed taking place. Thoughts of why they'd originally parted and their new lives beginning to creep back into the little world they'd seemingly created for themselves and threatening to spoil it all.  
  
"You brushed your teeth too," Matt commented, wishing to shut everything off again and to end this sudden worry of the uncertain. It was just the two of them. In this moment, in the world, it was just Dominic and Matthew. Nothing else. No one else.  
  
"Er, yeah. Thought I may as well, while I was at it. Besides, I do believe I can recall you once saying you loved minty kisses."  
  
"You remembered that?" Matt asked, dark brows rising in genuine surprise.  
  
"Mmm-hmm," came Dom's suddenly shy response, as he moved back down the smaller man's body, embarrassedly hiding his face against the warm softness of his slight belly.  
  
Matt squirmed a bit, but tried to get comfortable with having Dom paying his stomach so much attention – the blond had clearly formed some kind of fixation. Great.  
  
"You're so silly," Dom commented, perhaps more to himself, as his hands clutched each of Matt's hips to hold the brunet still, before he stuck his pink tongue out a bit to lap at the sparse trail of dark hairs leading down from the other man's navel.  
  
"Says the man with an apparent obsession with my fat and pubes," Matt muttered back, only to suddenly explode into giggles as Dom sneakily snuck his tongue inside Matt's bellybutton to give it a few good swirls in retaliation.  
  
Grinning triumphantly, Dom eventually took mercy on the squirming brunet and instead looked back up at his face. Matt's eyes were crinkled in the corners with laughter, his hair still crowning his head madly and adorably wonky tooth curling his top lip in an endearingly lovely smile. Dom was almost certain he felt his heart swell at the sight. Even after all these years and everything that had changed, Dom just couldn't help feeling the way he did, regardless of all the current facts and impossibilities or the way he'd been so badly hurt in the past.  
  
But when Dom shifted a bit to give Matt a gap to breathe easier, his eyes unintentionally landed on the face of his alarm clock and suddenly Dom was forced to acknowledge reality, no matter how perfect this little fantasy was.  
  
"Er, Matt..." he began, laying back down now alongside the other man, who turned on his side to face Dom.  
  
"Hmm?" he asked, eyes still dreamy from sleep and his smile still lingering in the corners of his lips. He reached across the short distance then to brush a lock of blond hair behind Dom's ear as he turned to mirror Matt's position.  
  
"Um, uh, I-I don't want to sound... rude, but, erm, when do you have to get back? It's already well after two..." Dom asked, his stomach squirming uncomfortably, not wanting to broach what they both had been trying to ignore. He wanted Matt to stay – forever if he could have his way – but the fact was that Matt _did_ have another life, a life which he couldn't just now ignore. He had a wife and a family who would notice his absence and miss him.  
  
At Dom's words, Matt's eyes widened ever so subtly. "Shit, seriously?! Where did the time go?" he wondered aloud, rolling back onto his back with a heavy sigh.  
  
"You have to go now then?" Dom asked, raising himself up on his forearm to look down properly at the brunet, his heart's turn to now clench uncomfortably. Suddenly he felt awkward and unsure in his own house.  
  
Sensing the blond's unease and admittedly also giving into his own desire, Matt turned back to face Dom.  
  
"Erm, well... I'm sure I could stay another hour or so? Of course if you don't want me to, I could–"  
  
"No, no. Please, I feel selfish saying it, but not ashamed enough to deny the fact that I'd love it if you did. But don't feel pressured into it, I don't want you to, I don't know, get into shit or something," Dom said with a dry laugh, the events from earlier playing through his mind. They'd long since passed the point of just 'getting into shit'.  
  
"Well, it's Leah's day to pick up the kids from school and daycare; Tuesday's usually my busy day. It won't be suspicious at all if I'm home late. I took the day off though to come confront you and sort this shit out – so much for that, eh?" Matt said, hands pointedly motioning toward the fact that he was very naked, not to mention in bed with the blond. "God, I’m an awful person..."  
  
Smiling sadly at the brunet, Dom moved closer to squeeze Matt's shoulder. "You're not at all. I'm the one that cornered you in the park, kissed you first that night and grabbed you today. I'm the one pulling a married father of two into something..."  
  
"Oi, I'm the one that was so easily swayed though!" Matt continued to argue.  
  
"Okay, that's true – but who could blame you anyway, eh?" Dom laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere. Matt and him just didn't – couldn't – do anything too seriously. It just wasn't them.  
  
'Them'. Was there a 'them' again now?  
  
"We're both just as much to blame," Dom concluded, sighing as he rested his head on Matt's shoulder, the brunet instinctively wrapping his arms around him. The incredible warmth radiating from his pale flesh a familiar, old comfort.  
  
"So... This is a 'something' then, is it?" Matt abruptly asked, Dom's eyes blowing wide.  
  
Shit, was Matt now upset about that? He hadn't meant anything like that... Had he? He had. Come on. He couldn't just stop seeing Matt now, not after he'd been reacquainted with what he'd lost. The other man's steady heart beat, easily audible from their current proximity, and slender arms cradling him brought the kind of comfort and reassurance Dominic had never been able to find anywhere else.  
  
"Um, I, uh..." Only, how to vocalise it to Matthew, in a way he'd understand...  
  
"'Cause – ugh, fuck, I _am_ a dreadful human being – but I'd... I'd really like that? I'd understand if you felt uncomfortable or straight out just didn't want that though. I mean, who am I to ask you to be in that kind of position anyway?" Matt's arms seemed to loosen, uncertain, from around the blond. He felt awful. What was he even thinking? How could he even contemplate doing that to his family: to Leah, to Sammy and Elliot? Let alone how Dom would feel, he didn't deserve to be anyone's dirty secret.  
  
Yet, here Matt was, actually asking that of him. Having already done as much to his family.  
  
"Shut up, Matt. Let's... let's just not over analyse any of this, let's just be and do. If we spend too long fretting and obsessing, we'll just end up blowing a fuse or something. We are what we are and this is what it is."  
  
Shit, had he really just said that? Dom shook his head and looked back at Matt. It wouldn't hurt if he followed his own advice too. It felt too right when they were together and both of them knew it.  
  
  
===  
  
  
"And how was it today?" Leah asked, clearly disinterested but trying to prove a point. Trying to prove that she cared more than him.  
  
Their marital issues had begun long before Dominic's reappearance in Matthew's life, in fact they'd been there long before the wedding even. They'd of course just been getting worse as the years went on...  
  
"Erm, like it always is?" came Matt's reply, on the inside he felt terrible for lying like this and about what had really happened, but on the outside he seemed just as cool and disinterested.  
  
"Oh. Well I guess you could say the same about mine then," Leah said, figuring she may as well skip the part where he too pretended to give a shit about her workday.  
  
"Okay," Matt nodded, helping set the table as Leah plated the dinner, poached fish and boiled veg. _Oh joys_ , Matt thought.  
  
"Samantha, food!" Leah called out, Elliot already fast asleep in his crib, the little girl then came running in from the TV room, before taking her seat at one of the chairs.  
  
Matt then went over to help push her chair in for her, popping a quick peck on the top of her head, as Leah brought their plates over, before pouring herself a tall glass of white wine. Grumbling to himself, Matt went and poured himself a glass too, Leah clearly not offering to do so, instead choosing to raise an eyebrow as she watched him like a hawk.  
  
Wine glass in hand, he eventually sat down and looked at his plate to be reminded that, oh yes, health food...  
  
Noticing Matt's lacklustre approach to his dinner some time later, which seemed to match Sammy's as she poked at an offending carrot, Leah coughed pointedly.  
  
"There a problem, Matt? Don't you like your dinner?"  
  
"Er..." He had to be careful how he approached this, he certainly didn't want to upset her. She’d also cooked for them after all – though it was a rather well known fact to her by now that Matt wasn’t exactly the best cook around. "Nothing, nothing."  
  
"Sammy, stop playing with your food and eat it!" she disciplined the little girl, who'd started to pull faces at the plain and blanched looking food. "See, Matthew, you're teaching our daughter bad manners. Not to mention to lie."  
  
That stung Matt, after all that's exactly what he was doing: lying. Unknown to Leah, though, what he was lying about went a whole lot further than whether or not he liked the food...  
  
"Okay, fine. I don't like it. What's up with the boring, plain food anyway?" he ventured, bracing himself for the inevitable lash back.  
  
Instead of shouting though, Leah simply returned to her food, cutting a piece of fish neatly for herself, before glancing back up at her husband.  
  
"It's healthy, low fat food. I think you should go on a diet. I've told you, you've been getting rather porky lately. So, as a family we're joining in and supporting you," she said simply, before popping the piece of fish into her mouth.  
  
Matt's cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and anger, as he set down his knife and fork, whatever hunger he'd had instantly killed.  
  
"Daddy's porky?" Sammy asked innocently, leaning in her seat to get a better look at Matt, oblivious of her father's clenched jaw and hardening eyes.  
  
"Yes, why when we first met he was a skinny thing for sure – perhaps even a bit _too_ skinny – but as of recently he's been getting a bit of a belly. You see, Sammy, you have to be careful of what you eat, you can't just eat whatever you want. You've got to be healthy to live happily," Leah replied, ignoring Matt's clearly bubbling temper, as she just continued to calmly eat her food. "Now eat, sweetheart."  
  
_And what, that's what you are, living happily? I somehow very much doubt that. Otherwise you wouldn't be such a bitter, controlling cow._  
  
Closing his eyes and breathing out his nose quickly, in an attempt to cool down – he couldn't blow up at Leah in front of Sammy, no matter how badly he wanted to – Matt chose to shut his mouth and instead then pushed his chair out, got up and left without a word, his food still untouched. Leah didn’t bother calling after him, but rater instructed Sammy to finish her food first before she could rush off too.  
  
  
===  
  
  
Matt lay in bed some hours later, unable to sleep, his insomnia – something he'd been fighting most of his life – seemingly having been worsened due to his guilty conscience, keeping him up. Thoughts of Dominic, Leah, the past and present and his children swam around in his head, as he turned to his side, facing into the pitch dark room, Leah and him both as far apart as the bed allowed.  
  
So... He was, for all intents and purposes, officially now having an affair with his ex boyfriend, while his wife, who was clueless of the fact he even swung that way too, was imposing a diet upon him; all in all risking the happy, yet perhaps delusionally so, lives of his kids.  
  
Well, he was definitely an awful person, the state of his marriage not nearly a good enough reason. He was selfish. Beyond selfish. Even Dom was innocent in this, a victim too of Matt’s own personal greed.  
  
Frowning away to himself, lost in his thoughts, Matt nearly leapt into the ceiling when a little, clammy hand reached out and grabbed his own hand, which stuck over the edge of the mattress as his head lay atop his arm.  
  
"Daddy, I can't sleep," came Sammy's little voice, while his heart pounded away madly in his chest.  
  
"Bloody hell," he cursed, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat, Sammy's little fingers just curling tighter around his slender, long ones.  
  
"Daddy!" she gasped as loudly as she dared, both still acutely aware of Leah sleeping not too far away.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, Monkey. You just gave Daddy a big fright," he explained apologetically, gently squeezing her hand back. He hated swearing in front of the kids, no matter how minor the words he'd used were.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't sleep and got scared. Can I sleep with you again, please?"  
  
In the dim lighting Matt could just make out the way her eyes shined pleadingly in the darkness, her lips pouting.  
  
"Sammy..."  
  
"I know, I know, Mummy hates it and says I'm too old now. But... but... please?" The way her little hand seemed to tighten its hold on his own then, made his heart ache.  
  
Stuff Leah's rules, he was already double crossing the poor woman so much, what difference would one more do? Besides he'd already broken this one and why not just do something that was actually not selfish and was rather genuinely beneficial to someone else.  
  
"Come on then," he said and made a big show of sighing, which prompted some giggling from the little girl as she gratefully clambered up and into his waiting arms.  
  
They shuffled around a bit until both were comfortable, Sammy neatly tucked in his safe embrace, her face resting against his chest, the rhythmic beating of his – now relaxed – heart soothing and reassuring her.  
  
"Daddy..."  
  
"Hmm, yes, Monkey?" he asked, eyes suddenly feeling heavy as he sleepily stroked her long hair affectionately.  
  
"I like your tummy," she murmured, now also feeling sleepy at last, her arms holding onto him too, little fingers clutching onto his tee. "You're nice and cosy to cuddle, like a big teddy."  
  
"Erm, thanks?" he chuckled softly, Sammy poking him in the afore mentioned area, before both settled down again, sleepy eyes drawing closed.  
  
Just before they drifted into dreams, they both said their customary ritual when going to sleep. Sammy, her face buried in Matt's tee, mumbled a sleepy little, "I love you, Daddy."  
  
"Love you more, Monkey."  
  
And not a minute passed before both were sound asleep, all Matthew's worries and doubts swept from his tired mind.  
  
  
===  
  
  
Dominic, similarly lay in bed, but was presently occupied with a strikingly different activity than sleeping.  
  
His mind too full of thoughts and the events of the past few weeks – especially of that day (Matt's scent, still lingering in his bedding, not helping at all) – to sleep, Dom had attempted to distract his mind with some TV. Of course there had been nothing decent this hour, old re-runs, cheesy, bad porn and monotonous infomercials not at all his cup of tea.  
  
It had been at about that point, sighing frustratedly to himself, his head on the very cushion Matt had fallen asleep on, the brunet's addictive aroma mingled with his own, that Dom's gaze had drifted to the sight of his cupboard. To be more specific: where he kept his shoes, behind which were the tapes.  
  
It had been a while since he'd subjected himself to the inevitable pain that came along with watching them. The last time had been when he'd just broken up with his most recent boyfriend – and second longest relationship after his one with Matt – hence the whole stint in self-improvement: longer, lighter hair and slimmer, trimmer, healthier physique.  
  
He'd cried himself silly, eating copious amounts of ice cream, while watching the tapes and cursing Matt bitterly throughout; blaming both the current and past heartbreak as results of the other man leaving him. The tapes a painful reminder of the happiest time of his life, the happiness then having been so suddenly and unexpectedly cut short.  
  
Despite the hurt they brought, Dom had never been able to rid himself of the damn things and now, as he lay in bed staring at the cupboard in the dark, he couldn't help thinking that perhaps that had been a small sign. A sign that Matt would come back to him. Though, the more cynical part of him couldn't help thinking, that he didn't _really_ have Matt back. At least not properly, he was now someone else's really.  
  
"Fuck it," Dom grumbled to himself as he got up and stumbled over to the cupboard in the darkness.  
  
He really shouldn't have been surprised that, only a few short minutes later, he had grabbed one of the first tapes and, having set up his ancient VCR machine, slid the tape in and waited for pictures to fill the currently fuzzy TV screen.  
  
When the tape then did begin to play, Dom sitting back to watch the familiar, although younger, men on film, the expected sadness and loss didn't immediately fill him, at least not to the same extent he'd always previously felt after Matt had left him all those years ago.  
  
The tape was one of the very first of the two of them, from the very early days of their relationship, and Dom would have been lying if he said he didn't feel a pang at the innocent happiness on their faces. He could easily remember the day it was made, the tape assisting in pulling a near perfect and detailed memory from his mind.  
  
It had been the first time he'd brought Matt back to meet Tom and Chris, in the flat they'd shared then and Tom had of course immediately gone and grabbed his camera, insisting on filming the 'first meeting interview'. Matt had briefly met both of them before, but not on such an 'official' occasion.  
  
So, there Matt and Dom sat, Dom barely a day over 21 and Matt several months shy of it. Matt's hair had been dyed black then and gelled meticulously, his skinny body only emphasised in the way the navy shirt he was wearing hung off his slight frame. In comparison, Dom still had quite a bit of puppy fat, his twiggy-like boyfriend only serving to make it all the more noticeable, Dom couldn't help notice with a cringe. The fact that his own hair had been cropped short and bleached to the extreme, along with his shiny gold shirt and track pants, also only helped add to the personal embarrassment.  
  
Dom also couldn't help a sad little smile as he looked back at his younger self, confidently carrying this ghastly look, which must have been the height of 'cool' at the time (or at least his idea of it), as he boldly took hold of a rather nervous looking Matt's skinny, long hand. Matt then glancing away from the camera, to shoot Dom a grateful smile, skew gnashers on full display.  
  
It had been at about that point when the two had discovered that going overboard on P.D.A. with one another was a sure way to rid themselves of Tom's pestering.  
  
As the tape eventually came to an end, the next clip about to start, Dom had already fallen asleep, his arms tightly wrapped around the pillow that smelt like Matt, his sizeable nose deeply buried in it.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
_"So, Matt, how did you and Dom meet?” the cameraman asked, the footage showing two young men, the one skinny with spiked black hair and the other a bleach blond. At the question the camera zoomed in on the black-haired one.  
  
“Oh c’mon, Tom, you already know the answer to that,” the blond said, only just fitting into the frame. The camera zoomed out a little to fit him in better.  
  
“Well, yeah, but if I’m gonna be doing a proper filmed interview of ‘meeting the best-mates-slash-roommates’, I wanna include all the basics. C’mon now, let Matt answer.”  
  
The blond on camera rolled his eyes, looking more annoyed than anything. The raven-haired man beside him was wide-eyed though, his attention completely focused nervously on the camera, which zoomed in a little more onto him again.  
  
“Erm, uh, we met at a house party several weeks ago? We were both into each other, the rest is history?” the skinny man offered, looking terribly awkward, his eyes shifting to the right, where the other man (currently off camera, aside from his hand which was laced with the black-haired man’s) was sitting beside him on the couch.  
  
“Aw, c’mon, Matt. That’s such a boring way to explain it. You should have heard Dom when he came back from that party – never heard the man wax poetic like that!” the cameraman said.  
  
“Really?” the raven-haired man could just be heard whispering to the blond, who had turned a bit pink, the camera having zoomed out to include him properly again.  
  
The blond nodded, prompting the other man to break out into a wide grin, both men seemingly just losing themselves in one another now.  
  
“Oi, hello? I’m still here,” the cameraman tried to reject, when the black-haired man had just leaned forward to kiss the blond, who eagerly responded, their kiss rapidly turning into far more of a snogging session. “Oi! C’mon.”  
  
The pair just continued to ignore him, remaining lip-locked.  
  
“Um, what exactly are you doing, Tom? Can’t lie, it’s a little weird, you filming our sofa being defiled.” another male voice could suddenly then be heard from somewhere else off camera, prompting the footage to quickly blur as the camera moved. It eventually settled on a tall man with thick, curly brown hair and a teasing smirk.  
  
“What? No, Chris, that’s not what I’m–”  
  
“Ah-huh sure.”  
  
“Chris it’s not!” the cameraman insisted before, “Oh for fuck’s sake, can you two please just get a room already? We’re still very much here!”  
  
There were some muttered curses and fumbling sounds, the camera dropping to show a warn grey carpet, before the footage finally cut out._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, hope this will make up for it and you'll enjoy! I'm still obviously buzzing from the Halloween Special (how crazily brilliant?!) so used that to get my arse into gear! Happy Halloween for this weekend guys! <3 
> 
> In this chapter: angst, sappy fluff and smut - basically what this entire fic is...

_“Why you still feel the need to pull that thing out wherever we go, is beyond me,” a blond man said, his image coming into focus. He was sitting against a blue wall, which had the Burger King logo painted onto it, beside a man with bright, daisy-yellow hair.  
  
“’s’a compulsion now, he can’t help himself,” came a fairly muffled response from off camera, as though the owner of the voice had something in his mouth.  
  
“Eww, Chrissy, don’t speak with your mouth full!” The camera then moved to instead film a tall man with messy brunet curls, who indeed was busy devouring a large burger, and a small woman with long, dark hair who was busy stealing his chips and blushed, caught out, when the camera turned on them. “Filming is my hobby, I don’t judge you for incessantly prattling on about football, do I now? Anyway I thought this would be worth getting on film, I mean, the burger’s bigger than Matt is!”  
  
The camera then swung back to film the man with yellow hair, before dipping down to zoom in on a plate in front of him, which contained a rather large burger, consisting of a few patties and layers of cheese and bun and then went back to settle once more on him and the blond beside him.  
  
“Remember, the bet is you have to use your hands only,” the cameraman said sternly.  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” the yellow-haired man waved him off, before reaching out for the monster burger, his hands struggling to hold it all together despite his long fingers.  
  
“Remind me, why exactly is Matt doing this again?” a female voice asked from off camera.  
  
“’Cause he can just never say no to a stupid bet, ever,” the blond man grumbled, looking on in dismay as the man beside him attempted to fit his mouth around the large hamburger. “Also ‘cause if he got the special limited edition burger and ate it like a caveman, Tom said he’d pay for it.”  
  
“Tom, you are a very strange man,” her voice could then be heard saying, as the camera zoomed in on the yellow-haired man’s battle with his food, bits of sauce and lettuce escaping and going all over him.  
  
“Maybe he’s a feeder and wants my man,” came the blond’s voice, prompting the camera to zoom out a bit again and show him raising an eyebrow at somewhere behind the camera.  
  
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” came another muffled response from the brunet man off film.  
  
“Oi! That’s not the case at all!” the cameraman objected. By now the yellow-haired man wore more of the burger than he’d actually managed to eat, but had very nearly wolfed the whole thing down.  
  
“Whoa, slow down, Bells,” the blond said, grabbing a paper napkin and wiping at the other man’s face, but he just kept on ferociously devouring his burger, clearly trying to prove a point.  
  
“Wow, with the way he’s eating, you’d’ve thought Matt was the one eating for two!” the woman’s voice could be heard, followed by all the men but the yellow-haired one’s laughter – mouth too full of burger.  
  
Finally finished, the yellow-haired man grabbed for something off camera, before bringing up a drink, his mouth quickly fixing itself to the straw as he now drank, his eyes closing. The blond tried once more in vain to mop up some of the sauce that was smeared all over his face.  
  
“Look at you, you’re a mess!” he complained, as the other man put down his drink and then leaned back, before suddenly belching loudly, his eyes widening in surprise and cheeks pinkening a bit.  
  
“Oops, sorry,” he giggled, the blond staring at him with shocked, wide eyes, as everyone else’s laughter rang out.  
  
“That’s it, I think you should hang out less with my mates, they’re clearly corrupting you,” the blond said shaking his head, before, as if trying to prove his point, another loud belch could be heard.  
  
The camera quickly moved to show the curly-haired brunet, the woman beside him looking at him with her mouth wide open as he shrugged.  
  
“Chris!”  
  
“Pardon. Sorry, love,” he apologised, offering her the rest of his fries in apology. She just shook her head, a small smile curling her lips and accepted them.  
  
“C’mon, Tom, your own food is getting cold,” the man then said, looking at the camera.  
  
“Yeah, put that camera away already,” came the blond man’s voice, prompting the camera to pan back to him and the yellow-haired man, who was now examining the food stains on his t-shirt.  
  
“Okay, okay, sheesh. One day you’ll all thank me for having these tapes to look back on!” the cameraman grumbled, before the footage suddenly went black. _  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
Following the prescribed restrictions and requirements in configuring the plans for the newest Burger King, the second Matthew had had to do in about as many weeks, was not exactly what he'd envisioned for himself when becoming an architect. But with the way the economy had gone, he could just consider himself lucky that the firm was still receiving lots of business; be they designing fast food establishments or not.  
  
With a sigh, Matthew finally finished correcting the last sheet of the layout, his red pen ink marking all the adjustments and changes that needed to be made to the second draft one of the lower ranking architects at the firm had made.  
  
Clicking the pen absentmindedly, Matt looked out of his office's large window, the weather outside sunny and warm, instantly reminding him of a certain someone. Though, he supposed, it didn't take much to bring Dominic to his thoughts, the blond even more so at the forefront of his mind since the other day's events.  
  
Sighing some more, Matt put down the pen so that he could take his reading glasses off and rub the bridge of his nose. He wondered what the other man was up to presently. With a glance at the large clock hanging on his wall he could see it was nearly lunchtime. He felt his fingers twitch, his eyes then falling to the sight of his mobile, which lay easily within his grasp on the desk.  
  
Should he make a move and call him? He was already too far in this to rethink the morals and consequences of it all, this _thing_ between them was already set in motion.  
  
He had absentmindedly picked up the pen again at some point and was now back to clicking it, as well as also now chewing on his bottom lip. One more glance out the window was all it took then for Matt to finally give in and reach over to pick up his phone, before going to his contacts list and dialling Dominic.  
  
The blond picked up on the second ring.  
  
  
===  
  
  
Having punched in the address Dominic had given him into his GPS, Matthew found the swanky loft apartment easily enough.  
  
Also still at work, Dom had suggested they go to one of the properties his real estate company was currently showing, informing his employees that he was off to show the apartment to a promising client.  
  
When he pulled up, Matt found the blond waiting for him, leaning against the front door of the building, smiling with his arms folded across his chest. His golden hair was neatly styled, and he was wearing a powder blue shirt with a navy tie and form-fitting charcoal trousers, paired with a pair of shiny, black shoes. He looked literally picture perfect.  
  
Self-conscious, Matt gazed down at his half tucked in white shirt, its sleeves shoved up past his sharp elbows and top two buttons undone, and was that a coffee stain?! His hair was also no doubt all over the place too. His eyes then instantly narrowed in on the dust and dirt marring his black trousers, thanks to going on site earlier that morning.  
  
 _Ugh, luckily this isn't a fashion show. In a few minutes there won't even _be_ any clothes involved anyway._  
  
"Hello, stranger," Dom grinned, the flash of his white smile instantly prompting a similar response from the brunet. The way his eyes raked over Matt's slight frame appreciatively, blind to any flaws, proved that the shorter of the two had had nothing to fret over.  
  
"Been a while, eh?" Matt nodded, Dom holding the door open for him, so he went inside, the blond then leading him up the stairs after closing and locking the door behind them.  
  
As soon as they had reached the door into the apartment and after Dom had let them in and locked up after them, Matt sprang on him, shoving the blond against the nearest wall and attacked his mouth. His hands then flew down to pull Dom's shirt from his trousers, before they began to undo the navy tie, followed by the powder blue shirt's buttons.  
  
Moaning into Matt's mouth, Dom returned the favour and undid his shirt too, before turning the tables on the slight brunet. He easily lifted him up by his hips, Matt's legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, before Dom pushed his back up against the wall now.  
  
While their tongues wetly tangled with each other, their new position brought their crotches in direct contact, Dom beginning to rock into Matt, making both men gasp into the kiss.  
  
His hands now gripping Matt's arse to hold him up, Dom then turned and carried him off towards the master bedroom.  
  
"Oh my God, this is ridiculous! I feel like I'm twenty all over again," Matt giggled, his arms tightly wrapped around the blond's neck, before Dom once more sealed their lips.  
  
The kiss came to an abrupt end when Dom dropped Matt onto the bed, the brunet bouncing on the mattress upon impact, arms and legs splayed out while he giggled some more. Dom couldn't help but grin broadly and chuckle along, the sight of Matt so open and inviting, too much for him not to smile away like a goon. "Now if only you still weighed the same too!"  
  
"Rude!" came Matt's reply, before Dom narrowly missed the pillow hurled at his head.  
  
Dom then stooped down to shed his shoes and socks, prompting Matt to do the same, the brunet tossing them over the bed and only just missing Dom's bent over arse.  
  
"Oi, watch it, Bells!" he warned, feigning seriousness, as he straightened up, only to proceed to discarding his undone shirt and tie, before moving onto his belt and trousers. "Or I may have to discipline you..."  
  
Hands pausing on the zipper of his fly, Matt arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really now? Well then... best I–"  
  
But he never finished, as, having striped down to his boxers, Dom leapt up onto the bed and onto the man upon it. Their resulting kiss was a mess of tongues, clashing teeth and bubbly laughter, long fingers sliding through thick, blond hair and tanned hands caressing exposed, milky white skin.  
  
Dom's muffled laughter soon turned into a deep moan though, when Matt slid his hands down the back of the blond's grey boxers, his left hand clutching a firm, round arse cheek, while the right went straight for the other man's thick length.  
  
Matt was unable to hold back further giggles at his sneakiness, earning his right nipple a mean twist in retaliation from the blond.  
  
"So cheeky all of a sudden," Dom reprimanded, as the brunet squeaked and bucked upwards in response, "Maybe I really should punish you..."  
  
It felt a bit too surreal to the blond. They'd only recently reunited and restarted their sexual relationship too, yet here he was already pushing boundaries... There was just something about Matthew and him, he supposed, the two were always just so comfortable around each other. It was like they'd just picked up off from where they'd been prematurely interrupted all those years ago.  
  
"Oh, but, Dominic, then you'd just be encouraging more of it," Matt pointed out, not quite believing the words had left his mouth himself, his cheeks flushing slightly.  
  
He certainly hadn't had a sexual relationship like this in a long time. Sex had long since stopped being a source of fun and had become more a form of venting or means to an end. Just the thought made him smile wider, before he brought his hands up to shove the blond backwards and flipped them.  
  
"Well hello there tiger," Dom laughed, Matt now positioned above him, his hands holding Dom down by his shoulders while he straddled his waist, a large, toothy grin on his face as he stared hungrily down at the blond and 'growled' in response.  
  
Matt then proceeded to simply wink, before licking up a long, wet line from the divot at the base of Dom's throat, until his lips were once more over Dom's lushly plump ones.  
  
Groaning, Dom began to work Matt's, already undone, trousers off of him, the brunet helping at the end to kick them away. Their mouths still locked in a heated snog the entire time, Matt then began to grind his boxer-clad erection against the blond's own one.  
  
When they eventually broke the kiss, Matt's skew teeth holding onto Dom's full bottom lip until it 'popped' free, they were left panting and staring at one another, pupils wide and lips swollen.  
  
Dom's hands, which had been curled over the other man's sharp shoulders, slid down his back over his white shirt, following the curve of his spine until they slipped under the elastic of his navy boxers, to cup his lovely, peachy bum.  
  
"Fuck, I love your arse so much," Dom couldn't help groaning, as he squeezed, both cheeks fitting snugly in his cupped palms.  
  
"You always did," Matt giggled in that signature high-pitch of his. "Hmm, well, if you're good, I may just let you have it."  
  
"Is that so?" Dom asked, grinning widely with his movie-star smile, pulling their groins harder against each other, his grip still possessive and sure.  
  
"Mm-hmm," Matt nodded, his snaggled front teeth biting into the curve of his bottom lip coyly. It was absurd, but being around Dom truly felt like they were young and naïve all over again. Almost like they'd gone back in time, like all that was around was just the two of them. "But for now, I want to fuck you so hard into this mattress, you'll be feeling it until we next meet."  
  
The very thought made Dom twitch in his shorts, the movement not going unnoticed by the brunet, whose smile turned positively lecherous in response.  
  
"Sound good to you, does it?" Matt asked, back to licking, this time up along the side of Dom's neck, until he was sucking on a juicy earlobe.  
  
"You have no idea," Dom moaned, withdrawing his hands, so that only his thumbs remained beneath the elastic of Matt's boxers, before he then slid them down those pale thighs, much like he'd done with his trousers.  
  
Matt couldn't help but sigh as his aching erection was revealed to the air, only one, thin layer now separating him from the similarly hard, hot length in Dom's boxers.  
  
"Love the noises you make, can't wait to hear that high little whine you make when you come," Dom rasped, lifting his hips accommodatingly as Matt tugged down his grey boxers impatiently. In response, Matt simply leaned back down for a quick snog.  
  
"On your hands and knees," Matt then said, as he suddenly backed off the blond, sneaking in a few tugs of his impatient cock while he waited for Dom to comply.  
  
Shooting a grin at the sight – Matt's dark lashes fluttering and jaw slack, pale, long fingers wrapped around his flushed, swollen cock, his white shirt undone and still hanging off his shoulders – something Dom decidedly committed to his 'wank bank' for future reference, he obliged and got in the requested – okay, more commanded, he thought – position.  
  
When nothing then happened, Dom turned his head back to see what the hold up was, only to find Matt cursing to himself as he tossed his trousers aside, now standing a bit away from the bed.  
  
"What's up, Bells?" Dom asked, one of Matt's hands reaching over his shoulder, beneath the back of his shirt to scratch behind his shoulder in a frustrated manner.  
  
"I can't find the fucking condom," he stated in a decidedly pissed off tone. "I know I put it in my right back pocket, but it's gone."  
  
His arms and back getting a bit tired in his position, not to mention the crick he could feel forming in his neck, Dom dropped to spin around and just simply kneel, as he watched Matt skulk away to retrace their steps. Despite the annoying inconvenience, Dom's dick rock-hard and waiting impatiently, he couldn't help but find it amusing. It was, after all, extremely typical, he thought as he pulled off his own boxers from around his calves now and tossed them aside. Hopefully Matt would find the damn condom.  
  
The exasperated smirk on his face soon turned into a full-blown grin of affection and genuine happiness, though. Matthew came charging back into the room waving about the condom wrapper in his hand victoriously, before jumping up onto the bed and coincidentally Dom.  
  
"Must've fallen out when you shoved me into the wall," he explained, ripping the foil open with his teeth, before rolling the (already lubricated, which would be important as neither had any lube) rubber over his still fully erect dick.  
  
"Sure, put the blame on me," Dom chuckled, his hands coming up to rest on Matt's shoulders, finger's curling into the white fabric of his shirt. "Also, you know you're still wearing your shirt, you pillock."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Matt let the blond push his shirt down his shoulders and he then threw it aside, where it fluttered down next to the bed.  
  
"Anyway, I do believe I was about to fuck you, Howard. Assume the position!" he declared moving off Dom so that the blond could get back on his hands and knees.  
  
When Dom was once more in the desired position – Matt with the best view of his small, but beautifully toned bum – the brunet could barely contain himself as he hurriedly lathed his fingers with saliva. When the first, long finger pushed its way through the resisting muscle of his hole, Dom couldn't help but gasp as he bit down on his bottom lip.  
  
Matt was quick and relentless with his movements, soon adding his second and then third fingers, careful not to hurt his lover but eager to get the show on the road, his cock already deeply coloured and leaking.  
  
As he pumped his fingers in and out of the blond, he couldn't help but nip at the smooth surface of his arse, memories of the snuck bite he'd received the other day not forgotten.  
  
"Oh God, you cheeky little blighter," Dom bucked as the other man continued to grate his teeth down his sensitive skin, turning the palest skin on his body pink.  
  
"You like it and we both know it," Matt quipped, before giving the flesh before him a good hard nip as he finally pulled his fingers out, ensuring he'd leave a mark.  
  
Before Dom could retaliate, verbally or physically, Matt then pushed forward and thrust right into his slackened hole, causing him to unleash a near animalistic groan, the brunet's sharp fingers digging into the flesh of his hips.  
  
"Fuuuuck, Dom. So goddamn fucking tight, Jesus..." Matt gasped, his voice trailing off in a deep, satisfied moan as he buried himself balls deep into the inviting warmth clamping down on him.  
  
Moaning loudly, his body being assaulted with the once familiar and longed for intrusion of Matthew within him, Dom then pushed back to meet the brunet's next thrust, both men groaning deeply as a result.  
  
This new position, different from the other day's simple missionary in which Matt had taken Dom, was bringing a different air to their coupling; more primal and desperate. The brunet quick to increase the speed and strength of his thrusts, his fingers digging into the other man's hips as his own soon began to snap almost violently. Both men wanted a quick release, neither having the privilege of time to expend nor the will to take things slow.  
  
It was a quick, hard fuck and while not being their most elegant nor tender of couplings, there was no doubt about the fact that what was taking place went a whole lot deeper than simple lust and a desire to get off.  
  
Dom could not help the hiss which pushed its way out from between his gritted teeth, as Matt finally reached a hand down and gripped him roughly, quick to begin tugging him in rhythm with their hips' snapping.  
  
"Th-think you can handle baring the weight of both of us?" Matt managed to pant and before Dom could properly register what was being asked of him, the brunet's front was then suddenly draped right over his own. A small "oof" registering from the blond then as Matt lifted his left hand from where it had been helping support his weight, to instead lace into Dom's thick, blond locks, so that he could pull back his head and give himself access to those luscious lips once more.  
  
The resulting kissing was sloppy and fumbled, their teeth knocking every occasional thrust; their awkward positioning anything but ideal for snogging. Neither minded though, even as they ran out of air and were left panting hotly into the other's open mouth, so long as they could be united in every sense of the word they'd happily take the bruised and battered lips.  
  
Aside from the gasping, wet clanking and sliding of their mouths, the only other sounds were that of the slightly creaking bed springs and skin on skin; Matt's balls slapping against the defined muscle of Dom's toned arse.  
  
When Matt could feel the boiling heat of his fast approaching orgasm lapping at the pit of his gut and tightening in his balls, he broke the kiss to instead suck wetly on the blond's neck, before the sucks soon turned to gnawing. Too far gone himself, all Dom could really register was pleasure, pain the last thing on his mind, as he felt his arms beginning to give way under the strain of their combined weight and the power of Matt's pistoning hips. One thing was for sure, both were indulging in quite the physical exercise.  
  
"C-close?" Matt asked, although he knew the answer, the blond's inside walls fluttering and clamping down on him more frantic, while his cock leaked more steadily over Matt's fist, encouraging the brunet to rub his thumb over the other man's sensitive cockhead.  
  
It was all Dom could do, but to nod, almost delirious, in response, he was so close to teetering just that final little bit over the edge, words seemed impossible to conjure.  
  
"G-good, wan-want you to come... come for me," Matt asked, his thumb swiping through his lover's slit, while he rammed the head of his own cock over Dom's prostate once more. His knees were beginning to really ache, oxygen not coming quick enough, making his throat burn, and his orgasm was just in sight, the pull of it clear even over the feel and sound of his heart thumping madly in his chest. He would not, however, allow his body its reprieve before the blond's had first received its own.  
  
Dom's moaning had become hoarse and drawn out, as his arms finally gave way, causing him to fall flat down on the bed and Matt's next thrust to go deeper and at a new angle. It was of little surprise then when Dom was finally sent crashing into blissful orgasm, his load shooting into the sheets and over the brunet's trapped hand. The blond's body spasming tightly around Matt's sensitive cock, brought him crashing and burning seconds after, as he simultaneously bit down hard on the juncture between Dom's neck and shoulder, muffling his whine and making the other man cry out even louder into the pillow.  
  
The two then lay in their sweaty heap, Matt having collapsed atop Dom straight after pulling out and dealing with the condom, which he’d just knotted and tossed to the floor for now, their bodies heaving as their lungs desperately tried to take in as much air as they could. Both men felt utterly fucked as they attempted some semblance of recovery, their climaxes having hit them both like a speeding train.  
  
When he'd gained enough strength, Dom managed to roll over and so shove the smaller man off of his back, allowing his lungs less pressure in which to work.  
  
"Ow, you little cunt, that fucking hurt!" he then managed to wheeze, bringing up a hand to clumsily rub the aching spot where Matt had sunk his teeth into, their red marks still pressed into his skin.  
  
Matt simply grunted in response, still feeling absolutely finished, his left arm thrown over his eyes, but he then blindly smeared the cum-covered right one on the blond in a half-hearted attempt to wipe some off.  
  
Dom simply rolled his eyes, knowing that he clearly wasn't going to get an apology just yet, Matt never too communicative after recently climaxing. With a bit of effort, he then managed to sit up and survey the damage, their clothing strewn all over the place – well, mainly Matt's – and the bedding in desperate need of a good wash if he ever hoped to show the place with even a hint of respectability.  
  
Ugh, in his absence he'd probably also missed the ability of a possible commission or two, instead he'd chosen to run off and have sex with his ex in an apartment he could instead be showing to a prospective buyer or even be getting the documents already signed for...  
  
When he glanced down to the still recovering form of Matt, however, any financial loss he may have suffered as a result of their little get-together simply slipped from his mind: regarded irrelevant.  
  
There were few things in this world, he deemed, better than the sight of Matt post-orgasm and spread out beside him, body open and inviting, his chest slowed its rising and falling a bit, whatever self-consciousness he'd had over his body their last encounter, completely forgotten as he lay there, completely at ease and relaxation.  
  
Bending down a bit, Dom gave one of Matt's dark nipples a tentative lick, making the other man giggle and stir, his energy having returned somewhat. When Dom looked up at his lover, it was to find that he'd dropped his arm away from his face and had his bright blue eyes trained on the blond.  
  
"He lives!" Dom joked, earning him a sharp poke in the side from a bony finger, yet both men still just grinned goofily back at one another.  
  
"I'm sorry about biting you, I wasn't exactly thinking... But, that – the sex – it was pretty... _wow_ , yeah? The right words escape me," Matt defended himself, his cheeks staining with a light blush, as he opened his arms to beckon Dom into his embrace.  
  
"Don't worry about it and yeah, 'wow' indeed," Dom grinned, settling down happily into Matt's arms, his head resting on the brunet's shoulder as those skinny arms came to cradle him, his own wrapping around Matt's narrow waist as the other man tucked his head of blond hair beneath his chin.  
  
"We should really clean these sheets though, you can't put an apartment on show with spunky, sweat-sodden bedding after all," Matt pointed out, all too aware of the way the bedding still clung to their naked flesh.  
  
"Hmm, but just now, for now, can we just lay a little longer like this?" Dom asked, yawning slightly as he nuzzled his sizeable nose into the still damp crook of Matt's neck. He just adored the other man's post-coital smell, their scents having combined and mingled with their sweat and sex to create a rather heady mixture, which Dom knew he'd never take for granted ever again. He couldn't resist but poke his tongue out for a quick, little lap of Matt's salty, warm skin.  
  
"God you're weird," Matt chuckled, only to whimper when Dom 'accidentally' jarred his still over-sensitive cock while he threw a leg possessively over him.  
  
They easily then managed to settle into a comfortable silence, just taking in the feel of holding the other properly for the first time, Dom listening to the rhythmic thud of Matt's heart under his ear, while the brunet buried his own nose in that mop of golden hair, surrounding himself completely with the other man's contrasting scents of shampoo and sweat.  
  
~x~  
  
Well over half an hour later, the two men sat side by side in their boxers on the kitchen floor – both having quickly hopped into the shower briefly – opposite the washing machine as they watched the bedding go round and round in its cycle.  
  
At some point, Dom leaned over closer to Matt and put his arm around the other man, prompting the brunet to rest his head on one of the blond's strong shoulders with a sigh of contentment.  
  
"I love you." Without even realising it, the words had just slipped out from between his lips and nothing on this earth could undo the meaning they carried or what they meant.  
  
"S-sorry, what did you just say?" Dom asked, pulling his head away to stare back at the brunet, not quite believing what his ears swore they'd heard.  
  
"Er, I said that I love you," Matt repeated, his high cheekbones flushing under the scrutiny of those stormy grey eyes, yet he said the words without a hitch. Now that they had been said and were out, there was no denying it. Although unintended, their utterance came as no surprise to Matthew, for he'd come to this realisation, that he still loved the blond – indeed very much so – and always had, some time ago.  
  
When Dominic didn't immediately respond, Matt was sure he felt his heart drop, ever so slightly. Had he been wrong to admit it aloud to the other man? Was he simply only further dangling that carrot of temptation – the one Dom could never have – square in his face, mocking and taunting him, by stating the fact? The fact that Matt desperately loved Dom yet they could never be. Not really. By doing so, had he insulted and once more destroyed what the two had only begun to cultivate once more?  
  
The answering grin which then suddenly broke out across Dom's face, the fierceness of it threatening to blind the smaller man, and the ever so slight dampness of those lovely greys, immediately quelled his fears though.  
  
"Say it again," Dom requested, the joy flooding his heart and rushing through his veins in that moment, too much to grasp and contain. He just had to hear it one more time. Two more times. Three. No four. Heck, he would and could never grow tired of hearing those three little words uttered from that little mouth he so adored. From the person he thought he'd never hear say them to him ever again.  
  
"I love you?" Matt asked, Dom's serious tone, yet insanely smiling face, beginning to worry him.  
  
Without another word, Dominic pounced, lips sealing over the brunet's as his hands curled around bare shoulders and pushed Matt down onto his back, eliciting a squeak of surprise from him as the blond continued his assault on those pouty little lips.  
  
Eventually Dom pulled away, giving them both a chance to breathe, as he grinned down at the man spread out vulnerably beneath him on the kitchen tiles.  
  
"I love you, too. Fuck, Matt, I love you so goddamn much. Never stopped, not for one day, even when you broke my heart," he confessed, caressing the backs of his fingers along the side of the man he loved's face. "There was just no getting over you. There is no getting over Matthew Bellamy."  
  
As much as he tried not to, there was no denying the fact as Matt could then feel a hot, wet tear slip from him, tracking down the path Dom's adoring touch had just graced.  
  
Dom simply smiled down at him, his thumb moving to wipe away the tear tenderly.  
  
"Oh, Dom," Matt managed, his throat feeling tight with emotion as his hand quickly caught the blond's wrist before he could withdraw his hand. "I can't tell you how much it hurt me to do it and how I will never forgive myself for having hurt you so. I'm so sorry, dear, sweet Dominic. Believe me when I say, not even for a day, has my love waned for you, even in those bad times. I simply forced and chose not to acknowledge it. I was a fool and I am one now, but now I am a fool for you. A fool forever in love."  
  
How Dominic had spent months deliberating and doubting whether Matthew had ever truly loved him, after having abandoned him and everything they stood for so easily – or so it had seemed – yet now all those fears were put to rest and vanquished. The love he could see shining through those still liquid blue eyes, leaving him with no doubt.  
  
"I love you, Dominic Howard."  
  
"And I you, Matthew Bellamy. And I you."  
  
It was safe to say, as Dom leant over once more to unite their lips in a passionate snog, that the two would not be leaving the floor of that loft anytime soon. They were once more nestled and secreted away in their own, private little world.  
  
  
===  
  
  
"So wait, let me get this straight, the two of you are now sleeping together regularly?!" Chris asked in absolute shock, understanding but not wanting to believe what Dom was saying.  
  
"Erm, uh, yeah," Dom nodded, before taking a sip of his beer self-consciously. He'd wanted to keep it secret, but when Tom had asked about what was happening now with Matt, it had all just come tumbling out. The truth of what had now become his life.  
  
"No shit, so it's like a proper, full-blown affair now?" Tom asked, also somewhat shocked by their friend's confession.  
  
Dom could only nod.  
  
They'd all gotten together to watch the game as usual, this time at Tom's place again and thank goodness for it too, because if they'd been in public, a lot of unwanted attention would have been sent their way.  
  
"Fucking hell, Dominic! What are you doing? You deserve so much better than to be someone's little piece on the side. And anyway, have you even thought about what this could all do to his family? He has kids, Dom, young kids. Now that isn't your fault, but how can you just continue with this knowing you threaten their chances to grow up in a stable household?"  
  
Chris' words stung, because they were definitely too close to home and couldn't be anymore right. Dom certainly thought about it all, constantly, especially after his hook ups with Matt. How could he not? Dom wasn't a homewrecker, at least that had never been his intention. As for only getting to be Matt's secret lover, instead of his partner? Sure, he'd love to not spend his nights in a cold bed by himself in his suddenly lonely apartment, but, well there could be worse things in life; he was just grateful for any time spent with Matt he could get.  
  
When Dom voiced this, however, Chris could only shake his head in exasperation.  
  
"I love him, Chris. Don't you understand? Sure I never planned for it, but I never stopped loving him. It's why I've never been able to get over him, at least not really."  
  
"You love him?" Tom asked in shock, a smile beginning to take hold of his face, while Chris could only frown deeply in response. He didn't like to see Dom being used and his heart taken advantage of all over again.  
  
"That's not true, Chris!" Dom growled when the taller man said as much. "He loves me too, in fact he was the first one to voice it!"  
  
"Oh yes? Then why hasn't he left his wife for you, why is he still only sneaking around with you whenever it suits him?" Chris asked, his beer forgotten on the coffee table as he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in scrutiny.  
  
It felt like a slap to the face, but Dom simply glared back. " _Because_ he has a family, he can't just uproot his life, he has his children to worry about!"  
  
"Oh, and yet he is still willing to go behind their backs and have an affair anyway? Face it, Dom, you're stuck at a dead-end and deserve so much more. He's just living the best of both worlds, while you're forced to sneak about and spend the majority of your time alone and underappreciated. At his beck and call."  
  
Dom had nothing to say in reply, his insides feeling like they were crumbling away and his eyes threatening to water. He knew Chris was only saying these things because he cared and worried for Dom, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell to have to hear it.  
  
"Er... I'm gonna go get another beer," Tom said, quickly hopping to his feet, desperate to escape the suddenly uncomfortable atmosphere.  
  
Dom barely registered the other man's words though, too focused on Chris'. Could it be true what he had said... But of course it was, what could he possibly hope to expect from this thing between Matt and himself? For the brunet to leave his family – his model wife – for him? There was no way Matt would leave his kids and Dom could never ask him to.  
  
Was that his future then, sneaking around with the married father of two behind closed doors, never having a stable love life of his own? Forever destined to spend the lonely nights alone, despite what whispered words were said under covers during those few precious hours Dom actually did get to have Matt as his?  
  
He loved the brunet, desperately and dearly, and he knew he would never stop doing so – time had surely shown this to be true – but could he really continue on like this? Chris was right, no matter how much the two reunited lovers cared for one another, it would never be enough. Dom deserved so much more.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
 _“Come on, say it again.” The camera was focused on a lump hidden beneath white and blue striped bedding. “Please?” the voice coming from behind the camera continued to ask.  
  
A muffled response came from the lump of bedding, before the cameraman could be heard giggling and his hand appeared on screen to reach over and pull the covers back. A young man with pale skin and dyed black hair, which was puffing everywhere, appeared, his bright azure eyes widening when he took in the camera and sharp cheekbones flushing.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re really filming this!” he practically squeaked as he scrabbled for the safety of the duvet again and tried to hide his bare torso behind it.  
  
“Aww, Bells, just wanna get this on record. I couldn’t imagine a better thing to film!” the excited voice of the cameraman insisted.  
  
“But I’m not wearing any clothes, what if Tom wants his camera back and this is what he finds?!” the man on film said, pulling the duvet up a little higher.  
  
“I’ll take the tape out before I return the camera, promise. I just wanna film you saying it again, please?”  
  
“Fine,” the man on film conceded, dropping the duvet and once more revealing his skinny, pale chest, as he looked down to where the bedding now pooled in his lap, a shy smile beginning to curl at his lips. “I love you.”  
  
“Sorry?” the cameraman asked, an obvious smile in his voice. “I didn’t quite get that.”  
  
The raven-haired man looked back up at the camera, raising one dark eyebrow and trying to suppress his smile. “I said, I love you, Dom.”  
  
“One more time?” the cameraman asked, giggling.  
  
“I love you, you wanker!” the man on film laughingly shouted, grabbing hold of the pillow behind himself before tossing it right in the direction of the camera, resulting in the footage momentarily blurring as the cameraman tried to avoid being hit.  
  
When the footage managed to stabilise again, the two men’s laughter could be heard, as the camera was abandoned on the bedding, the duvet taking up the bottom half of the screen now, before the back of a pair of shoulders and a blond head of hair appeared on film, the new figure moving to cover what little could still be seen of the first man.  
  
“Well that’s good, ‘cause you know I love you, too.”  
  
“’Course you do, how could you not?” the first man’s voice replied, before he was briefly silenced by the sound of the two men kissing.  
  
The raven-haired man then pushed the blond aside and sat up, reaching out towards the camera and picking it up, the footage then moving to film the pooled bedding in his lap, before the blond moved back into footage as he laid his head in said lap.  
  
“What’re you doing?” he asked, looking up somewhere behind the camera.  
  
“Trying to figure out how to stop this thing recording... wait this may be it... No... Why do these thing have to be so complicated? Ah-ha I thi–”  
  
And suddenly everything went black and silent._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still even reading this? Idk but I finally managed to defeat the awkward flaw I had to work around in this chapter and was inspired so wrote the last 'tape'. I'm so sorry for the bloody long wait. Hope you still enjoy this should you choose to read <3

_“Hello, hello, and what do we have here?” a voice asked off camera, as the footage focused to show a man with a messy shock of bright red hair, sprawled across the sofa wearing only a pair of South Park themed boxers.  
  
He dragged his eyes away from the spot off camera where they’d been focused to briefly take in the camera, before returning to where they’d been looking before. “’m watchin’ cartoons, it’s Saturday morning. Why are you filming me, you plonker?”  
  
“Evidence of the fact that you’re just an overgrown child – it’s a little mockumentary of my own!” came a voice off camera that had to be that of the cameraman.  
  
“Oi, what’s wrong with cartoons?” the man with cherry-red hair asked, now looking back at the camera and pouting. Chuckling could then be heard from just off camera.  
  
“Well, you are twenty-three, Bells, and this show’s aimed at kids,” the cameraman pointed out as the camera moved in closer to the man on film. The footage then dipped a bit as the cameraman sat down on the couch now too, a hand having come into view to bat aside the redhead’s pale legs, before a pair of more tanned ones then came into picture beside the man on film.  
  
“Yeah, but this is _ Transformers _, Dom. They’re alien robots from outer space that turn into cars and prevent the end of the world as we know it from other evil alien robots, what more could one ask from a show? This shit may as well have been written for me!” the man with red hair argued, the camera then briefly shifting to the animated show in question playing out on the TV screen, a battle scene between robots taking place, before returning to the skinny redhead whose attention was back on his show.  
  
“Hmm, well, I guess when you put it like that, I do kinda understand why _ you _would like it... Though it isn’t the only cartoon you watch, Matt.”  
  
“So? You do too,” he replied, but didn’t look back at the camera.  
  
“Yeah, well, only ‘cause you like them,” the cameraman defended, one of the tanned feet on camera moving then to prod into the man on film’s pale side, prompting him to look back at the camera again.  
  
“And ‘cause secretly you do too,” he winked, before reaching out a hand toward the camera. “Now put that thing away, I wanna watch this properly – it’s quite intense at the moment – and I’ll reward you when it’s finished.”  
  
“Reward you say?” the cameraman asked, making no move to turn over the camera. In response the man on film smirked, before lifting his fist and making a rather crude motion toward his open mouth. “Jesus, Matt! Now this one’ll have to go in the restricted section too!”  
  
“Yeah, well, you asked for it. Now turn that thing off or I won’t blow you.”  
  
Not two seconds later, the footage suddenly cut out._  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
Dominic wanted to tell Matthew, talk to him and bring it up in a conversation; see what the other man had to say for himself and for them to figure out just exactly what the hell was going on.  
  
The only issue was, well, that whenever the two met up, time was sparse and Dom found himself easily distracted by a readily naked and equally horny Matt. He couldn't do it over the phone though; it had to be done in person.  
  
The closest he'd come to broaching the topic had been well over two weeks ago, the two of them having absconded to yet another of the numerous properties Dom's real estate company was showing. For a change they'd both had a little more time than usual and had just lain side by side, panting after quite a passionate romp that both would be feeling for some while.  
  
Dom had just been about to say something, when Matt had interrupted to tell him that he'd be gone for two weeks or so, to go to the site of one of his buildings that he'd designed in Doncaster.  
  
Two weeks... It had been a couple months now since this thing had started between them and since then they'd scarcely gone a few days without somehow seeing one another, no matter how brief the meet up. Generally they'd try to squeeze in a shag here or there, but time often couldn't allow for it, so they'd 'accidentally' bump into each other at cafés or at the park, or for drinks after work... Every minute seemed to count and so two weeks had seemed near impossible for the pair; especially for Dom who'd made a promise with himself that he'd have to have the talk with Matt when he got back.  
  
So the time that had then passed had been a complete conflict of emotions. Dom caught up between missing Matt desperately, yet dreading seeing him again as that would mean having to talk to him and very likely jeopardising what little time he did get to see the other man.  
  
Matt was due back tomorrow and perhaps they'd be able to see each other the day or so after, so Dom was now left, like most nights, alone to watch TV.  
  
Or so he thought.  
  
He was busy getting involved in the latest episode of _Game of Thrones_ , when he heard a firm knock on his front door.  
  
"Now who the hell could that be?" he muttered to himself, checking his watch to see that it was nearly 9pm, as he made his way to the door. When he looked through the peephole, however, he nearly fell right over.  
  
Standing outside the door and fidgeting with his tie, a nervous hand of long fingers running through that thick, toffee-coloured hair, was Matt himself.  
  
Fumbling a bit with the lock, due to his shock and suddenly elevated nerves, Dom managed to open the door for his unexpected visitor.  
  
"H-hey," Matt grinned awkwardly, waving at Dom, who in turn wasn't doing a very good job at hiding his shock.  
  
"Hey yourself," Dom nodded, stepping aside to let Matt in, before closing and relocking the door behind him.  
  
As soon as the door was shut, however, Matt was on Dom like a shot, hotly smothering the blond's mouth with his own.  
  
"M-Matt," Dom tried to begin around the kiss, as he felt himself being herded onto his own sofa, Matt's hands deftly undoing his jeans.  
  
"Shhh," Matt shushed, pushing him down to sit on the sofa, before dropping to his knees in front of Dom.  
  
"B-but–" But he broke off into an embarrassingly loud gasp, as Matt just went straight for it and reached out to pull him free from his faded old jeans. " _Fuuuuck._ Oh. God."  
  
Matt clearly wasn't playing around, as he then skipped right to putting his mouth to work, sucking Dom's flushed cockhead into his mouth, the blond having hardened in record time.  
  
"Oh God, oh God," Dom moaned, writhing as Matt's hand corkscrewed and squeezed at the base of his cock, while his clever tongue traced along every bump and ridge, before dragging under the curve of his cockhead. "Fuck, you always were really so damn good with that mouth," Dom continued to gasp and moan, his hands moving to fist in his own thick, blond hair, as he threw his head back.  
  
"Ah-mm," Matt grunted over him, sending vibrations along his sensitive skin that resulted in mind-numbing jolts of pleasure all along his body.  
  
"Oh jeez!" Dom couldn't help from crying out, his legs moving to lock around Matt's kneeling body, holding him in place. Almost as if in an odd kind of embrace, while the brunet simply stuck to it and sucked him off like a world-class pro. Which Dom was almost certain he was.  
  
Biting down on his lip and trying to muffle his moans and cries the best he could, Dom didn't think it could possibly get any better. That is until Matt pulled off briefly to pant a bit and catch his breath.  
  
"Y-you, okay?" came Dom's gaspy voice, both wanting Matt to continue, but also worried about him. This was the first time the brunet had sucked him off since their reunion and so he highly doubted – in fact as good as well knew – that the other man had done something like this in years.  
  
Matt simply just nodded though, a determined look set in his deep blue eyes, their pupils blown wide, before ducking back down to suck one of Dom's balls into his mouth. The hand not holding the blond's dick was quick to then move over and massage the opposite ball. This time Dom couldn't help but cry out wantonly, his hands moving to slide into the thick tufts of Matt's hair, seeking a firm grip.  
  
At the welcome action, Matt abandoned Dom's balls to instead shoot the other man a devilish look, before swiping his tongue hard up the underside of the blond's cock and then simply swallowing him back down. This time he didn't stop until he had all of Dom's cock.  
  
As Dom felt himself being sucked into the unfathomably tight grasp of Matt's throat, his eyes shot open wide and he looked down his body in absolute wonder and lust.  
  
_HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGGODDAMNCRUCIFIEDCHRIST._  
  
Somewhere, in between the shock of the brunet's surprise visit and all and having just adjusted to the straight forward sex he and Matt only seemed to manage in this warped new relationship of theirs, he'd forgotten the fact that the other man had a true gift when it came to giving head. He deep-throated like he was fucking born to do it.  
  
"Oh _fuuuuuuck_ ," he moaned, loudly and drawn out, his eyes beginning to cross as Matt moved over him, one of his hands back to fondling the blond's balls. "Gon-gonna come s-soo-soon!"  
  
Taking a bit of strain, though, Matt thought he couldn't come soon enough, for as much as he loved to pleasure the blond and give head; he was certainly way out of practice. His jaw was killing him and he was just grateful his gag reflex was behaving. He wanted to bring Dom to one of the most satisfying climaxes the blond had ever had. He'd been planning exactly what to do for him the whole train journey over.  
  
And, by the sound of things, he was doing very well on making Dom exceedingly pleased.  
  
"O-oh, Matt, j-jus– _fuuuck_. I c-can't any-anymore." Speech seemed to fail Dom, his fast approaching orgasm and the insane pleasure of Matt working him had his tongue in knots. His lunges burned with the need for oxygen, yet his body refused to quit moaning or relax enough to allow the intake of any.  
  
Knowing it was about time to dish out the finale, Matt began to scrape his teeth lightly and teasingly along the stiff base of the blond's swollen cock, the tip of his nose brushing against the crisp, dark blond hair of Dom's pubes.  
  
And that was it. Dom came hot and hard, moaning the other man's name loudly, as he shot down Matt's throat, giving the brunet no other option, but to swallow. Of course he did this happily, his hands moving to grasp Dom's quivering thighs for better support as he sucked home every last drop.  
  
Finally finished, Dom slumped back into the couch with the goofiest of grins spread across his face, while Matt pulled off to wipe the back of his wrist over his mouth; his lips shiny with saliva and cum.  
  
"F-fucking hell, w-where'd that come from? W-where'd _you_ come from in fact?" Dom panted a few seconds later, looking down his body to see Matt still kneeling on the floor between his – now floppy – legs.  
  
"Missed you. And from Doncaster," Matt rasped in response, receiving a raised eyebrow as an indication to elaborate. Coughing a bit into his fist, clearing his throat, Matt explained, "Finished up this afternoon and instead of staying another night at the hotel as planned, I caught the first train I could back here so I could spend the night with you. That is, of course, if you'll have me?"  
  
"If I'll have you? Fuck, Matt, what kinda question is that? Especially after you just blew me like that!" Dom shook his head, before kicking his jeans and boxers off and to the side.  
  
Shit, Dom really had to bring up the topic of the state of their relationship, but... with the rare opportunity before them, to spend the night (and hopefully some of the morning) together; how could he even dream of ruining the mood and putting it to waste? It could wait just a little bit longer...  
  
And, looking at Matt now; his toffee-coloured hair poking up in all directions – thanks to him having manhandled it – and big blue eyes with their wide pupils twinkling back at him, his now swollen, shiny, wet lips, wrecked voice from his abused throat and skew tie... Dom couldn't not have his turn, why it would be downright criminal not to!  
  
"Matt," Dom began, reaching down to lightly take hold of the end of the other man's black skinny tie, as he slowly stood up.  
  
"Uh, yeah?" Matt asked, slowly rising with the blond, following the slight tug on his tie.  
  
"Come with me."  
  
And with that, Dom began to lead Matt over to his bedroom, the brunet being gently, but persistently, led by his tie.  
  
"Now strip, tiger," Dom commanded, having let go of Matt to shut the door, as they'd come in.  
  
With a snorted giggle and a shake of his head, Matt crouched down to untie his shoes before removing them and his mismatched socks, while Dom rid himself of his tee. When Matt began to loosen his tie, however, Dom halted him.  
  
"Wait! No, not the tie. Remove everything else, but keep that on."  
  
Raising a sceptical eyebrow, Matt simply shrugged and nodded, before moving to instead undo his shirt buttons. Dom then watched on hungrily as more pale flesh was revealed with every popped disc of plastic.  
  
Unable to help himself and rather enjoying the perving Dom was shooting his way, Matt couldn't resist playing up to it and giving a proper little strip tease; slowly and carefully revealing his skin.  
  
By the time Matt undid his fly, having first removed his belt and throwing it aside, Dom couldn't help the little sigh that escaped him, Matt licking his lips in response.  
  
"C’mon, Bells," Dom whined impatiently, the large tenting in Matt's blue stripy boxers as they were slowly revealed, proving too much.  
  
At this, Matt couldn't help but giggle in his crazy, high-pitched laugh, "Okay, okay," before he hastily stripped of the last of his garments; barring only the tie.  
  
When he'd bent to pull his boxers off, Dom couldn't help but give his pert little bum a good wack, making Matt leap up with a loud squeal.  
  
"Fuck, Dom!" he grumbled, rubbing his smarting rump with a scowl.  
  
"Aww, I'm sorry. Here, let me kiss it better?" Dom, oh so chivalrously, volunteered.  
  
"Okay, fine," Matt relented, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout still.  
  
Smiling at the silly man he loved, Dom gripped Matt's hips and pushed him to walk forward a bit.  
  
"What're you up to?" Matt asked suspiciously, looking over his shoulder at Dom, despite allowing himself to be led over to the bed and then made to get onto it on his hands and knees.  
  
"You'll know soon enough," Dom replied elusively, before making Matt crawl a bit more forward so that he could kneel behind the brunet on the bed. "Here, lean down forward a bit," Dom then proceed to direct, pushing lightly on Matt's shoulders, before moving his hands to grip either hip in front of himself.  
  
"I thought you were just gonna kiss my bum better?" Matt asked, squirming a bit to try and get a look at what the blond was up to behind him, as Dom pulled his hips upwards. "Not make me stick it in the air."  
  
"Hush, Bells," Dom muttered, but couldn't hide the affection from his voice, as he now had the perfect view of Matt's mostly snowy white arse, his handprint having left a rosy hue to the left cheek.  
  
"But, Dom, I mea–HOLY FUCK!"  
  
Giggling, Dom made to spread Matt's arse cheeks again and repeated the cheeky swipe of his tongue up the valley of his arse, making the brunet gasp out loudly. Dom, however, could only swipe superficially, Matt clenching tightly.  
  
"Come on, Bells, relax. You're all tensed up," Dom coaxed, moving his left hand to rub soothing circles along Matt's lower back. He also then reached out to grab a pillow for Matt to put under his head.  
  
Still then rubbing Matt's lower back, Dom used his right hand to open Matt up to him so he could attempt to repeat the action. This time when he ran his tongue over the other man's hole he managed to dip it inside without too much resistance.  
  
At the once familiar, yet now foreign, intrusion of the other man's hot, wet tongue, Matt was quickly coming undone, whimpering and whining as Dom began to drive his tongue into him. Dom just grinned (well, as best as he could), as he lapped away, thriving off the noises the gorgeous creature before him was making.  
  
"Fuck, so good. Dom, fuck," Matt moaned, his jaw slack as he crossed his arms in front of himself on the pillow and lent his head against them. "Holy hell. Yeah, lick me deeper. _Ungh_."  
  
Pleased with the state he'd managed to work Matt into, Dom pulled away, unable to hold back the grin, which took over his face as the brunet whined at the loss of his mouth.  
  
"Think you can flip on your back? Want to see your face," Dom asked, giving the side of the other man's arse two light slaps.  
  
"Mm'kay," Matt nodded into his arms, his body slowly coming down from the edge he'd been so rapidly approaching. So, with a little help from Dom, who helped roll him, Matt found himself lying open and on his back, the blond quick to then lift his slim legs to rest over his shoulders. Matt simply raised a questioning eyebrow, folding his arms now behind his head.  
  
"What, thought I'd stop? I think not," Dom grinned, laying a kiss to the inside of Matt's left thigh, as he pulled his legs up a bit more.  
  
"I was hoping you wouldn't," Matt grinned, squirming a bit as he tried to get comfortable in the odd position of having his lower half raised up. "Though now my face is gonna get so pink..." he muttered.  
  
"I got news for you, Bells. It already is, as is your chest," Dom giggled affectionately as Matt scowled a bit at the fact.  
  
And, before Matt could make another snarky remark, Dom lent in and picked up from where he'd left off, this time though he made sure to keep eye contact with Matt, who was quick to also resume his pleasured moaning.  
  
Try as he might, though, Matt couldn't hold the other man's gaze, his eyes shutting purely on instinct as his senses were too overwhelmed by the pleasure assaulting his body. This didn't, however, faze the blond in the slightest, as this was exactly what he wanted to lay witness to: Matt loosing himself in the pleasure of it all. There wasn't a greater sight on earth as far as Dom was concerned; he thrived off it.  
  
Wanting to reach the brunet's prostate now too, Dom let go of the thigh he was holding with his left hand, so that he could ease his index finger into Matt's arse, to join his tongue. The action tore a louder moan from his lover, Matt's hands gripping the loop of the tie around his throat and pulling it away from himself.  
  
"That good, baby?" Dom asked, pulling out a bit to do so, while leaving his finger to continue working, rubbing against the brunet's spot insistently.  
  
Matt could only nod madly, his chest properly flushed now as he writhed beneath the blond, jaw hanging slack as his whining verged on cracking on its high pitch.  
  
"God, I love you," Dom breathed hotly against the clammy skin of Matt's inner thigh, before gifting the soft expanse of skin a loving kiss.  
  
"Lov-love you t-too," Matt managed to pant, just before Dom put his mouth back to work and, this time, brought his middle finger to join his index. "Oh God, so goddamn much!"  
  
"Ah-hmm," Dom could only grunt, scissoring his fingers to open Matt some more and allow his tongue in even deeper.  
  
"Oh _fuuuck!_ "  
  
With his fingers brushing against Matt's prostate intermittently and his tongue massaging the hot, velvety inside of him, it was small wonder when it all got to be too much for him and Matt came with a loud moan, which cracked in pitch at the end. His cum painted his stomach and chest, as his eyes rolled right back into his skull.  
  
When the madly twitching muscles inside Matt stopped clamping down on Dom, he carefully removed his mouth and fingers, before gently lifting the brunet's lower half and legs off his shoulders and laying him down properly on the bed. Then, wiping his hand over his mouth, Dom smiled down at Matt's completely buggered state, the brunet panting away, his chest heaving and arms thrown above his head.  
  
"So beautiful," Dom cooed, leaning down to lay a kiss to the corner of Matt's mouth, which hung open as he gasped for air. When the other man only grunted back in response, Dom ducked down to lap at the soft, dark hair that was damp with sweat, in the exposed hollow of Matt's underarm. "Hmm, always taste so good," Dom hummed, only increasing the pressure of his now flattened tongue when Matt squirmed tiredly.  
  
"Mm'stop... Ah-uh, Dom," he whined helplessly, Dom then taking mercy and pulling away after a last, long lick which went all the way up to the other man's sharp elbow.  
  
"Can't help it, just want to make it as tangible as possible," Dom explained unapologetically, propped on his side next to the brunet.  
  
"S'not very nice considering where your tongue just was," came a cheeky little reply from the smaller man, which made Dom shake his head with a chuckle.  
  
"Is that so, hmm? And, what, you gonna tell me you didn't like it?" Dom asked, gazing down at Matt's still shut eyelids, his dark lashes fanned out over his pale skin, while the blond rubbed circles around his sharp hipbone.  
  
"Oh no, not at all. There's no denying that was... fucking amazing," Matt grinned, his wonky tooth making itself known as he cracked an eye open to regard Dom.  
  
"Oh good, 'cause I'm gonna kiss you now," Dom laughed, as Matt's high giggle joined in, before following through and sealing their lips.  
  
The mingling of their tastes was definitely different, yet still not too unfamiliar, even after all these years and neither was even the slightest bit put off as they both deepened the kiss. Matt ran his tongue over Dom's, as his hands moved to knot into the blond's thick hair and pulled him even closer.  
  
"Filthy boy," Dom panted pulling out of the kiss. "Greedily cleaning my mouth of yourself."  
  
"Only 'cause it's on you," Matt panted right back, before Dom ran a finger up along Matt's torso, making a path through the cum drying there.  
  
"Hmm, really?" Dom asked, tracing Matt's bottom lip with the finger, until the brunet ran his tongue over it and latched on. "Oh, God. So filthy," Dom groaned, as Matt sucked the digit clean.  
  
Matt just curled his bottom lip between his teeth, once he'd released the now spotless finger with a _'pop'_.  
  
"Com'ere, you," Dom grinned, pulling Matt into his arms, snuggling against his shoulder, making the brunet sigh. "You do realise that you just came without even being touched; just 'arse play' alone," Dom pointed out, running his hand up and down the other man's side.  
  
"Hmm, well, s'been a while," Matt yawned and stretched out a bit, letting his joints pop as the blond loosened his hold. "Not since... well, since you did it to me last."  
  
"Pity, especially as you always did rather enjoy it," Dom mused, stretching out himself now.  
  
"Yeah," came a sort of distant response from Matt, before he rolled over onto his side to face the blond, fiddling with the material tied around his neck. "Dom, why exactly did you make me keep this damn tie on?"  
  
The sudden question made Dom smile, almost sadly, as he then reached out to push the already slackened tie up, over Matt's face, until it pushed back his fringe as a headband, the knot to the side of his face.  
  
"Sentimentality, I guess..."  
  
"Ah," Matt comprehended, his fingers self-consciously fingering the black material wrapped around his head.  
  
"So, erm, wanna wash off and then watch some telly or something?" Dom asked, scratching the back of his neck, wanting to end the awkward silence which had followed.  
  
"Uh, yeah, sure," Matt nodded, sitting up a bit as Dom got up and onto his feet.  
  
"You coming then?" Dom asked with a small smile over his shoulder, he didn't want the suddenly awkward atmosphere to stick around, as he walked over to the en suite, Matt still sitting up on the bed.  
  
"Er, um, yeah," Matt nodded, pulling the tie off and throwing it aside, before hopping up and following after Dom, his mind having begun to wander back to old times.  
  
When he got to the bathroom, Dom had already gotten in the shower and turned the water on.  
  
"Isn't it a bit cold at first?" Matt asked, scratching the side of his arm, his posture and body language still awkward and uncomfortable.  
  
"Yup, but I don't mind. What with being covered in sweat and your cum and all," he tried to joke, feeling uneasy with this awkward shift the atmosphere had taken. "It warms up pretty quick though... So, uh, you gonna get in?" Dom asked then, holding the shower door open for the brunet.  
  
"Uh, yeah, yeah," Matt nodded, before carefully stepping into the fairly tight space with the blond.  
  
"Matt..." Dom began, pulling the brunet into his arms from behind and resting his chin on the smaller man's shoulder. "Forget about the tie. Let's... forget the past, for now. Live in the now, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, s'not like we haven't already agreed to do so before," Matt agreed, turning his head to the side so he could look at Dom, his hands moving to flatten over the blond's over his stomach.  
  
"Hmm," Dom hummed, nuzzling his nose against Matt's, his arms squeezing the slight man tighter against him.  
  
Just as Dom had begun to close his eyes, however, lulled by the steady pounding of steamy water on his back and Matthew's warm, silky-smooth skin pressed up against him, Matt suddenly struck out and licked his nose randomly, making his eyes shoot open.  
  
"Oi! Stop kipping off, old-timer," he giggled at Dom's shocked expression.  
  
"You rude little git!" But Dom couldn't help laugh along as he let go of Matt to pass him the soap, as he took the shampoo for himself and stepped out of the spray, startling Matt slightly as he was suddenly then assaulted by the jets of water.  
  
Having soaped up his hair and then needing a rinse, Dom watched on patiently as Matt scrubbed away at his tummy. He couldn't help the twitch of his fingers then.  
  
He'd tried to resist, really, he had. _But_...  
  
"Here, let me help you out."  
  
Resisting the temptation to roll his eyes, Matt surrendered his tight grip on the soap and handed it over, Dom gratefully accepting it and resuming his earlier position of standing behind the smaller man. "You're such a weirdo."  
  
"Says the one who greedily lapped up his own cum from a finger that was up his arse barely a few minutes earlier," Dom countered, once more resting his head on Matt's shoulder, as he soaped up the smaller man's tummy in massaging circles.  
  
"Touché," Matt conceded, letting his own head fall back to rest on Dom's shoulder.  
  
~x~  
  
Once all clean and showered, Dom lent Matt a pair of clean boxers, joggers and a hoodie, so he didn't have to go out to his car in the street to fetch his suitcase, wearing only a towel.  
  
Grinning broadly at the fact that his clothing was still slightly too large for Matt's smaller frame, and wearing a similar – albeit better fitting – outfit, Dom grabbed a blanket from the armchair in his room and led Matt over to his lounge, where they proceeded to snuggle up on the couch. Matt, clearly still the blanket hog he'd always been in the past – somehow having now managed to roll himself into nearly all of the fluffy fleece blanket – Dom could only sigh and pull Matt to lay atop him.  
  
"You want all the blanket? Fine. But then you're gonna be _my_ blanket," Dom explained when Matt squirmed about on top of him.  
  
Matt's response was to just blow a raspberry at the blond as he wiggled into a comfy position, his head in the crook of Dom's neck.  
  
"You're like a big child, it's a wonder you're a father and actually have your own," Dom chuckled, affectionately running his right hand's fingers through Matt's hair, while he began to channel surf with the remote.  
  
"Pssht, I'm an amazing father," he scoffed, lazily watching Dom flicking through telly channels.  
  
"I never said you weren't," Dom assured him, leaning forward a bit to place a kiss to Matt's now extra fluffy towel-dried hair.  
  
"Hmm," Matt hummed, trying to ignore the guilty tug on his gut at the thought that he'd gone to spend the night with his lover, over seeing his kids first after the stretch of time apart.  
  
_Yeah, some father_...  
  
Just as this was crossing his mind, Dom had flicked to a more than familiar channel, which was showing a rather well known cartoon in the Bellamy household.  
  
"Oh wait, leave it on this."  
  
"On a cartoon? Seriously, Matt?" Dom chuckled shaking his head, "Some things never change."  
  
"Oi, I only know it 'cause of the kids, okay. It's Sammy's favourite," Matt tried to defend himself, but Dom wasn't quite so easily convinced.  
  
"Oh come off it, Bells. You always did love cartoons. It's probably your favourite one too, except now you finally have the perfect excuse to watch and stay current with cartoons. The kids are merely an excuse," Dom pointed out knowingly, putting down the TV remote, to instead wrap his arms around Matt.  
  
"Okay, okay. I concede. But this one's really great, like seriously!"  
  
Knowing the brunet in his arms too well, Dom knew he was just bursting to tell him all about it. So, simply to make the other man happy and personally also loving to hear Matt get all excited over trivial things like this, Dom playfully sighed. "Yeah, what's it about?"  
  
"Well, you see, it takes place in a post apocalyptic world, except for instead of the usual doom and gloom, most of the 'people' are themed around desserts and sweets – at least those living under Princess Bubblegum's rule. In fact there aren't any humans really except for Finn; the main character. Finn's then joined by his best mate Jake the Dog and, well, together they go around looking for adventure – hence the name of the show. Ooh, ooh, and I also nearly forgot Marceline, who, like Princess Bubblegum, is friends with Jake and Finn, except she's a vampire. Like, in this one episode..."  
  
So Dom just lay there, absentmindedly rubbing Matt's back and adding an "ahh" or "hmm" whenever Matt paused or the situation called for it, but if he was honest, he wasn't exactly properly digesting Matt's rapid-fire of information. He was, however, just enjoying the time spent with the other man, trying to appreciate what he could for the future truly was so uncertain. He still had yet to speak to the brunet about the state of their relationship...  
  
But for now, he was simply just going to enjoy what he could.  
  
At some point, Dom didn't exactly know when, they'd fallen asleep; something the blond expected from the other man, Matt having begun yawning at a stage, yet was surprised that he too had passed out for a good couple hours. The telly was still blearing away, now showing some other kid's cartoon, and Matt was still fast asleep, his breathing steady and slow from his place atop Dom, his head tucked under the blond's chin.  
  
Smiling sleepily to himself, he ran his fingers through the tufts of brown hair in front of him, Matt's body like a toasty heater even through the blanket. Then, sighing, as he didn't exactly want to leave their comfy positioning, but knowing if he spent the rest of the night on the sofa his back would ache for days to come, Dom carefully managed to maneuver himself out from under Matt.  
  
Once freed, he was pleased to see the other man had barely stirred, and was still sleeping like a baby. He knew Matt had always had issues with insomnia and lately he feared it was getting worse, even if Matt never mentioned it or brushed the topic off if Dom ever brought it up. He was sure of it though, dark rings beneath Matt's eyes certainly not unusual whenever they managed to meet up. So, wanting the other man to get the sleep while he still could, yet not a sore back, Dom stooped down to gently lift the smaller man into his arms.  
  
Pleased when all Matt did was to mumble a bit sleepily, his eyes still closed, before snuggling his head against Dom's chest, the blond then carefully carried him to his bed, before laying him down on it.  
  
"C’mon, arms up," Dom prompted gently, lifting the hoodie up and over Matt's head, the half-asleep brunet following instructions somewhat, before being helped under the covers, where he promptly fell back into deep sleep.  
  
Shaking his head fondly, Dom went back to turn everything off, before he stripped himself of his own hoodie and joined Matt in bed, pulling his slight body against his own so they could spoon.  
  
"G'night," he whispered, even though he wasn't surprised when all he heard was Matt's steady breathing in reply, the other man properly out for a good while to come. So then, with a content smile and heart, yet an uneasy mind, Dom too quickly followed into sleep.  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
_The footage came in to focus on skinny man with bright green hair, which looked rather a little on the wrong side of greasy and was being held up off his face with a tie that had been pushed up and used as a headband, knot to the side of his head. His eyes were narrowed in concentration at whatever was in his hands, tongue just sticking out between his thin lips. He had dark circles under his eyes and his blue shirt was rumpled, the sleeves shoved up past his sharp elbows.  
  
As the camera moved closer and panned over the table he was working at, it became clear that he appeared to be working on a model of a building. Cut-offs of the thick, white board he was using surrounded him, an empty tube of glue scrunched up beside another that was beginning to go the same way, modelling blades spread out in different shapes and sizes.  
  
In the middle of the mess on the table was the little model, where the man was now holding down a piece of board he’d cut out, perpendicularly to what had to be one of the ‘floors’ of the model building. He appeared to be waiting for the piece’s glue to dry a bit.  
  
“It’s coming along nicely,” a voice from behind the camera, that of the cameraman, said, startling the man on film, whose body gave a delayed jolt.  
  
“Dom! What the fuck, don’t sneak up on me like that!” the green-haired man glared over, somewhere behind the camera, before looking back down at his work. “Fuck, now the wall’s skew. Shit, shit, shit.” He then proceeded to carefully peel the piece that he’d just stuck down off, before trying to reposition it back down.  
  
“Sorry, sorry,” the cameraman said, his voice sounding genuinely apologetic. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Just wanted to check up on you and see how it was going.”  
  
“So you thought you should bring that bloody camcorder with you too?” the man asked, clearly irritable and not bothering to look up, as he picked up another neatly cut out piece from where it was laid out amongst other already cut components.  
  
“Hey, you love this ‘bloody camcorder’. Just thought you could do with a little distraction – a tiny break. You’ve been at it for hours now.”  
  
“Yes, well, my deadline’s tomorrow and this needs to be finished for my pinup – I’ve already run out of time to do any more perspectives. This is important. Anyway, shouldn’t you be sleeping? Thought you had an early class in the morning – well, later today.” He said this all while carefully applying some glue along the edge of the modelling card, using a toothpick to clean off the excess, and gluing it down neatly and steadily in place. He only looked back up over at the camera when his fingers held it gently in place, giving the glue a little time to dry.  
  
His eyes were bloodshot and his skin pale, limp green fringe hanging a little over the navy tie around his head.  
  
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep though – don’t like not having you next to me. How far are you? Is there anything I can do to help?”  
  
“How do you ever cope when I'm not here, Dom?” the green-haired man sighed, but an undeniably affectionate curl played at the corner of his mouth in spite of himself, before he let go of the model. Only to bring a hand up to cover a wide yawn. “’m almost done. Just have to measure out and cut my roof and make a couple wire trees.” He yawned again, glaring blearily at a roll of thin wire and a pair of pliers which lay amongst the mess.  
  
“I know, why don’t you come to bed, get at least an hour or two of sleep, and I’ll wake you when I get up for my lecture, so you can finish this off. You’re exhausted and probably could benefit from a bit of shut eye.” A hand moved into the footage, coming from behind the camera as it moved closer, to cup the side of the man on film’s face. He leaned into the touch, eyes slipping closed.  
  
They snapped back open a second later though, as he shook his head, clearly trying to shake away the exhaustion he felt. “What if I don’t finish though.”  
  
“You will, Bells. But you need to get some rest now, you’re functioning on diminished capacity. I’m sure after a bit of sleep you’ll be more efficient and capable.” The hand moved to lightly tug on the long strip of navy tie hanging beside his face. “You're so goofy. C'mon now, I’ll even carry you to bed.”  
  
At that the man on film visibly brightened, a smirk curving his mouth. “You will?”  
  
“’Course.”  
  
“Well then, best we head to bed – though you better wake me before you leave, yeah? I can’t hand in a half-finished model.”  
  
“I won’t forget, promise. Now, let me just put this thing down and I’ll cart your imperial arse to bed,” the cameraman chuckled, resulting in a few affronted splutters from the green-haired man, as the footage moved around clumsily, struggling to focus as some close-up, muffled sounds could then be heard.”  
  
“You also better not drop me.”  
  
“I would nev-” could only just be heard then before everything went black._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait (yet again), I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> *Also just a little note: obviously I don't endorse unprotected sex, unless you and your partner have both been recently tested (and found clean) and are aware of the consequences and are both consenting. Stay safe people <3  
> **(also seeing as I put that - I definitely do not endorse cheating on your partner, that's definitely never okay...)

_The camera zoomed in and out, before focusing on the back of a skinny man with bright, cherry-red hair, who was standing in front of a mirror fussing over the sleeves of his jumper. In the mirror’s reflection a blond man wearing a pair of sweats and holding a camera could just be seen beside the red-haired man’s reflection. The cameraman._

_“You look fine, baby. They’ll love you,” a voice off camera, the cameraman’s, said, the footage doing a slow pan up and down the red-haired man’s body. He was wearing a black jersey and smart grey trousers, a pair of polished black shoes on his feet._

_“Yeah, you sure?” he asked sceptically, eyes meeting the blond’s in the mirror._

_“’Course,” the blond nodded, before stepping closer, the other man filling the frame more as a result, until it was just their reflections that fitted. The blond could then be seen favouring his left hand for the camcorder, before he wrapped his right arm around the red-haired man’s waist._

_“Think they’ll mind the bright red hair?” the skinny man asked, self-consciously running his hands through his fringe of cherry-red hair._

_“Stop stressing, Bells. They will love you, how could they not? The colour of your hair is irrelevant – they haven’t seen you in nearly two and a half decades. The fact that you’re no longer the baby they last saw, but rather now a fully-grown man, will no doubt have all their attention.”_

_The red-haired man turned away from his reflection to instead hug the blond, causing the footage to lose focus, as the cameraman presumably hugged him back, close-up muffled resonances sounding out too as a result. The footage finally managed to focus on the black material of the red-haired man’s jersey._

_“Thanks. Love you, Dom. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”_

_“S’not a problem. Here, lemme turn this off and then I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”_

_“M’kay,” could just be made out, as the footage blurred again and loud muffled sounds could be heard, before the footage was cut._

  
»•«

  
"Mornin', sleepyhead," Dominic grinned down at Matthew when the brunet slowly awoke, blinking up in the morning light at his lover.

"Hi," Matt smiled, his voice husky from sleep, as he snuggled his cheek into the warm pillow of Dom's chest, the blond lazily stroking his fingers through Matt's thick, dark hair, his other clutching onto one of the other man's sharp hipbones.

"Sleep well?" he asked, his heart warm as he took in the sight of Matt's sleep-softened features, his fluffy hair sticking up.

"Yeah, I did, thanks. Sorry I fell asleep on you though," he apologised, his body tucked up snugly against Dom's right side, as he lazily began drawing mindless patterns on the other side of the blond's chest.

"Nah, s'okay, I didn't even notice, I must've fallen asleep right after you," Dom smiled back, his skin tingling under Matt's light touches.

"Must've been tuckered out after last night," Matt winked cheekily, causing Dom to squeeze his hip and make him jolt with a squeak.

"Cheeky sod," Dom laughed, as Matt looked back at him indignantly.

"Oi, it's true!" Matt argued, before scrabbling on top of Dom, trapping his hands above his head.

"Is it now?" Dom asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly.

"Yup," the brunet insisted, nodding his head, as he wiggled his bum to get comfortable sitting atop Dom's stomach.

"Ow, Jesus! Your bony arse is digging into me!" Dom yelped, but couldn't help from laughing, as he tried to free his arms.

"'Bony arse'?! Excuse you! You certainly didn't seem to have an issue with it last night!"

"Okay, okay, I love your bum," Dom managed to free his hands, moving them to wedge under where Matt was sitting, cupping his arse, "I always have – you know that – but that doesn't mean it isn't bony."

"Well at least something about me isn't fat then," Matt muttered, only for Dom to bowl him over playfully.

"Not this again, you silly man," Dom objected pinning the smaller man down as he then proceeded to blow raspberries on Matt's tummy, making him squeal and squirm about madly.

"DOM!"

"Okay, okay, but you know you're being silly, right? I adore every part of you. And. You. Are. Not. Fat," Dom insisted, punctuating the last bit with kisses to Matt's tummy.

"If only Leah felt the same... She put me on a diet, you know," Matt said quietly, his unusual mentioning of his wife grabbing Dom's attention, the pair usually trying to ignore her existence when together.

"Well..." the blond began, not too sure of what to say in response. "You're not on one as far as I'm concerned. Wanna have some blueberry waffles for breakfast? I bought a carton yesterday and I need to eat 'em soon," Dom suggested, nuzzling the side of his face against the slight swell of the brunet's tummy.

His stomach growled loudly in response, before the man himself could even comment.

"I'll take that as a yes, then," Dom giggled, pecking his belly with an affectionate kiss before hopping up.

"I'll go shower then, while you make the food," Matt winked, watching Dom's butt sway as he strode off out of the room.

"My, what a gentleman," Dom joked over his shoulder.

"Hey, just because it's been years since I last cooked for you, doesn't mean I've gotten any better at it. Let me assure you, I still burn water," Matt called after him, before then lazily getting up with a stretch and yawn.

"Lies! You could always make a mean pasta dish," Dom laughed from the passage, as Matt just scoffed and padded off to the bathroom.

Once his shower was done and with one of Dom's fluffy white towels wrapped around his waist, Matt headed over to the kitchen, where the blond was plating up steaming hot blueberry waffles.

"Ooh, hello, sexy," Dom grinned up at the freshly showered brunet, his toffee brown hair drying fluffily and skin still flushed from the warm water.

"Hello yourself, gorgeous," Matt winked back, as Dom wrapped his arms around his waist, their lips joining in a sweet kiss, before they ended it to lean their foreheads together; blue eyes meeting grey.

The two then made quick work of their waffles, both ravenous as they scoffed it all down, before topping it all off with some tea.

After breakfast, their bellies full and warm, Dom went to have his shower, with Matt joining him in the bathroom, so he could shave, his scruff getting a bit much even for him now. So, from his vantage point in the shower, Dom couldn't help but sneak glances at the other man, hopelessly in love with the domestic feel of it all. If only all mornings could start off like this, with Matt at his side.

"Fucking shit!"

"Shit, Matt, you okay? What happened?" Dom asked, the brunet's sudden cry startling him out of his daydreaming, as he hurriedly washed the shampoo suds out of his hair.

"Fine, fine. Just – ow, shit – cut myself," he explained, after grabbing some toilet paper to press against the small, but stinging, gash on the right side of his chin.

"Aww, Matt," having rinsed his hair and finished with showering, Dom carefully stepped out of the shower and quickly grabbed a towel to tie around his waist, before going over to where Matt was dabbing at his cut. "You should've been more careful, Bells," he said, putting a hand out to squeeze the smaller man's shoulder. "Guess you aren't used to my razor."

"Well I also got... distracted," he blushed, looking back at Dom, a piece of toilet paper stuck to the cut with a growing red line of blood and some shaving cream still giving him a small, white beard on the left side of his mouth and upper lip.

"Yeah?" Dom asked, stepping next to the brunet now as he picked up the dropped razor and swished it in the basin’s warm water.

"Well... you _were_ putting on quite a display mere meters from me. Guess I couldn't help myself," Matt explained with a guilty shrug, before Dom wiggled his eyebrows at him and then gave him a tender kiss.

"It's only fair, after all I was checking you out too. Pity you cut yourself though," Dom said when they'd parted, a bit of foam having transferred onto his own cheek, which Matt, giggling, swiped off with a long finger. "So, how's about you let me finish the job for you?"

Taking in the way Dom's water darkened hair hung wet against his forehead, his skin still slick with water and steaming from having been heated and nipples hardened in the temperature change, as well as his fluffy white towel hanging incredibly low around his hips, his v-lines on display; Matt could only nod dumbly.

Enjoying the way the brunet’s pupils were beginning to swallow the stunning blue of his irises – his eyes devouring the blond – and his small, pink lips were just barely parted, Dom couldn't resist giving him another quick kiss.

"Now hold still, Bells, don't wanna hurt you," Dom instructed, bringing up the razor to the still foamy side of Matt's face. He then, ever so carefully, began to gently shave what remained of Matt's foamy moustache and goatee beard. "Still not growing much on your cheeks?" Dom asked when he'd eventually managed to shave the last foamy stripe.

"Nope. Apparently that's never going to happen, I won't ever have a full beard. I'm like a fucking teenager..." Matt huffed, making the blond smile.

"Not quite, you grew even less then, if I go by what you were like when we first met," Dom chuckled, as Matt rinsed his face off, pulling the plug in the sink, before the blond handed him a hand towel to pat himself dry with.

"Rude," Matt muttered, as he hung up the hand towel again.

"Hey, I haven't been able to not notice that you've grown a bit more underarm hair and pubes," Dom reasoned with a shrug, making the brunet flush pink. "Slow developer; who knows, when you're fifty you may very well be able to grow a full beard!"

"Very rude!" Matt said as he poked Dom in the stomach. "At least that then explains your weird interest in my pubic hair though..."

"Aww, Bells, I love every bit of you, just the way you are. And, anyway, I don't know what you're so upset about, most men would kill to have as little body hair! And at least what you have is visible, mine’s all blond so you can barely tell I have chest hair anyway," Dom pointed out, scratching his chest absentmindedly.

"Whatever, Dom," Matt rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the curve to his lips. "Anyway, you're hardly hairy yourself," he pointed out, before swiftly yanking the towel from around his hips and throwing it over Dom's head, gripping either end. "But enough of this now, I wanna snog you silly." And with that he pulled Dom that tiny bit closer and the small height difference they had lower, uniting their lips in a fiery kiss.

The passion behind the kiss was so tangible, Matt's tongue dominating his mouth, that it was all he could do but wrap his arms around the smaller man's waist and pull him even closer. It was hardly surprising when both felt their erections meet, separated by only the material of Dom's towel, and making each moan into the other's mouth.

When they eventually broke the kiss, both panting slightly, Dom had to briefly shatter the fantasy of their secluded little universe. "How long do you have, you know, before you've got to be back? Enough time?" Not wanting to leave the brunet with any doubt as to what he meant, Dom moved his hands down to firmly cup each of Matt's arse cheeks, before pulling him even closer and grinding up against the other man.

Matt couldn't hold back the moan of desire, which escaped him at the blond's action. His pupils were fully blown and his cock was achingly hard. "Shouldn't be an issue if I get back just a little late."

"Good," Dom grinned lasciviously back at his lover, before hitching Matt up into his arms, using his grip on the smaller man's arse to his advantage.

"Fuck, Dom, the things you do to me," Matt groaned, the blond immediately claiming his small, pink mouth, as Matt abandoned the towel to instead wrap his arms around Dom's neck and his legs around the other man's waist; effectively ridding Dom of his loosely tied towel. "Want you so badly, fuck me in the shower? Been so long..."

Grinning happily into the kiss, Dom nodded, before letting Matt get to his feet again and leading him by the hand into the shower.

Once the water was raining down over them, Dom was on his knees pleasuring the brunet much like he had the previous night, but this time he was opening Matt up so he could squeeze in a lot more than just his tongue and fingers. So, panting and moaning, Matt stood with his legs parted and head resting on his folded arms against the wall before him.

When Dom got back up onto his feet, his cock thick and hard and dying for relief, he suddenly realised something.

"Shit, need a condom," he said, Matt still so close to the edge and coming down, couldn't believe what he was hearing. He needed Dom inside of him _now_.

"What?" he asked a bit breathlessly, twisting his neck to look back at Dom with his heavily lidded, lust-filled eyes.

"Condom? Got a bit carried away, slipping back into old habits with you," Dom chuckled giving Matt's arse a light slap.

"Fuck it, Dom. I'm clean, been in a monogamous relationship for years, only broke it with you. And you've always been really careful, I assume you've been tested regularly and are clean too?" Matt asked, turning around to loop his arms around Dom's waist, before hotly placing kisses along his neck.

"Yeah, 'course I'm clean," Dom nodded, his eyes rolling back a bit as Matt lowered a hand to start tugging on the blond's dick, while continuing his hot kisses.

" _So..._ let's just _fuck_ bare?" Matt suggested before swiping his tongue along Dom's full bottom lip. "Miss that. Miss you."

"Oh, Bells," Dom sighed, cupping the side of Matt's freshly shaven face, his skin silky and smooth. "Only if you're sure."

"Best believe it," Matt grinned in reply, before turning back into his earlier position, but sticking his bum out a bit more in invitation.

"God, you're gorgeous," Dom hummed, cupping Matt's arse cheeks, parting them, as he leaned in to nuzzle where the brunet's neck met his shoulder.

When he felt the head of Dom's hard, hot length brushing up against the valley of his arse, before nudging against his opening, Matt could only whine with need and excitement. Feeling rather excited himself, his heart beating fast, Dom then carefully pushed forward and into his lover, making the smaller man pant as he felt himself stretch around Dom's impressive erection.

The heat was incredible, Dom could feel Matt's tight velvety walls squeeze down on him hard, without anything in between; he felt so incredibly close to the other man. They were now the closest they could ever be to being one, and it drove them both wild.

Matt dropped one of his hands to feel behind himself, Dom watching as those long fingers moved down his front along with the water still falling over them, before tracing where the two joined, Dom balls deep inside the brunet, who was balancing up on the balls of his feet. Loving the way it looked, Dom brought up one of his own hands to join Matt's, before both abandoned their task to instead just hold hands.

"Such a sap," Matt joked, his voice a bit strained now and legs beginning to tremble.

"Only for you," Dom smiled, still holding Matt's hand as he moved their joined hands to press against the wall.

Matt couldn't resist craning his neck a bit so he could capture Dom's mouth with his own, just as the blond began to slowly and smoothly thrust into him.

From there they just snogged hotly, the water raining down over them, pasting their drenched hair flat, as their skin moved wetly against each other and Dom moved his hands to help support Matt as he fucked him slowly and tenderly. The only sounds were that of the pounding water slapping skin, panted moans and the wet sliding of mouths, as the two easily slipped back into that private little world of theirs.

Matt was the first to come, moaning, as the hand of Dom's arm holding him around the waist tugged on him, his cum painting the shower wall in front of him, his hand squeezing the hand Dom still had joined with his, much like his muscles clamped and fluttered around the blond's pulsing dick. The long, drawn out moan from the man he loved and the delicious heat and pressure around him, set Dom's own orgasm off, as he shot hot and hard inside the smaller man.

The almost forgotten sensation of being filled by Dom's cum, had Matt's moan stretching out even more, as his voice broke, his head hanging in front of himself and legs threatening to give out.

"Whoa, easy there, Bells," Dom soothed, supporting Matt as he gently tried to pull out, the smaller man wincing a bit in the process anyway. His arms then full of a completely buggered Matt, Dom somehow managed to turn off the water before sinking to the floor, Matt collapsing on top of him.

The two then just sat in a heap like that, panting and trying to collect themselves, Dom brushing Matt's water blackened hair out of his face, water droplets still sliding down and caught in his long eyelashes.

"You okay, baby?" Dom then asked, cupping Matt's face, his head wanting to flop forward.

"Y-yeah. Just feel like I've been reduced to jelly," he grinned back dopily, closing his eyes when Dom leaned forward to peck his lips gently. "And, gotta get used to this again," he added, shifting about in Dom's lap, the blond's cum leaking out of him still an odd sensation.

"Ew, you're getting it all over me!" Dom protested, moving Matt to sit in front of him, between his legs.

"Aww, Dom! The tiles are all cold! And it's all your cum anyway," Matt protested, wiggling about.

"You'll get used to it all," Dom chuckled, pulling Matt to lean back against him in his arms.

His head leant against Dom's shoulder, he turned it a bit so they could kiss tenderly.

"You called me 'baby' again. You did it last night too," Matt suddenly pointed out when they'd parted lips, his forehead now resting against the side of Dom's neck.

"Hmm, I did? Didn't even realise it," Dom hummed, placing a kiss to Matt's wet mop of hair, his fingers stroking the brunet's water-slickened skin.

"Yeah." Matt then kissed Dom's collarbone, which was mere inches from his lips in his current position.

The old term of endearment warmed the inside of Matt's heart and made him feel giddy with love; Dom the only lover who'd ever used it for him. It never failed to make him feel safe and loved and that was something he very much craved and had lacked in his time without the blond. His mistake had been starting to take it for granted and then only realising this when it was too late.

"You still like it, when I call you that?" It was more a statement than question.

"Yeah," Matt blushed, burying his head more into Dom's neck.

"Hmm, interesting," Dom hummed playfully, squeezing Matt tighter, sliding his fingers into the brunet's wet hair from the back, so he could support his head as he pulled in for another, deeper kiss.

  
===

 

"Aww, hello, Sammy sweetheart!" Judy Bingham greeted warmly, as her over excited granddaughter rushed into her arms. Her son and his children had come to visit for the weekend, her daughter in-law supposedly working.

"Hi, Nan!" the little girl smiled happily. "Look! I lost a tooth!" she excitedly showed Judy, opening her mouth wide as she pointed at the small gap in her bottom row of milk teeth.

"Ooh, very nice," Judy smiled, playfully tugging the little girl's messy braids.

"Yes! And Daddy says that if I put it under my pillow, the Tooth Fairy will leave me money!" Sammy explained proudly.

"That's right, dear. Best you keep that tooth safe," her gran winked, before looking up to where her son's red Mini Cooper was parked in front of her house. Matt had finally managed to calm down a temper tantrum throwing Elliot, who refused to let his dad get him into his pram.

"Come, let's go help your dad carry, seems he's got his arms full," Judy suggested, standing up straight again and heading over to help out.

"Hi, Mum. Sorry, Elliot's decided that he's not so into his pram today," Matt apologised, his mum giving him a quick peck, a red-faced Elliot in his arms and propped on his hip.

"Hi, sweetie. That's okay, Sammy and I will help take in the bags," Judy smiled, squeezing her son's shoulder before leaning in to place a peck on little Elliot's forehead. "Hello, Elly darling."

And with that, Sammy grabbed her bag full of toys, colouring in books and crayons and her small suitcase of clothes, Judy taking the bag full of things for Elliot, like diapers and jars of baby food, as well as the bigger bag of clothing for the boys.

When they got inside, Sammy quickly situated herself at the coffee table in front of the telly, turning it onto cartoons and spreading out her crayons and drawing book. Judy meanwhile went to go make some tea, Matt following his mum with his son firmly clutching onto his side.

"Elliot's still not so good with separation, he's been like this since I got back the other day. Freaks out when I leave him alone for two seconds, like he thinks I'm about to leave him all alone," Matt explained, bouncing the baby in his arms a bit, while Judy got out some cups for the two of them.

"Aww, he just missed his daddy a lot," Judy smiled, ruffling the toddler's tufts of hair. "He'll grow out of it. He's just not used to you being gone for long periods of time."

"Yeah, I know, just a bit of a handful now, is all," Matt nodded, only for Elliot's chubby little fingers to start pulling on his hair. "Ow! No, Elliot, don't do that!" Matt yelped, trying to pry his little fist open, while still support the child in his arms.

"Here, give him to me for a bit, sweetie," Judy offered, her arms open, having already poured out the tea and wanting to give her exhausted looking son a hand.

"He'll just throw yet another tantrum," Matt hesitated, but when his mum just raised a challenging eyebrow in response, he sighed and handed Elliot over, the toddler surprisingly allowing the transaction with some garbled baby mumbles and giggles.

"Elliot, sweetheart, no," Judy disciplined when the toddler began to try tug on her blonde, shoulder length hair. This time he listened.

"What, how'd you do that?" Matt asked in awe, his son not even throwing a tantrum that he was no longer in his daddy's arms. "He wouldn't even let Leah take him."

"I don't know, maybe he just wanted his nan's touch," Judy grinned, bouncing the tiny child in her arms and pecking his little button nose, making him giggle.

“Naaaaaana!” Elliot just squealed happily.

"Well I'll be damned..." Matt shook his head, picking up the cups of tea, as his mum got the tin of biscuits and followed him into the lounge, where Sammy's eyes grew bigger at the sight of biscuits.

"Biscuits!"

"Sammy, go easy on them. Don't have too many," Matt warned, putting down the cups as Judy put the tin down on the coffee table amongst all of Sammy's things too.

"It's fine, I can always just get some more," Judy smiled as she sat down on the sofa, little Elliot atop her lap.

"She'll easily polish the lot off and Leah would freak," Matt explained, sitting down next to his mum, Sam already stuffing her face with a biscuit, another on standby in her other hand.

"This wouldn't happen if she got to have treats more often, Leah's too strict on her. On you both," Judy said, adding the last bit when Matt guiltily snagged a chocolate one for himself.

"Nah, she's got a point. She just wants us to be healthy," Matt mumbled in reply, but couldn't help the quirk to his lips when he recalled his welcome home greeting having ended in a 'Well you've put a bit more on' from Leah.

"Ah-huh, well you look just fine now, sweetie," Judy said firmly, giving her son's arm a squeeze.

"Thanks, Mum. Want me to take him off your hands?" Matt offered, his head nudging in Elliot's direction.

"No, no. It's fine. It's quite nice actually, after all I never really got to interact with you when you were this age and he looks so very much like you did. It's silly, but in a way I feel like this is my chance to experience what I missed out on," she explained quietly, before looking up from the child teething on her scarf, to her own son, regret all over her features. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there when it was you. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think about it."

"It's okay, Mum. You did what was best for me, I understand. Like I've said before, I don't want you feeling guilty for something you really had no control over," Matt assured her, moving to hold her hand.

"Well I should never have been so stupid to have gotten myself in that situation in the first place at that age. But I will forever be happy that I went against my parents wishes and still had you," she smiled, a small tear sliding down her cheek as she squeezed his hand. "And Anna has my eternal gratitude for helping raise you into the man you are today."

Having had Matt when she was just sixteen and being unable to give him proper care; Matt's father and her future husband, Anthony, not much older, unemployed and disliked by her family, she hadn't had much option but to give up her baby for adoption.

When she'd found Anna Bellamy through the agency, a sweet, middle-aged woman, who'd recently been widowed, she'd known straight away that she was exactly whom she wanted to have her baby boy. Anna had been ever so grateful and excited to have the honour and when Judy had asked if she could choose his name, Anna had been only too pleased to keep the child as Matthew, but had added 'James' as his middle name in memory of her late husband. So, when Matthew had then been born several weeks prematurely, Judy had known she'd made the right choice. She would never have been able to raise the tiny baby herself.

So now they sat, mother and son, having been reunited now for close to a decade, much having occurred, both good and bad, in that time.

A little while later, Elliot napping in his dad's lap now, the separation anxiety having come back, and Sammy completely absorbed in Scooby-Doo, Judy brought up the other issue that had been bothering her ever since she'd seen Matt's face.

"You're not sleeping, sweetie, are you? You look tired, is the insomnia bugging you again?" she asked, her eyes taking in the dark rings around her son's eyes.

"Uh, yeah, but don't worry about it, Mum," Matt shrugged dismissively, not wanting to talk about his lack of sleep, for he knew exactly where the source came from.

"Matty, something's clearly worrying you..."

"Mum, it's fine. Don't worry," Matt insisted, shifting Elliot a bit as his right leg was starting to go dead.

"Matt, you know you can tell me anything," she persisted, moving her hand to pat his knee reassuringly.

"I know and I'm grateful for that, but don't worry about it."

"Hmm, whatever you say, sweetie. We both know I'll have you spilling sooner or later."

"We'll see," Matt joked nervously, before looking over to where Sammy was staring at the screen, singing along to the credits, desperate to change the topic. "Ooh, so who was the bad guy, Monkey?"

"The race car driver," she replied before just launching into a detailed recap of his motives and how he did it.

As he sat there, half listening, Matt knew that it was going to be a very long weekend.

  
»•«

  _  
“How’d it go?” The footage came into focus to show a man with bright red hair lying spread out on a double bed. The man startled at the question, sitting up to look up, first at the camera and then at a point somewhere behind it._

_“Really, Dom. You’re gonna film this?” he asked, running a hand through his already dishevelled mess of vibrant red hair. He looked tired._

_“Well, uh, yeah? Figured I may as well, seeing as I filmed you a bit earlier before you went off. I can always delete the footage later if you want me to?” the first voice, the cameraman’s, asked._

_The man on film just sighed. “Alright. Yeah. How was the footie game, you go down to the usual?”_

_“Yeah, the Stag and Hare. Was packed, we won so Chris bought us all free rounds.”_

_“You not pissed then, love?” the man on film asked, smirking over at the point behind the camera._

_“Nope, my tolerance is amazing – you know that. Also, don’t think you’re gonna distract me. How’d it go? Were they nice? What were they like?”_

_“Whoa, whoa, do calm down, Dommeh. Someone’s not quite as sober as they think they are…”_

_“Matt.”_

_“Alright, alright, I’ll talk,” the red-haired man raised his hands in surrender. “Why don’t you put that camera away first and we can cuddle and I’ll tell you all about it. It was… wow… As you well know, I’ve never met anyone I’m related to before – that I share DNA with. So that was… well, emotional. Now c’mon.” He made grabby hands at the camera then, prompting a sigh from the cameraman. It sounded unmistakably found._

_“Hang on a sec.” There was some muffled noises as the footage shifted down to show the bottom of a pair of baggy black jeans and a scuffed pair of trainers, before it suddenly cut to black._  



	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update! Hope you are still enjoying this? <3
> 
> In this chapter: Protective/concerned Chris, self-reflection, apologies and decisions to be made...

_The footage was clearly filmed from a window, the street and parked cars below in frame, as the camera filmed swirls of white slowly drifting down to land on the scene beneath its vantage. The few people in shot were bundled up, rushing past to no doubt get out of the cold, except for a pair of young girls across the street._

_The two children were dancing, arms linked and faces directed heavenward, as they made their way merrily down the street, their laughter carrying across to be picked up by the camera faintly. The camera zoomed in a little more to focus on the pair, filming as they stuck their tongues out to catch the snowflakes and giggled with what looked like wonder._

_“Filming children now, are you? Not creepy at all,” a playful voice teased from off camera, the footage suddenly jumping and blurring as the cameraman swung around, clearly caught off guard. When the footage managed to stabilise and zoom out, it now showed a smirking man with bright, cherry red hair standing in what appeared to be the inside of a bedroom._

_“God, Matt, warn a man before you just sneak up, will you?” the cameraman grumbled, focusing the footage better, until the red-haired man’s bright blue eyes became clear. “And I was actually filming the snow first – the girls just came into picture and made it that much better. Look how mesmerized they are by it. All the adults are just marching on, trying to get out of it, yet the two of them are excitedly embracing it._ Appreciating _its beauty.”_

_“God, you are such a sap, I swear,” the red-haired man grumbled and made a show of rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the affection he clearly felt towards the cameraman off of his face, his lips twitching into a smile._

_“Why don’t you just come stand by me and watch the snow?” the cameraman asked, the footage blurring as the camera clearly moved, before focusing again on the view outside, the two little girls still skipping about, flecks of snow in their hair and on their clothes, cheeks ruddy with the cold and smiles wide._

_“Or we could just go outside and see it properly?” the other man suggested, voice sounding closer as he no doubt walked over to the cameraman. “Hmm, they are quite sweet. Where are their parents though, should they really be running around on their own? They look, what, seven at most?”_

_“I think the blonde girl just lives a few houses down; she looks familiar. Since when are you so worried about kids anyway?” It was now the cameraman who had a teasing lilt to his voice._

_“Just a concerned citizen. Don’t know if I’d let our kids run around at that age unsupervised.”_

_“_ Our _kids, huh? So, you really are thinking of having some one day then?”_

_“Well who else is going to watch these stupid tapes back one day? The amateur porn aside, of course.”_

_“Matt! You can’t say that on this tape – now they’ll know those exist!” the cameraman laughed loudly. “And you were sounding so cute there for a sec! Always have to ruin the moment.”_

_“Shh, then we’ll just have to stop talking about it,” the other man laughed too, the cameraman clearly giving up on filming properly as the footage blurred about between what looked like jean-clad legs, carpeted flooring and socked feet, the pair giggling._

_“Alright, alright. Let’s just go out and play in the falling snow ourselves then,” the cameraman suggested, a shout of approval sounding from the other man could then be heard as a muffled rustling sounded around the camera, before the footage cut out._

 

»•«

 

"...and so then he asked me to fuck him, bareback, in the shower. So I did," Dom whispered to Tom, the three friends, including Chris, were at the gym working out together like they did most Sunday mornings.

"You're kidding!" Tom exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly, though Chris had already heard Dom's part of the conversation too. He just shook his head disapprovingly.

"Nope," Dom shook his head, unable to suppress the smile on his face or the fluttering in his heart.

"Well, I guess there's a great advantage to being with another bloke; at least you know there's no chance he'll fall pregnant," Tom joked. "And, how was it then? S'quite a serious step."

"Bloody fucking unbelievable, mate. You have no idea–"

"I take it you've yet to speak to him?" Chris interrupted, dumping his weights.

"Well, er," Dom began awkwardly, still holding Tom's feet, the brunet having been doing sit-ups on one of the benches. "Um, no, that is to say–"

"So wait, let me get this straight: instead of establishing where the fuck this all is going, you just went straight ahead and got yourself even further entangled in this fuck up?" Chris said, more than asked, shaking his head in disappointment. "And, Tom, you're not helping him by just encouraging this madness! Come on, Dom. You deserve so much better. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Because I _love_  him, Chris! I  _am_ going to talk to him, his visit was just a surprise and–"

"Stop making excuses, Dom," Chris sighed. "Look, I don't want to upset you. I'm just worried about you, 'cause it's obvious that _someone_  is going to get hurt with this all. And we all know it's most likely going to be you."

Not wanting to hear anymore, even though he knew Chris was only concerned for him, Dom couldn't stand to hear what he knew to really be the truth, the blond grabbed his towel and stormed off to go get showered and head off to work; he had a house to show today and was dying for the distraction.

Without Matt at his side, that little fantasy universe of theirs just slipped by and seemed so far away and out of his reach...

  
===

 

Typically, Matthew found sleep evading him as he tossed and turned, unable to rest his tired eyes; his mother's questioning from earlier playing through his mind. Not only was he an awful husband and father, but an awful son as well. 

Sighing, he turned to see that Sammy was at least still asleep. His mother having moved to a smaller, two-bedroom house after his father's death, he'd just shared the double spare room bed with his daughter, having fetched Elliot's camp cot from the car before putting the sleepy toddler to bed. Sammy had then stayed up a bit longer, before he'd gone to read her a bedtime story, figuring he could also do with an early night, he'd just joined her in trying to find sleep.

Of course it hadn't worked, not really, for he'd only managed a couple hours and was now wide-awake. Even those few hours had also taken a while to achieve, with the little girl complaining that he was keeping her awake, because he was moving around too much. Her sleep-grumpy complaints reminded him an awful lot of Leah. Thankfully now, though, she was fast asleep, cuddling onto her teddy bear, which had a pair of its own pajamas even. 

Thinking he may as well get a glass of milk, a midnight habit from when he was younger and couldn't sleep, Matt quietly slid out of bed, careful not to disturb Sammy. Then, before he left the room, he quickly checked on Elliot too, whose camp cot was against the wall facing the bed.

The little toddler was also still sound asleep, by some miracle he seemed to have taken after Leah in the respect that he'd never really given them much trouble with waking at night. Looking down at his baby boy, all snuggled up under his blanky and clutching onto his own stuffed animal – an impossibly soft little fox Matt had found for his first birthday the previous year – Matt couldn't resist but lean down and gift the top of his soft tufts of hair a feather-light kiss.

Then, as quietly as he could, Matt slipped out of the room and went downstairs and straight to the kitchen, shivering slightly as it was rather chilly to only be wearing his striped red PJ bottoms and a grey tee; winter definitely well on its way.

As he padded gingerly over the tiled floors on his bare feet, he went to get a glass from one of the cabinets, before opening the fridge door. He was just crouching down to get the milk, when he was startled.

"Matthew?"

"Holy shit, Mum!" he hissed as quietly as he could, having practically leapt to the ceiling in fright, now clutching at his rapidly beating heart, as he turned around to face her.

He must have missed her on his way in, for she was sitting only a few feet away at the breakfast table, her own glass of milk in front of herself.

"Sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to frighten you," Judy apologised and got up to hand Matt his glass, as he went to go get the milk. "The kids asleep?"

"Yeah, just... thought I should get a glass of milk..." Matt replied sheepishly, pouring his glass of milk. Despite not having known him his entire life, his mother could still read him like a book and he knew it.

"Because you're having trouble sleeping?" Judy asked knowingly, putting back the milk for him.

Sighing, he nodded, as they both went to go sit down at the small, round table.

"Join the club, kiddo," she shrugged. "Guess it's not just my eyes you inherited from me, sweetie. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he mumbled, taking a sip then of his milk.

"Hmm, and then this brings us back to the question: what _is_  troubling you at the moment? You know you can always tell me anything, Matty," Judy assured him, reaching over to pet his free hand, the right clutching on tightly to his glass.

"Mum, I said not to worry," Matt said softly, his stomach churning with guilt.

Seeing the way Matt was all tensed up, lack of sleep evident in his worried eyes and the way his cute skew teeth were biting on his bottom lip, Judy knew something clearly was worth worrying about.

"Sweetie, you're not having trouble with money are you? I don't have much, but I can always see what I can do to help," she offered, only making him feel even worse – if that were possible – as she squeezed his hand.

"No, no. It's not that, Mum. Really," he said weakly, pulling his hand away. "I don't want you to worry."

"Is it something to do with Leah?" Judy asked tersely, yet ever persistently, as she knew that Matt was just like his father in many ways; you just had to keep digging.

Unlike her late husband, she wasn't exactly Leah's greatest fan. That also, however, didn't mean she disliked the girl. Leah had her charms and could be lovely, but Judy also knew that Matthew and her fought constantly and thought she was a bit too self-important, amongst other things.

That was too much for Matt though, for his mum to think that Leah may have done something wrong, for she was, after all, the innocent party in this all, as Matt's guilt wouldn't let him forget. So, unable to meet his mother's eyes, he dropped his head in shame, hands having moved under the table to knot in the hem of his tee; that classic old nervous tic of his.

"No. No, it's not Leah... it's me."

Matt's softly spoken words and the obvious importance of them, made Judy sit up straighter. What could possibly be wrong? Was Matt sick? Was there something horribly wrong with him?

Trying to calm down, Judy moved closer, able to see, even in the dim lighting, how Matt was clutching at his top tensely.

"What is it? What's wrong, dear?" she asked, reaching out to try hold one of his hands, but he pulled away. "Please, sweetie. You're starting to worry me. I was telling the truth when I said you can tell me anything; what's bothering you?"

"Y-you'll be so disappointed in me though," he replied, his voice barely a whisper and full of regret, his eyes still refusing to look back at her. "You may even h-hate me for it..." he then added, his voice breaking a bit.

Judy couldn't believe her ears, or her eyes as she then saw a tear, glinting in the moonlight streaming in through the kitchen windows, slide down one of her son's cheeks. She'd never seen Matthew cry.

"M-Matty, what's wrong? You can tell me anything – _anything_ at all – and no matter what, I could never hate you," she said, trying her best for all the love she felt for him to come through, as she moved her chair over to pull him into her arms, but he still tried to avoid her. "I love you, sweetie. I always have and always will, no matter what."

"I-I don't deserve your love," he argued, wiping that lone tear aside with a knuckle. "I don't deserve _her_  love either."

"Of course you do! What's going on, tell me, please, Matty," she pleaded, hating to see how distressed he was.

"I don't," he shook his head, looking down at his fingers, tangled in his top, before whispering, "I'm having an affair."

Those last four words nearly knocked Judy right out of her seat. Never in her life had she ever expected to hear such a thing from Matthew, her tiny baby boy, once gone but now returned. In her eyes he was flawless, yet now he had confessed to this, to cheating on his wife, the mother of his children?

At first, she didn't know what to say. Out of all the things it could have been, this was the last she'd expected. So, she went with what instinct made her say first.

"Who with?"

"Mum?" he sniffed, finally managing to look up at her stunned face. He felt like he had a hole forming in his chest, the guilt and shame literally eating away at him.

"I asked, who with? Who are you seeing behind your wife's back?" She didn't mean to sound so critical and harsh, but she couldn't help it, she would never have pegged her dear, sweet Matty as an adulterer.

"I-I ran into Dom again... D-Dominic Howard an-and... I... we... it just..." Matt tried his best to explain himself, but he couldn't help but feel awful and like he didn't deserve his mother's understanding.

No, he deserved anger, because if she was angry about him having an affair? She'd be absolutely furious that it was with another man...

Though, as the words and the old name sunk in, the fire inside Judy Bingham was instantly snuffed out.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Mum. I-I didn't mean to! I j-just, he, well... I love him. I love him and I always have. I-I never forgot about him, never properly moved on. I-I tried to, but... I know I shouldn't have... b-but I can't help it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so selfish. I'm a hor-horrible person. I-I'm s-so, s-so v-ver-very so-sorry." Panicking at his mother's lack of a response, Matt had done what he always did when nervous: rambled. That is, of course, until those tears which had steadily begun to run from his eyes got to be too much. He was so weak – such a dreadful human being – he deserved this. He'd brought it all upon himself.

"Oh, Matthew."

The sound of his mother's voice, sad and full of caring concern, startled him, he'd expected shouting, anger or even just silence, so he looked up in surprise, sniffling.

"M-Mum?" he asked, confused, only for her to envelope him in her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Matthew," she sniffed, tears beginning to fill her own eyes too.

"S-sorry? Why are y-you sorry? Why aren't you mad?" he asked, completely startled, as Judy held him close, rubbing his back.

"This is all my fault. I should have stood up for you, not have let your father force you to choose between that boy and us. I should be sorry, I failed _you_ , Matthew. Now, because of my failings, you've been forced to live a life that's not true to who you are," she sniffed, moving back a bit to cup Matt's face. "I know you love your kids – you're a brilliant father – and I know you care for Leah, but it was always going to be Dominic. You loved him so very much, I could tell, but I was too weak to stand up for you. I let Anthony get his way, when I should have been forcing _him_  to choose."

"Y-you're not mad?" Matt sniffed, "You aren't disgusted by the fact that I'm in love with another man? That I went against you and D-Dad?"

"Oh, sweetie, no. I will admit it was a shock when you first brought him over, to find you were with another man. But it was obvious that the two of you were very much in love and maybe, as I have done, I would have gotten used to the idea. But your father..."

"He hated Dom," Matt filled in resentfully.

"Dear, you must understand, we grew up in very traditional families and he was so set in his ways, he loved you, Matty. I hope you know that, he really did. He thought he was doing what was best for you..." Judy tried to explain, knowing her words to be true, after all, the only time she'd ever really seen Tony shed a tear, was when they'd given their newborn baby away. He'd just refused to accept the fact then that his baby son, his only child, had grown up and returned to them, only for him to bring home another boy as his lover. For his 'soul' to be corrupted as he was left to watch on.

"Well he didn't, he's left me an unfaithful and unworthy husband, let alone what kind of father my kids now have..."

"Oh, sweetie. You're a fantastic father, you love those kids and are utterly devoted to them!" Judy insisted, brushing some of Matt's messy fringe off of his face.

"No, I'm not. What kind of a father puts his own needs before those of his children? They don't deserve to have me as their dad," Matt argued, pulling away a bit.

"Oh, Matty, sweetie, stop being so hard on yourself," Judy said, squeezing his hand. "You're just human at the end of the day and what the heart wants..."

"Mum, I don't understand how you can suddenly be so understanding. I'm an adulterer, I broke one of the sacred rules of your and Dad's precious book!"

"Matthew," she sighed sadly, wishing religion and faith didn't always come up whenever she or (when he'd been alive) Tony ended up arguing with Matt. She was tolerant and accepted that he didn't have the same views as her, no matter how much she wished he would at least find * _some_ * faith. "How can I be? This is not a matter of lust, which is meaningless and fleeting, but of love. How can I begrudge you that love – the love that you were forced to deny so wrongly in the past? All I * _can_ * say is a suggestion that you sort everything out; you need to make right by both Dominic and Leah. Neither deserve to live a half life in your heart."

His torn heart feeling exposed and open for his mother's insightful eyes and to the inevitable pain, which he knew would come with actually making a decision, made Matthew close his own eyes, simply just to hold back the wetness he could feel building again.

He was about to reply, though he wasn't quite sure with what, when a padding of feet could be heard and suddenly Sammy was standing in front of them in her fluffy white, blue and lime polkadot PJ's, her sleepy expression confused.

"Daddy? Nana?"

Sniffing, trying to put back on the mask and hide his weakness from her, Matt tried to crack a smile at his little girl.

"Hey, Monkey, what're you doing up?"

"What's wrong, darling, did we wake you?"

She just shook her head of messy, dark blonde hair. "No. Woke up and Daddy wasn't there anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sammy," Matt apologised, sitting straighter when the little girl went to sit on his lap. "I didn't mean to scare you." He shifted and got them both into a more comfortable position, his arms wrapping loosely around her middle.

"Your daddy and I were just talking, sweetheart. It's probably best we all go back to bed now, though," Judy smiled kindly picking up her empty glass and putting it in the sink. "I'll see you two in the morning, sleep well," she then greeted, planting a kiss on both of their heads, her hand squeezing Matt's shoulder briefly, before leaving them.

"Can I drink the rest of that?" Sammy asked then, pointing at Matt's half-drunk glass of milk.

"Of course you can, love," Matt smiled, but it didn't quite reach all the way to his eyes. His heart now felt sad and heavy.

“Thank you,” she smiled in turn, prompting Matt to kiss her temple and gently squeeze her, as she helped herself to the glass.

His mind was still a hive of troubled thoughts when he found himself once more curled up in bed, Sammy back to clutching her bear and fast asleep at his side – the tooth he’d told her to place under her pillow earlier when she’d first gone to bed gone and a pound coin now in its place. He knew, with the decision he knew he had to make, that sleep would not find him.

 

»•«

 

_The footage was dark and fuzzy before suddenly lighting up to show a kitchen coming into focus, the camera moving to film a man with bright yellow hair sitting slouched against a cabinet on the white tiled floor, wearing a pair of grey boxers and a stretched out old navy jumper._

_As the camera got in closer to the man, he glanced up to look back at it with tired blue eyes, dark rings beneath them. He offered a small, closed mouth smile._

_“What’re you doing up?” he asked, his voice sounding as tired as he looked, as the camera suddenly dipped downwards, the person wielding it clearly joining the man on the floor._

_“Woke up and you weren’t in bed, so I thought I’d join you. You are so predictable,” a voice off camera, that of the cameraman’s, replied, the camera briefly zooming in on the half empty glass of milk beside the yellow-haired man. “If you’re not up all night with a project, it’s your insomnia that keeps you up at ungodly hours.”_

_“And you thought you should bring the camcorder with you, did you?” the man on film asked, shaking his head with a fond smile._

_“Yeah, thought it could perhaps provide a bit of entertainment.”_

_“Yeah? But you get so touchy when I film mockumentaries,” the yellow-haired man said, raising a dark eyebrow challengingly, though his eyes still looked drawn and exhausted._

_“Well that’s ‘cause you always sneak up on me when you do it. This way I can use the camcorder more usefully to distract you and hopefully your mind, you really do need to get some sleep sooner or later. The problem is that that mind of yours is so busy working overtime, in its own little world, that you can’t get a break; so here I am to distract.”_

_“And how, pray tell, do you plan on doing that?” the yellow-haired man asked, a rather lascivious smirk curling his thin lips._

_“It always comes back to sex with you, doesn’t it?” the cameraman asked with a put-upon sigh, before he chuckled along with the man on film, who just shrugged._

_“Well, if this isn’t about sex, here, let me have a go filming. The whole clip can’t just be of my tired mug,” he said, reaching out a long-fingered hand toward the camera._

_There was a sigh from off camera before the footage blurred about briefly and then settled to show another man sitting awkwardly on the tiled floor, this one with short, messy blond hair and wearing a pair of white boxers and a_ Queen _t-shirt._

_“Come on, Dom, smile and wave hello at the camera,” the first man’s voice, now coming from off camera, said. “You look like a sack of potatoes right now.”_

_Rolling his grey eyes, the man forced a rather fake looking smile and half-heartedly waved his hand, before putting it right back down. “There, happy?”_

_“It’ll do. Now, do tell those of us that can’t sleep – so that I may live vicariously through you – what exactly were you dreaming about?” the new cameraman asked._

_“Seriously?” the blond man asked._

_“Aww, c’mon, Dom, thought you said you wanted to entertain me?”_

_“Okay fine, fine, just stop pouting, you really look like a sad, pitiful puppy right now.”_

_“Why thank you, it has taken many days of minimal to no sleep to achieve this look. I do try. Now, do share your dream? Be grateful, I’m one of those people that is actually interested in hearing you blab about this kinda thing.”_

_Despite his words though, as the blond man on film began to recall his dream, the camera began to wonder slowly, zooming in on the man on film’s feet and then toes. Moving to pan up along his body and pausing for a while on his bobbing Adam’s apple, before settling a while on one of his ears._

_Eventually, the man on camera stopped his story, but the footage still continued to dip and wander over his body, until he pointedly cleared his through, prompting the footage to zoom out again and film him properly once more._

_“Sorry,” the cameraman apologised sheepishly, the blond shaking his head and smiling despite himself._

_“C’mon you, finish your milk and come back to bed with me; you do need to try and sleep. I’ll even give you a back and neck massage, I know that sometimes helps.”_

_“Would you be willing to massage more than just my back and neck?” came a rather cheeky response, followed by high-pitched giggles when the man on film made a big show of frowning and clicking his tongue disapprovingly._

_“’Course, if you’re a good boy I’ll see what I can do.”_

_“Deal.”_

_Suddenly the camera blurred about again before focusing again, this time the footage was from a higher vantage and trained towards the floor, a pair of pale, long feet and toes on camera, the cameraman having stood now._

_“Oh God, I didn’t say it was a race, you’re messing all over yourself!” the man who had been on film’s voice could be heard from off camera, as a few white splashes of milk landed on the tiles to join the pair of feet._

_“Good thing you also like milk then!” came the other man’s response, the footage and feet now moving across the floor before a clatter of glass on metal could be heard._

_“Matt, don’t forget to turn the camera off, don’t wanna waste all the battery now – nor the footage on stupid stuff like the floor.”_

_“Dom, it just recorded your dream, at this point in time, the floor’s way more interesting.” Another pair of long feet, but with less lengthy toes, came into the picture now to join the other pair._

_“Oi! I resent that, you asked me to tell you about it!”_

_“Yeah, well, that was my mistake. I’d thought it would be something interesting and steamy, starring me.”_

_“Pssht, not quite, now keep it down, we don’t wanna wake Tom.”_

_“Ugh, when are you moving out again?”_

_“Says the man who still lives with his mother.”_

_“Ouch, Dom, that was low. I’m a broke student and besides, Anna does my washing and feeds me,” he defended. One of the long, pale feet lightly moved to stand on one of the feet from the other pair, which just shook it off in response. “Besides, if you get your own apartment, I could think of moving in with you...” His voice suddenly sounded shy._

_“Yeah, so I’d have to deal with your sleepless zombie ways every night?” The other man clearly chose to keep things light._

_“You’d be so lucky.”_

_“I would.” The second pair of feet moved closer to the first pair, before there was suddenly a sound off camera that sounded rather a lot like kissing. “Now come, turn that damn camera off and let’s go back to bed.”_

_“Alright.” There was some muffled sounds of fumbling and blurring of the footage before it all suddenly cut out._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is so ridiculously late in coming... I hope some of you have been patient and are still interested in this fic. I honestly do plan on finishing this - life just does get in the way... Hope you'll enjoy it <3
> 
> Also, happy Halloween if you celebrate or just like dressing up. Or just like sweets...or whatever.

_“What could you possibly want to film now?”_

_The camera footage focused on a sleepy looking blond man, curled up in the corner of a couch, a pair of mismatched socked feet (which had to be those of the person filming) perched on his lap._

_“You.” The reply from off camera from undoubtedly the cameraman came._

_“Seriously, Bells? I’m just sat here watching a movie – a movie you should be watching with me,” the blond pointed out, raising one of his eyebrows._

_“Ah, but I am. I also just so happen to be making a movie of our own – they can’t all just be smutty or silly, Dommeh. Thought I’d just record a nice little moment shared between us, you know, for our future grandkids. Only now you’ve just gone and spoiled the mood…” The camera angle dropped a little, as if showing the pout that was so clear in the cameraman’s voice._

_“Our grandkids, huh?” the blond asked, a smile beginning to curl his lips._

 _“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one that first brought up the topic of us having grandkids.” The camera angle shifted some more, the focus no longer very clear and the blond barely still in shot._

_“Yeah, well, I was trying to coax you out of thoughts of making us into porn stars.”_

_“Yeah, and how did that work out for you?” The cameraman’s voice carried a hint of smugness to it._

_“Matt,” the blond whined. “Anyway, technically, we still aren’t porn stars, those tapes are strictly for us only. I swear, they’re never going to leave my cupboard.”_

_“Oh, don’t be such a prude, Dom. We both know you’d make a fucking killing in the industry.”_

_“Oh my God, why are we even having this conversation…”_

_“Yes, why the fuck_ are _you? I seriously did not need to know about the fact that you lot have gone and filmed yourselves fucking either. Please don’t tell Tom, he’ll just wanna direct the next one and no doubt insist I watch his ‘art’,” another voice from off camera, not quite as close as the other two said._

 _“Oh, shit, Chris, I thought you’d gone to bed,” the blond said, surprise clear in his voice as the camera suddenly shifted, the image blurring until a tall man with a mess of curls could be seen, leaning in the doorway of the room they were in._

_“I got up to get some water and heard you lot making a noise–Oh for fuck’s sake, Matt, don’t film me!” The man’s hands quickly came up to cover his face, as he then turned around and walked out of the room, his voice still faintly audible in his retreat, “You lot are all so fucking weird. I need to find new friends.”_

_“And you need to find your own place…” the cameraman grumbled, the footage blurring as the camera moved, only to then focus on a pair of stretched out trackie bottom clad legs._

_“Funny you should mention that actually…” the blond man’s voice could be heard again, still from off screen. The cameraman appeared to have forgotten about his camera again._

_“You didn’t?!”_

_“I’m going to check out a flat that looks pretty damn promising tomorrow. You wanna come?”_

_“Is the pope catholic? Of course I’ll come! Holy shit, Dom! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”_

_“I was going to tell you after the viewing, in case I didn’t like it, but, well, fuck it. You did mention you might be inclined to move in with me if I got my own place, so I reckon your approval of the flat is pretty important too…”_

_“Fuck, Dom, that’s exciting! You know I was just pulling your leg by nagging.” The footage went blurry again, static sounding out, but the sounds of some kissing could still be heard in and amongst the interference, before the footage just cut out to black._  

 

»•«

  

“Hello?” Dominic’s heartbeat instantly picked up a bit at the sound of Matthew’s voice, as the brunet answered his phone. 

“Hey, I just wanted to check if you wanted to, I don’t know, maybe come over this evening? I really want to see you,” Dominic asked carefully, he wasn’t sure if Matt would be able to come over because of some other arrangements or because of something to do with Leah. He just had to see him and, as much as he dreaded, have  _that_ conversation with the other man. 

He’d gone out for drinks with Chris and Tom the previous night after work and Chris had once more questioned whether he’d spoken to Matt about everything yet. Of course Dom had been forced to tell the truth and admit that, well, he hadn’t yet, to a very disappointed and concerned Chris. Even Tom had suggested that perhaps he try just get it over and done with; the more he put it off, the harder it would be to have it and then the potential heartache potentially even worse. 

He just dreaded it so much, but he couldn’t deny his friends had a point. Living like this – not knowing where any of this was even going and potentially just wasting his time (breaking his heart) – wasn’t fair on him. On either of them. He loved Matthew and he knew the brunet loved him too, but that didn’t mean that what they were doing was sustainable – hell, he knew it wasn’t! – and he certainly knew it wasn’t right either. 

“Um…” Similarly, on the other side of the line, Matthew was having like thoughts, his conversation with his mother the previous night at the forefront of his thoughts. He had to speak to Dom, had to tell him that they had to face the facts and that, well, Matthew couldn’t… He didn’t even want to think about having to tell the blond he’d made a decision; decided that whatever was going on between them just had to… stop.  

The thought made Matt’s heart ache painfully and his stomach drop sadly. He didn’t want to lose Dom, not after having had the blond return to his life and being reminded of just how much happier he was to have him in it. It was undeniable, since the other man’s return to his life, Matt had been happier than he had been in a long time. Sure he’d been feeling incredibly guilty too, but the way Dominic made him feel was something he’d thought he’d lost forever a long time ago. He couldn’t bear now having to turn him away. 

“Matt?” Dominic asked anxiously, the brunet having just stopped talking, before he’d even begun. 

“Uh, I really want to see you too, but Leah’s away for work at the moment and I said I’d mind the kids all weekend...” Matt replied apologetically. He knew he had to speak to Dominic as soon as possible, but he wasn’t about to have that kind of conversation over the phone.  

“I don’t mind, why not bring them over too? I mean, we could just have a laid back evening, like we had at that pub a couple months back? I don’t know…” The words had left him before he’d even realised it, his subconscious embracing the opportunity to put off  _that_ conversation yet again, buying him just a little more time with the brunet. Besides, he genuinely liked Matt’s kids and, if what he knew to be true deep down and they ended up going their separate ways after  _that_ conversation, this would at least also allow him to, in a way, say his goodbyes to them too. 

“Er…” Dominic’s suggestion had brought a little flutter to his heart; he’d love to be able to spend one last time with the blond before having to do the inevitable. Having his kids around would also be the perfect excuse to himself to not have to tell Dom about his decision yet. Then again, though, he wasn’t so sure about having his kids around in the first place. Sure they’d met Dom already and all, but that had been  _before._ Before this thing between him and the blond had started. He wasn’t so sure if it would be the best idea… 

“Please, Matt? I’d actually really like to see them again too and we could just behave completely platonically? I mean, we don’t have to ‘get it on’, just seeing you would be great…” Dom’s anxiety levels were rising, now that his mind had been given the option of some more time with the other man before  _that_ conversation, which had the great potential of blowing everything up, he really wanted it. 

“Um, are you sure you won’t mind them running around your poncy apartment though?” Matt asked, making a bit of an attempt at lightening the mood a bit. The conversation felt somewhat strained, which he suspected was to do with him and the heavy guilt he felt in his chest at the knowledge of how he knew he was planning on hurting Dom all over again by turning him away. 

“’Course not, I let you in it, don’t I?” Dom sassed right back, the responsive snort of indignation on the other side of the line making him smile sadly to himself. His house felt more like a home than it ever did whenever the other man was in it. 

“Whatever, Howard. Okay, then. I’d love to come over. What time do you want us Bellamys to invade?” 

So the two organised everything, before some screaming could be heard in the background coming from Matt’s side of the line, the brunet then having to excuse himself to attend to whatever was wrong with the tantrum throwing Elliot. 

As Dominic put down his mobile, he couldn’t help shaking his head. What had he just gotten himself into? An evening with his lover and his kids, while also only further delaying the important conversation he  _had_  to still have with the other man. 

 

===

 

“Sammy, no, you must ask Dom if it’s okay to use that table first,” Matt disciplined the little girl, who had already begun to set up shop on Dom’s coffee table, her crayons and pencils spread out all over the wooden surface. 

“No, no, it’s okay, I don’t mind. Just, uh, try not draw on the actual table,” Dom quickly assured the little girl who’d then turned to look at him pleadingly with those big, blue eyes. He was powerless to them, years of her father using his own matching pair very similarly, to get what he wanted, already having conditioned the poor blond. 

“Are you sure, Dom?” Matt asked, shifting Elliot in his arms, “Don’t feel pressured to do whatever she wants of you.” The brunet knew just how persuasive his little girl could be and didn’t want Dom to feel obliged to do anything he didn’t really want to. 

Looking over at Matt, that frown of his furrowed deeply as he bounced a teary Elliot up and down and cuddled him in the hopes of comforting the toddler, who’d knocked his head earlier by crawling into the coffee table when Matt had put him down, Dom couldn’t help notice that the brunet seemed rather more tense than even usual since his arrival a small while ago. 

“Positive,” Dom smiled and nodded, making Matt’s frown disappear, as he was unable to not smile back gratefully at the blond. 

“What do you say, Sammy?” Matt then turned to ask his little girl, who hopped up from where she’d kneeled in front of the table to rush Dominic. 

“Thanks, Dom!”  

“Um, er, sure,” he chuckled, ruffling her messy blonde hair as she hugged him around the waist due to their height difference. 

Matt raised his eyebrows at Dom in surprise as Sammy then charged off back to the table, the blond just smiling and shrugging in response, making Matt shake his head, unable to help from smiling now himself. 

“So, uh, how’s spag bol sound for dinner?” Dom then asked, “I know it’s a simple dish, but I figured it would go down okay with the kids? You also always used to love the stuff.” 

“Perfect, thanks, Dom,” Matt nodded, a slight blush gracing his high cheekbones. 

Leaving Sammy to her drawing, after Dom had helped her with the wide flat screen telly, he led Matt into the smart open plan, modern kitchen, so he could check on their food. 

“Feeling a bit better, Elly?” Matt asked his baby boy, who’d stopped sniffling now, his little face still all pink and bright blue eyes watery. His podgy little hands just clutched tightly onto Matt’s red hoodie, as he then buried his face against his father’s chest. Matt just kissed the top of his head, messy, toffee-coloured hair fluffing everywhere, and rubbed his little back. “Sorry about that, Dom.” 

“No need to apologise, Matt. Don’t be silly,” Dom smiled back warmly, stirring the meatball sauce. 

“The poor kid seems to have been born with my clumsiness,” Matt explained, an affectionate smile curling slightly at the corners of his mouth as he looked down at his youngest, Elliot starting to suck on one of his hoodie’s cords. “Oi, ah-uh,” Matt pulled it out of his hands and subsequently mouth. “Ugh, it’s all gobby now, Elliot.” 

Dom just laughed as he turned off the stove plates and moved to strain the pasta over the sink. 

“Sorry I’m not being very helpful, what can I do?” Matt offered, Elliot having moved onto playing with Matt’s right hand’s fingers, giggling and muttering happily away to himself. 

“It’s cool. Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to do a thing. Just having you around is enough,” Dom smiled, doing his best to keep a blush back, as, pasta ready, he pulled out four bowls. “Though… would you mind maybe assisting me with serving for the kids? I wouldn’t know where to begin with portion sizes.” 

“Oh, of course,” Matt nodded, walking closer and then telling Dom when he thought he’d put enough in each kid’s bowl, before calling Sammy over to eat as he began to cut up Elliot’s food into tiny pieces. “I’ll just feed Elliot and you guys can start eating so long,” Matt then suggested, Sammy running into the kitchen for food. 

“Oh, shi– _Oops_ , I didn’t think about that. I don’t know why, but for some reason I wasn’t thinking about how he’s still so young,” Dom apologised, just managing to stop from swearing in front of the kids. 

“It’s cool. Relax,” Matt smiled reassuringly, as he showed Sammy that she should sit at the kitchen table, which Dom had already set previously, the blond also having already put her bowl down there for her. 

“I’ll wait for you then,” Dom assured him, as he took their bowls to the table, Matt moving to sit Elliot on the kitchen tiles then, putting his back against the wall, before he went to fetch his bowl. When he went to bring it back to his son, it was only to see that he’d begun to roll around on the floor, giggling. 

“Elliot,” Matt sighed, as Dom went over to take the bowl of food from him, so that he could get Elliot to sit once more, before he sat cross-legged in front of the toddler. “Sorry, thanks, Dom.” 

“You sure you don’t want to feed him on one of the couches, or even just on the living room carpet?” Dom asked, handing Matt the bowl when he reached for it. 

“No, it’s fine. Sorry, Elliot can be super messy and I don’t wanna get any of your nice things dirty,” Matt explained, using the spoon he’d put in Elliot’s bowl to mix the food around. 

“Matt, it’s fine. I won’t mind. I feel bad with you guys sitting on my kitchen floor.” 

“Dom, relax,” Matt laughed, looking up from the bowl at the blond and smiling reassuringly at him, the little dimple that formed in his cheek at the gesture, made Dom melt (as it always had) and he just nodded.  

“Is there anything I can do to help though?” Dom asked, still concerned. 

“Um, why don’t you just sit with Sammy and start eating so long?” Matt suggested, so Dom nodded, remembering the little girl now, who had been left alone at the nearby table, and moved to go and join her. 

“And, is it okay?” he asked her when he sat down opposite the little girl, who’d already begun to start wolfing down her food. 

“Yes! It’s yummy! You cook better than Mummy,” she informed him with a big grin, sauce smeared all over her mouth, making Dom have to hold back a giggle. 

“I’m sure that’s not true, anyone can cook pasta. Even your daddy,” Dom teased playfully, deflecting and making the little girl laugh loudly. 

“Oi! That’s not very nice,” Matt protested, turning around to glare at Dom, spoon full of food poised in his hand for Elliot, as he pretended to be offended, only making Dom join in with Sammy’s now positively hysterical laughter. “Rude!”  

“Wude!” Elliot seemed to agree with his dad. 

As Matt went back to feeding Elliot, Dom couldn’t help looking over, smiling affectionately at the funny noises he made to encourage his son to eat. Seeing Matt as a father just warmed his heart to no end. Naturally an accompanying pang hit his heart too though, to know that Matt wasn’t really his and that he’d never get to properly share this with the brunet like he’d always thought they would. 

  
~X~

 

“Is she out?” Matthew asked, walking back into the living room, where Sammy was fast asleep on Dom’s armchair, after having gone to change a very sleepy Elliot’s diaper, as he then put the toddler’s diaper bag down and moved to sit next to Dom on the couch. 

“Yup, completely gone,” Dom smiled, looking over to the little girl who looked completely finished, yet peaceful.

“She had a busy week at school,” Matt nodded, loosening his hold on Elliot when the little guy attempted to reach out for Dom. “What’s up, love? You want to sit with Dom for a bit?” 

“Tah! Sit on lap!” was all Elliot could manage, which was already a lot for the usually quiet toddler, podgy little hands squeezing out at Dom. 

At the prospect, Dom looked up from the little boy to his father, with wide eyes. 

“You don’t mind, do you?” Matt asked, cringing a bit guiltily. “You don’t have to. Really.” 

“Tah!” 

“No, no, it’s okay, I’m used to Danielle’s kids, remember? I’ll be fine,” Dom assured him, though was truthfully still a little apprehensive. He always got a bit nervous around babies if he were honest, the prospect of accidentally making one cry positively nerve-wracking. 

“Alrighty then,” Matt smiled, handing the now giggling toddler over. “Well, look who’s woken up a bit, eh?” Matt grinned at his baby boy as Dom cautiously received him. 

“Oh, he’s quite a light little thing,” Dom observed, sitting Elliot on his lap, the toddler scrunching his hands in Dom’s grey sweater now. 

“Here,” Matt then said, pulling Elliot’s lime green dummy out of his pocket, before brushing it off and leaning over to pop it into the little boy’s mouth, “So he doesn’t start gobbing on something of yours.” 

Dom just laughed, raising a hand to brush through Elliot’s super soft, fluffy hair, his big blue eyes fixed on the blond lazily as he sucked on his dummy, content. 

“He looks so much like you, it’s ridiculous,” Dom commented, bouncing the baby boy on his lap a bit, holding his outstretched little hands to support him. 

“Strange that, considering he’s my son and all,” Matt teased playfully, content to just sit back and watch Dominic and his son interacting, the sight making him smile sadly to himself. He never wanted this moment to end. 

Dom just stuck his tongue out at Matt, before turning back to Elliot and tickling the little guy, making him laugh and spit out his dummy in the process. “Yup, just as ticklish as you too,” Dom commented, as he grinned at Elliot, unable to not laugh with him. 

This time it was Matt’s turn to stick his tongue out at Dom, though he even added in blowing a few raspberries at the blond for good measure. 

“You’re so immature, Matt!” Dom laughed, shaking his head, the brunet bursting into giggles then too as he shrugged unapologetically.

 

~X~

 

“Silence. Finally,” Matthew sighed peacefully, sinking more into the couch beside Dominic. “Bet you wish you hadn’t invited us over now, eh?” 

Matt had carried a sleeping Sammy over to Dom’s spare room bed at the blond’s suggestion and they’d put Elliot’s pram in the room with her, the toddler, now also fast asleep, tucked inside it with one of Dom’s blankets. 

“Nonsense, I had a great time and the kids have been perfectly well behaved,” Dom disagreed, turning his head to look over at the other man with a smile, “You have lovely children.” 

“You’re just saying that,” Matt smiled back tiredly, facing the blond now too. 

“Nope, I’m not. It’s true. They’re fantastic… just like their father.” 

Matt just chuckled in response, his body subconsciously leaning in closer to the other man beside him. Dom naturally found himself mirroring the other man, until the two were shoulder to shoulder, their foreheads leaning against one another and lips just inches apart. 

It was only to be expected then, when their lips were suddenly pressed together, neither knowing nor caring who’d moved those last few inches first. Both relishing in the act, they kissed again. And again. And again, until their sweet pecks turned into heated open-mouthed kisses, which in turn, progressed into wet, tongue-heavy kisses. 

The soothing and addictive feeling of Dom’s tongue sliding against his own, had Matt moaning softly into the kiss, as he then found himself slowly slipping down the couch, Dom’s lithe body moving to cover his own. Long fingers slipped under the back of Dom’s sweater and tee, to reverently stroke smooth, heated skin, the blond’s own fingers having moved to thread into Matt’s silky-soft hair. 

This kissing was so tender and slow, unlike anything they’d been indulging in recently. Dom felt his head spinning and heart fluttering dreamily at the utter loving tenderness he could feel in Matt’s touch and kissing; he felt he was being worshiped. He never wanted this moment to end, his fingers massaging Matt’s scalp in a way he knew the other man loved. In response the brunet sucked on his tongue gently, fingers brushing up and down Dom’s lower back, mapping out the expanse of gorgeous, bronzed skin. 

He didn’t know what it was that suddenly clicked in his head then, Matt’s tender, slow, loving kissing striking up a memory from their past suddenly, causing his stomach to plummet and heart to pang with the kind of heartache that stole his breath for a moment, as he then found himself pulling out of the kiss to look down at the man beneath him. 

Matt didn’t even need to ask why the blond had pulled out of the kiss, Dominic’s broken expression and the lone tear spilling from his eye and rolling down his cheek all the sign he needed to know that he knew and understood.  

The illusion of their own, private little universe was finally shattering all around them. 

“I’m so sorry,” Matt’s voice broke with emotion, along with his heart at the obvious devastation plastered all over Dominic’s face. Yes, he’d done it again: he’d succeeded in breaking the poor blond’s heart all over again, once more due to his own selfish wants. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

Dom just backed up, off the brunet and to the other side of the couch, his watery grey eyes never leaving the equally wet cerulean ones staring right back at him, as Matt sat up too.

“Of course,” was all Dom could say, his eyes dropping to stare at his hands, which sat limply in his lap. He felt like an idiot as he sat there, his heart feeling like it was being pulled apart slowly and painfully. It was all inevitable, he’d known from the start that things would only end this way. That they  _could_  only end this way. That was, perhaps, exactly why he’d kept putting off having  _that_  conversation with the other man.

It would seem, though, that he wouldn’t have to ever worry about having it, as here was his answer right now, before he’d even asked. His yet to be asked question had been answered as soon as he’d recognised the way Matthew had been kissing and treating him, a somber tone to the undeniable tenderness. He’d done the same thing all those years ago, before telling Dom that he was leaving. Before all the yelling on Dom’s part and the hushed apologies on Matt’s. It was exactly the same. He was saying goodbye. Again.

“I wish it could be different. I really do,” Matt tried to communicate all the regret and sorrow he felt for having to do this, as he reached out to cup Dom’s jaw, the blond instinctively leaning into the touch, despite the way his heart was breaking all over again. “But I have the kids to think about. I can’t just leave them or lose them. I have you to think of too, I can’t just expect you to live a half-life because of me. You deserve so much better. You deserve to live a good, happy life. Not to have to hide and sneak around and share.” 

“But, Matt, you deserve to live a good, happy life too. You’re not happy living the way you do, I know it,” Dom replied, trying to hold back the flood of tears he could feel dying to break through. 

Matt just smiled sadly back. “Like I said, I wish it could be different, but it can’t be. I have my children to think of, their happiness comes before my own.” 

Dom just nodded, he knew there would be no convincing the other man and he understood why he was doing what he was doing, and, like Matt, he too wished it could be different. He wasn’t angry or upset at the other man. He was just sad. Sad that things had to be this way, saddened by the situation. 

“I’m so sorry, Dom,” Matt repeated once more, bringing his other hand up so that both were now cupping either side of the blond’s jaw. 

“I know. I am too,” came Dom’s quiet little reply, his voice feeling like it was getting stuck in his throat. 

“I still love you. Please don’t doubt that. I love you so damn much,” Matt breathed sadly, his own voice beginning to choke up now too, as he then used his thumbs to brush away the few tears which had managed to break free from Dom’s crystalline grey eyes. 

“I love you, too.” 

Matthew couldn’t stop himself then, as he leaned forward and joined heir lips in one final, bittersweet, tender kiss. 

“I’ll go get my kids then,” he said softly afterward, reluctantly letting his hands drop down, as he slowly got to his feet. 

“Here, let me help you,” Dom insisted, standing up too and wiping either eye with the sleeves of his jumper, willing himself to pull it together. At least while the other man was still around. He could easily see how distraught Matthew was too, his face hiding nothing, Dom’s tears only serving to clearly distress the smaller man all the more. 

“You don–” 

“Matthew, please.” 

So Matthew just nodded, leading the blond into the spare room, where his kids still slept on silently. He then stooped down to untuck Sammy and scooped her into his arms, turning to see that Dominic had gathered up Sammy’s previously packed bag and Elliot’s diaper bag for him.

“Thank you,” Matt said softly, as Dom folded up the blanket Elliot had been using and moved to push the pram for Matt. 

Neither said a word more as they walked down to Matt’s cherry-red Mini, Dom just silently helping the father of two pack everything into the car, Matthew buckling Sammy in, before securing Elliot in his car seat and then turning to face Dom. 

“Well, uh…” 

“Goodbye, Matt. I hope everything works out for you,” Dom said, genuinely meaning it, as he tried his best to crack a smile, but it came out looking more like a grimace.

“Goodbye, Dom,” Matt nodded, but then, unable to bear just standing there awkwardly, pulled Dom into his arms for one last, strong hug. “I hope that you find someone. Someone who will love and care for you the way you deserve. You deserve only the best,” he said into the blond’s ear, his eyes prickling as a tear finally broke loose.  

Dom just hugged him back tightly, breathing him in, never wanting to have to let go. But in the end he did. He had to. Everything came to an end after all, time never stood still and Matt wasn’t his to keep to himself. And now he never would be. 

 

»•«

_“-seriously? Dom, put that bloody camera away, now is really not the time.” The footage started, only catching some of what the thin man on film was saying. As the picture began to focus, the man’s mess of dirty, bleach blond hair and the fact that he was visibly upset became all the more clear._

_“But we try to film all our big moments, don’t we? So why not record the end of our relationship too? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You’re choosing_ them _. You are, aren’t you?!” a voice off camera said, that of the cameraman’s, sounding just as upset as the man on camera looked._

 _“C’mon, Dom, stop. Stop filming so we can have an actual, proper conversation,” the man on film had taken to pleading now, his eyes fixed on a point just beyond the camera, which itself was growing all the more unsteady._

_“Answer me, Matt. Tell me the truth, you’re leaving me, aren’t you? Christ. You fucking are, you have to be.” The cameraman’s voice was beginning to sound all the more rough with emotion, clearly distressed._

_“Fuck, Dom. Please, just let me talk to you.”_

_The blond man had progressively gotten closer, while the cameraman failed to adjust the camera accordingly, only the man on film’s torso visible now, the buttons on his untucked red shirt clear._

_“Oh God, please, Dom, don’t cry.”_

_The cameraman had stopped replying, though his choppy breathing had become audible now._

_A hand could then briefly be seen, reaching out, the camera not focusing clearly anymore, before the footage began to completely obscure and there was a rustle of movement around the camera. The words “Look, Dom, I… I don’t know ho–” could then just be heard, before the footage cut to black._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shock, horror, an update before the year is out! Don't know how jolly it is though, but I hope you enjoy anyway, should you read. Additional warning: they're all fucking morons. C'mon lucky number 13!

_The footage came to focus on a skinny, young man with dyed black hair, sprawled lazily on a couch as he played a song on the acoustic guitar in his hands, his eyes closed.  
  
The camera drew nearer, the man on film unaware as he continued to strum at the instrument, a litter of random stickers decorating the body of the guitar. He appeared soft, dressed in a baggy jumper and jeans, his feet clad in mismatched socks, black hair messy and unstyled.  
  
“What you playing?” a voice, which had to belong to the cameraman, asked.  
  
The raven-haired man’s eyes slowly opened, before what looked like a suspiciously fond smile curled at his small lips.  
  
“Just a random tune. Nothing special really. Chris won’t mind me using his guitar, will he?”  
  
“Nah, can’t imagine he would. It’s pretty, the tune. You just come up with it on the spot?” the cameraman asked, the frame tightening and the footage blurring briefly as the perspective changed, the cameraman clearly sitting down on the couch beside the man on film.  
  
“Mm-hmm,” the man hummed, his eyes slowly closing again, but the soft smile still played along his lips. “Just fooling around a bit. Letting my fingers do their own thing. Expressing my feelings, perhaps.”  
  
“It sounds lovely. Really. Seems like a happy tune… What’s got you so happy then, Bells?”  
  
“Guess?” the man laughed, opening his eyes again, his focus somewhere just beyond the camera, as his fingers slowed to a stop.   
  
“You’re such a sap.”  
  
“Guilty,” the man laughed, before reaching over to set the guitar down somewhere out of shot. “Why don’t you put that thing away and we can celebrate our two-month anniversary properly, Dommeh?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he said the last bit.  
  
“Oh my God, so sappy, while also a little dirty… Well, say no more then. I fear I may be falling for you, Bellamy.”  
  
“I can assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual.”  
  
There was more laughter then from both men as the footage blurred and static sounded out, before everything cut to black. _  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
The past couple weeks that had gone by had been painful for Dominic, he’d gone through the entire mourning process just like he had all those years ago. Despite his best efforts he hadn’t been able to not watch the tapes again, stuff his face with ice cream and just curl up under his duvet and cry.   
  
It almost felt worse this time round as he knew he’d brought it all upon himself, he’d known all along, deep down, that it would all only end in heartbreak. He felt miserable. He missed Matt. He even missed Sammy and Elliot, whom he’d easily grown attached to, despite their existence having been quite a shock in the beginning.  
  
But he knew the right thing had happened, that the affair had ended because he felt awful for Leah and the kids. He didn’t know what kind of a person it made him, but he still couldn’t help wishing though, that it had been him that Matt had chosen. They could have always worked something out with the kids…  
  
“C’mon, Dom, lighten up,” Tom nudged him, but the expression on his face was sympathetic. “That bloke there keeps looking your way…”  
  
“He does?” Dom asked, completely disinterested, not even bothering to look back up from the glass of whiskey in his hand.  
  
It was Chris’ wife Kelly’s birthday soon, so Chris had decided to throw her a surprise birthday party, naturally Dom had been obliged (forced) to attend. It was the first time he’d really gone out since things with Matt and him had ended, aside from putting a mask on at work, he hadn’t really been dealing much with people since. He still felt completely broken and miserable.  
  
“Yeah, he does. Why don’t you go talk to him, Dom? I know you’re still upset about the whole Matt thing, but there’s that saying: ‘the quickest way to get over someone, is to get under someone else’,” Tom suggested, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. He hated to see Dom like this, he just wanted his friend to be happy again.  
  
“I don’t know if I’m ready yet, Tom…” Dom sighed, equally hating to worry his friend so much, but not wanting to lie to him either.  
  
“And, what’re you two chatting about all cooped up in the corner by yourselves?” Dom looked up to find Kelly smiling warmly at them, a wine glass in her hand.  
  
“I’m trying to convince Dom here to go and chat to that bloke over there, he keeps looking Dom’s way,” Tom readily explained, nodding his head in the direction of a tall man with mousy brown hair who was standing chatting to a bunch of Kelly’s other workmates.  
  
“Roy? Oh, he’s a real sweetheart, Dom, maybe you should go?” she smiled kindly at Dom, squeezing his arm gently. “Maybe that’s just what you need after everything.” Naturally, Kelly knew all about what had happened with Matt, Chris never one to keep anything from her and just like Tom and Chris, she only wanted Dom to be happy.  
  
“I don’t know if that’s the best idea. I don’t think I’m ready yet,” Dom said again, before taking a sip from his whiskey.  
  
“Just try, Dom. Who knows, maybe you really like the bloke? It doesn’t have to go anywhere, even if you just end up chatting,” Tom tried to reason.  
  
“Come, why don’t I go and introduce you? If you don’t like him, I’ll help make up an excuse for you,” Kelly suggested, smiling encouragingly at Dom.  
  
“Fine, but then you two have to get off my back, okay?” Dom relented with a put-upon sigh. He knew his friends were just trying to help him and for that he was grateful, so why not go over just to talk to some guy? Who knows, they may even be right…  
  
  
===  
  
  
“You know, I can’t even remember the last time we had sex before this,” Leah said, getting up from the bed to go find where Matt had tossed her underwear earlier. “It must have been months.  _Months_ , Matty. Like, I know it’s only natural for married couples to have lulls, but I honestly never thought that would be us, until then it suddenly was… I mean, it was on the decline after we had Elliot of course, but the last few months… Worst part is, I didn’t even notice or care for a while. We’ve just been fighting so much lately.”  
  
“Yeah…” Was all Matt could really think of saying in reply. He felt guilty about it all, that he’d been selfish and neglected Leah. Sure, he’d met Dom and then been getting laid regularly the entire time, but she was right, they had been getting along less and less and having sex less and less too since they’d had their youngest child.   
  
Matt suspected that, even if the whole thing with Dom hadn’t happened, that this period of a sexless marriage would still have happened. He wasn’t even too sure if it was properly over yet…  
  
Nothing. Still nothing. Sex wasn’t what was helping anymore, just like the last time they’d shagged. Whatever problems they had weren’t going to be solved by fucking them away this time.  
  
“We should try more, Matt. Both of us, we need to stop arguing so much. It’s not healthy, for us or the kids,” she sighed, finding her knickers before locating her bra and putting them both in the washing basket.  
  
She was right. They fought far too much to be healthy and always about silly things, like who forgot to close the windows when it rained, or the damn diet Leah had initiated or even just over whose turn it was to do the dishes. Every little thing always tended to explode into a massive fight.  
  
“You’re right,” Matt agreed, eyes lazily following her movements as she went to get clean underwear.  
  
“We need to make a fresh start and change things around here,” she continued, looking over her shoulder at him briefly, before returning to also pick out an outfit to wear in their walk-in cupboard.  
  
“Agreed,” Matt nodded, but his mind was still stuck trying to analyse everything. He’d hoped that if they’d just shagged again that perhaps he’d feel better about his decision, that he’d feel that connection that he’d always kind of felt with Leah when they made love. Now, though, he felt even worse about it all.  
  
That connection was gone and he feared it would most likely never return.   
  
His mind told him he’d made the right decision, the responsible choice, for the sake of his kids at least, but his heart pined for Dominic. He was miserable and depressed, it took so much from him though to hide it from Leah and the kids. He didn’t want to upset them anymore. He had a duty to them…  
  
“You okay, Matty? You’re not exactly talkative and have been acting a little off lately…” she suddenly pointed out, surprising Matt. Clearly he wasn’t doing such a good job at hiding how miserable he felt.   
  
“Um, I’m okay… just, er, relaxing a bit,” he lied and it scared him how easy he found it was to do so. He’d been lying to her so much the past few months that it now came naturally.  
  
“Hmm, if you say so,” Leah sighed, knowing Matt would only share if he wanted to. “Well you best start getting ready then, don’t wanna be late for the party.”  
  
Matt just grunted in reply, lying on as his back as he stared blankly at the ceiling. He had no desire to go to the party his firm was having in celebration of the completion of their biggest project, a new shopping mall that would now be opening soon. He just wanted to stay in bed, the realisation of this making him even more aware of how upset he was about losing Dominic again.   
  
“Well, I’m gonna go shower so long,” she then called over her shoulder before disappearing into their en suite.  
  
Sighing, Matt rolled over to look out of the bedroom window and watch the rain pelting the glass. It had been raining near non-stop the past few days and the thought of having to go out in that, made him want to stay in bed even more. It felt like the rain was a sign.  
  
  
~x~  
  
  
Matthew watched the people all chatting and socialising happily around him, drinking bubbly and laughing at jokes, the atmosphere light and celebratory. Instead of doing the rounds and chatting to his employees and their plus ones or the (thankfully delighted) clients, he was sat in a corner and drinking by himself. He was in no mood for any of this.  
  
It had just been getting worse. His lack of sleep wasn’t helping and his niggling doubts wouldn’t leave him alone and after the afternoon’s attempt at rekindling something with Leah, they’d only gotten worse.  
  
He was miserable, he couldn’t keep trying to hide from the fact, he thought, downing the last of his drink.  
  
“You want a refill there, Bellamy?” Matt looked up to find Alistair standing beside him. “Or something a little more potent. You look like you could do with some proper liquor.”  
  
“Yeah, and what do you have in mind then?” Matt asked, forcing a smile for his best mate and partner in the firm.   
  
“Well, I have a bottle of some pretty fine whiskey we could take a crack at in my office?” Alistair suggested.  
  
“Well then, lead the way…” Matt replied with a shake of his head, before getting up to follow the other man into his office. He really could do with something a lot stronger to put back. It felt cliché, but he wasn’t in the mood to care, he just wanted to drown his sorrows and misgivings.  
  
In the end, one drink led to another and another. And another. Instead of making Matt feel any better, drinking the whiskey only made him think more of Dom. Whiskey was the blond’s drink of choice after all…  
  
“Whoa, Matt, maybe we should slow down a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put back booze like this,” Alistair had eventually suggested, not caring that their combined efforts had drained the bottle, but having noticed that he himself could barely sit up straight as it was. He’d just been attempting to keep up with Matt, resulting in the two of them being slumped in his comfy leather sofa. “Is something the matter?”  
  
“Uh, nah, just… felt like drinking,” Matt replied, drunk but not enough to come clean to even Alastair.   
  
“Alrighty,” Alastair grinned skewly back at the smaller brunet, before getting up onto his suddenly clumsy legs. “I’m gonna go check on the rest then. Just don’t stay cooped up back here all night, alright?”  
  
“Sure,” Matt nodded, not even caring that he could hear himself slur. All he could think about was how he thought he’d made an awful mistake. He felt awful without Dominic. He missed him and loved him. He needed the other man in his life. Being alone in Alastair’s office, Leah somewhere with the rest of them, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like now if he’d chosen Dominic instead.  
  
What things would be like now if he’d never left Dominic in the first place.  
  
He loved his kids beyond words and couldn’t imagine life without them, but he did wonder how different his life would have been if he’d chosen Dom over his parents instead…  
  
Poor Dom, he always seemed to draw the short straw when it came to Matt making decisions; this realisation of course only made Matt’s heart feel all the more heavy.  
  
He desperately wanted to see Dominic, to make things better. He wanted Dom, he wanted to apologise. Ask for the blond to take him back. Living like this wasn’t doing anyone any good anyway. And he just so happened to be drunk enough, the liquor within him only saturating as time went by, to not see a problem with him shakily getting onto his feet before making a beeline straight for the exit. He’d take public transport and leave his mini for Leah; she already had his keys anyway.  
  
  
===  
  
  
Matt’s heart was thumping with nerves as he made his way up the flight of stairs to Dom’s floor, his trip from the bus stop into the apartment block having left him fairly damp with rain, but luckily the doorman had recognised him and let him inside out of the downpour.   
  
His trip up the stairs was not a speedy one, his inebriated state meaning he stumbled rather a bit more than usual, so had to take each step carefully, while he clutched onto the railing for support. He was too anxious to just stand around in the elevator, so a shaky trip up the stairs it was.  
  
Damn, he felt a mess, but he just  _had_  to see Dominic, it was the sole thing dominating his thoughts, as he ran his fingers through his damp hair in an attempt to neaten it somewhat. He no doubt looked a right mess, sozzled half out his mind and soaked from the rain; he just hoped Dom wouldn’t mind too much.  
  
Eventually though, he made it to Dom’s front door and, after trying to straighten himself up a bit, Matt gave the door a couple firm knocks. Then, he waited, foot tapping nervously on the ground and fingers twisting absentmindedly with the bottom of his half-untucked shirt, his body swaying ever so slightly.   
  
After a bit, when Dom still hadn’t yet answered, he knocked a few more times. This time he was answered.  
  
“Coming, coming!” he could hear Dom calling from the inside, before after a couple more minutes and a few muttered words, Matt could hear that Dom was unlocking the door, before it opened to reveal the man in question.  
  
_“Matt?!”_  
  
It was clear the blond was shocked to find that it was Matthew that had knocked on his door, but before he could say anything more, the brunet was rushing into the words he’d been rehearsing in his head the whole trip over.  
  
“Dom, ’m so sow-sorry, I made a hu-huge mista–”   
  
“Matt, are you drunk?” Dom asked in concern, the brunet’s telltale worsened speech impediment and flushed cheeks, not to mention the way his slight body was rather unsteady, all bringing him to the obvious conclusion.  
  
“May-maybe, but it doesn’t matter. Dom, I still kn-know what I want, s’all I’ve been able to th-think ‘bout: you. ’m so unhappy. I need yo–”  
  
“Dom, who’s there?”  
  
The sudden and unexpected call – the voice that of a man’s – from somewhere inside Dom’s flat brought Matt to a screeching halt, as suddenly his whole world came crashing down on him yet again. Suddenly his eyes noticed what they’d failed to when the blond had first opened his door.  
  
Dominic was shirtless, his trousers clearly having been pulled up in a hurry, the belt – that leopard print one he so adored – through the loops still undone and his hair was a mess, poking in every direction. The obvious realisation of what this all meant stopped Matt’s heart, as his eyes blew wide in horror.  
  
“I-I’m sow-rry, I didn’t know you had com-company…” And suddenly Matt was backing up, but his clumsily inebriated state caused him to accidentally fall flat back on his arse.  
  
“Here, Matt,” Dom reached out to try and help the other man up, guilt tearing at his insides despite the fact that he knew in theory he had nothing to feel guilty about.  
  
“No, no. ‘m fine, ‘m fine,” Matt insisted stumbling back onto his feet. “S-sowwy I disturbed you.”  
  
And before Dom could move any closer or say another word, Matt was hightailing it back down the stairs, embarrassment and an aching heart burning through his drunken fog as he fled for the outdoors once more.   
  
“Who was that?” Dom turned to see Roy standing a few paces behind him, now only wearing his boxers again.  
  
“Uh…” Dom anxiously looked back down the passage toward the stairwell where Matt had just disappeared down as quickly as he’d arrived, and then back to the kind, funny man, whom he’d just shagged mere minutes before, standing in his apartment.  
  
To say he was at a complete loss for words would’ve been an understatement.   
  
  
===  
  
  
Meanwhile, back on the sofa Matt had been sitting on with Alistair only over an hour or so earlier, was his friend once more, but this time with a blonde.  
  
Both he and Leah had consumed more than their fair share of alcohol over the course of the evening and when they’d both discovered Matt’s absence, they’d somehow ended up in Alistair’s office, with the original and innocent intention of looking for the missing man. Instead, however, things had developed in a rather unexpected manner, neither knowing who’d made the first move.  
  
Either way, they were now a tangle of limbs, panting and gasping for air, clothing all over the place, as hands clutched at flesh and hair, while their mouths and bodies moved in sync…  
  
  
===  
  
  
After having made a run for it out of Dominic’s building, Matthew found himself wandering the streets aimlessly in the rain.  
  
The water pelting down on him was icy and was already beginning to seep through his light blazer and soak his socks, but he couldn't bring himself to care, his mind wholly focused on the fact that Dominic had already managed to move on so quickly. He'd thought that perhaps the blond may have felt similarly about their second parting, knowing he himself struggled to function, yet he'd found that not to be the case at all.  
  
The pain, radiating from the centre of his chest throughout the rest of his body, was all consuming and he felt like his body was caving in on itself. He'd been suffering before, he'd also suffered greatly when he'd left Dominic all those years ago too, but none of that now compared with the agony he was currently experiencing. His heart was breaking. Seemingly shattering into thousands of pieces within him, cutting and tearing at his insides.  
  
After a while, having stumbled through yet another muddy rain puddle, his less than sober state making his maneuvering – however aimless it may be – all the more difficult, he became aware of the wet heat streaming down his cheeks, joining that of the frigid rain drops sliding over his chilly skin. He knew he should hardly be surprised to find himself crying, the other man seemingly the only thing in his life that reduced him to such a state.  
  
As his intoxicated, hyper-analytical mind churned and continued to attempt to process what he'd just witnessed, that tearing, ripping sensation only seemed to get worse, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stop the thoughts of the fact that Dominic was already fucking another man,  _loving_  another man, from torturing him.  
  
Then there came his self-loathing and depreciating thoughts, sneering at him, making him doubt whether Dom had even loved him this time round after all. What was there  _to_  love about him anyway? He'd only broken Dom's heart the first time round when they'd been beginning to make a life together. Then there was the fact that he was too short anyway, had gotten fat in the meantime as well and still had terrible teeth, not to mention the fact he knew his feet often smelt...  
  
The thoughts also began making him question whether Dom had been screwing other men all along behind his back.  
  
_It would make sense, surely?_  
  
He hadn't managed to give enough time to Dom, leaving the blond alone most of the time, while he himself had a wife and kids to return to, shared a bed with Leah... He couldn't have been enough for Dom. How could he?  
  
It got to a point where the spiteful and self-doubting thoughts got to be too much, snapping the broken shards of Matt's heart into even smaller pieces, leaving him to find himself gasping loudly in pain, his breath fogging before him in the icy rain. It sounded like he was choking, spluttering...  
  
His body felt like it was caving in even more, curling in on itself, and Matt found himself needing to collapse against the wall of a nearby house, his unsteady legs not enough to support him any longer. He could barely see a thing for all the tears and rain, and so he found himself wrapping his arms around his bent legs, as he began to sob pitifully into his knees.  
  
He knew he was soaked though to the bone and that it was most likely all the booze that he'd consumed which was making him behave even more emotional than he knew he had any right to, but in that moment he couldn't help himself. All he could think about was the fact that his whole life was a lie and that the man he loved, didn't love him back and was currently fucking another man, while he sat here and cried in the rain like the pathetic loser he was.  
  
  
===  
  
  
By the time Matthew had found himself back home, all the lights off except the entrance hall one to greet him, he just peeled off his drenched clothing and showered robotically.  
  
His whole being felt numb. He had exhausted his crying and had moved into a rather more apathetic phase of his latest breakdown. He felt completely detached of himself, just moving through everything on autopilot.  
  
After drying off and pulling on a pair of dry boxers and an old tee and sliding into bed beside Leah, who had her back facing toward his side of the bed, he found himself mirroring her, by turning away from her too, his eyes drifting to their bedroom window. Leah had clearly forgotten to draw the curtains before going to bed, so Matt ended up finding himself staring blankly at the rain pelting the glass again. He knew he would not find any sleep, so did not even bother to close his eyes.  
  
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he found himself wondering if Leah was mad at him for ditching the party and then being M.I.A. when she'd gotten home.  
  
Suddenly then, though, guilt somehow managed to seep into his already shattered feeling body. He'd gone off, left the party and his wife, fully intending to leave her permanently and dedicate himself to Dominic and beg him to take him back in a more permanent and exclusive position. Instead though, he'd found himself without having that as an option anymore, so naturally he'd returned to his home and his wife, whom he'd known would be waiting for him, clueless of the fact that he was now only settling for her. She deserved better.  
  
Dominic deserved better too. He had every right to now be fucking someone else, what was any of that Matt's business? He'd turned Dom away. Again. The blond had done nothing wrong, he had every right to do as he pleased.  
  
Matt was the one in the wrong.  
  
_I'm a complete and utter bastard._  
  
Beside him, Leah heard the heavy sigh which left Matt, his body feeling miles away from hers, despite the fact that they were sharing the same bed. She pulled the covers closer to herself, trying to hide herself.  
  
She felt ridiculous and full of shame, having feigned sleep upon her husband's return to their home. She couldn't bear to face him though, not after what she'd done. She'd never felt more guilty and miserable with herself in her life.  
  
She wasn't a cheater. She'd never been unfaithful before. Did it really only take one too many glasses of champaign, for her to find herself breaking all of that by seeking the attention she craved from another man?  
  
She loved Matthew. She was also fairly certain he loved her too... Things had just been so  _hard_  recently. Different. He'd been so distant, working late hours and even simply avoiding her when he was actually home. All they'd been doing lately was fighting. But then, when he'd suddenly surprised her that afternoon, she'd thought those sparks would reignite and breathe back the life that had grown absent in their marriage. Instead, she'd found herself oddly hollow and lost...  
  
She didn't know what she'd been thinking, getting drunk off her face like that this evening and letting herself be drawn into a room alone with Alistair. She knew he was Matt's best friend. She knew she should've known better. She also knew, however, that the other man had always had a thing for her, no matter how hard he'd tried to hide it...  
  
She'd just wanted to... She didn't know what exactly... feel wanted? Know for a fact that she was desired? Lusted after? Compare? Find the sparks that had been lacking?  
  
She felt like an idiot.  
  
_I_  am  _an idiot._  
  
As she heard another drawn out sigh from her husband, she felt her stomach churn. She was such an awful wife. Awful mother. And with her husband's best mate too?  
  
_Oh God..._  
  
Suddenly she was on her feet and bolting towards the bathroom, hand over her mouth. The drinking and guilt too much to keep down.  
  
Alarmed, Matt rushed to her side, guilt driving him forward too, despite his current state of utter heartbreak and intoxication, as he quickly helped gather her long, blonde hair behind her into his fist and out of the way.  
  
"I've got you, Lee," he assured her, putting his other hand on her back and beginning to rub soothing circles as she was sick into the toilet.  
  
Of course the fact that he'd been quick to her aid and was being so tender with her, made Leah feel even worse. She felt utterly deplorable. Here she was being sick due to having drank way too much and having a guilty conscience from having slept with his best friend, while he was readily at her side, there to help support and care for her, completely in the dark about it all. He deserved better...  
  
  
»•«  
  
  
_“Hey, you’re playing that tune again,” a voice from behind the camera said, that of the cameraman’s, as the sight of a man with cherry red hair came into picture. The man was strumming on an acoustic guitar, sat on a double bed with his back leaning against the wall.  
  
The man looked up, eyes focusing on a point just beyond the camera as he smiled and slowly nodded.  
  
“Haven’t heard it in a while,” the cameraman said, as the camera moved in closer, before dipping a bit as the man presumably sat down on the end of the bed. “Forgot how pretty it was.”  
  
“I should play it to you more often then. I did write if for you after all,” the red-haired man said, his eyes now focused on his fingers’ smooth movements.  
  
“Y-you did? Wait, but I thought you said you were just messing around, all impromptu like?”  
  
“Nah, I lied. I was shy, didn’t quite know how you’d take me writing a love song for you, especially only after a couple months of being together.”  
  
“It’s beautiful though, Matt. I love it. I love you.”  
  
The red-haired man smiled, but his eyes remained on the guitar. “I knew I was in love with you after the first time these chords came together to make this song. They were like the embodiment of all the feelings I couldn’t quite yet make into words, nor comprehend; helped me realise it all. I’d like to think the song, although simple, speaks of that love, without the need for any lyrics, just feelings alone…”  
  
“It is a very happy song.”  
  
“Well, ours is a happy love, at least I’d like to think it is.” The red-haired man then looked up to meet the cameraman’s eyes, his fingers beginning to slow down, a shy smile playing at his lips.  
  
“Ours is indeed,” the cameraman hummed, before adding, “Hey, Matt?”  
  
“Hmm?” The red-haired man set the guitar gently aside, opening his arms widely.  
  
“Let’s never lose that.”  
  
“Sounds like a plan,” the red-haired man agreed, before making ‘come here’ gestures with his hands, arms still open wide invitingly. “Now put that away and let's have a cuddle, we only have to meet up with the others in about an hour still.”  
  
“Well how can I say no to that?” The footage blurred then, before managing to stabilise facing downwards at a black jean-clad lap, before the footage too cut to black. _


End file.
